The Girl I Once Loved

Chapter 7

Rafael's POV

It may have been a tad bit overkill, but everyone was laughing hard. She was definitely going to be picked on by the teacher in probably every class about her books. Let's see her wiggle her way out of that.

I just stood off to the side, smirking.

I don't bother to see what she does with her locker after that. I head to class and prepare her desk for a sticky surprise. I was not about to stop with just one prank today.

After my breaking point yesterday, my friends have been concerned about me and have voiced their concerns about the bullying.

I really do not want to hear any of it. I just had a moment of weakness. I can't let anyone see that side of me because than they would judge me for that.

Will and Jonathan are joking around next to me as I have my eyes trained on the door. I want to watch her for her reaction when she sat down.

But Mrs. Beales walked in and started class. And then class was over.

No Amara.

A few more classes go by and still no Amara. Did she just leave?

Before the day even began?

Damn, maybe I scared her off. I couldn't tell if it was a good thing or a bad thing. Maybe I don't have to see her again. Was I happy about that?

By lunchtime, I was convinced she was gone for the day. I go to sit at the football team table. This unsettling feeling in my stomach.

"What's going on?" I greeted everyone. I place my tray on the table and begin to eat.

"We were talking about this bet," one kid, Tony, spoke up.

"What kind of bet?" I asked. This pulled me out of my head for a bit.

The whole team knows I love a challenge. I have not lost one of them yet. There have been a few that got me into trouble, but I couldn't care less.

"We bet you can't get with every senior girl before graduation," another, Benny, said.

"Pshh, I need a real challenge, boys. That's already been done." I rolled my eyes at their childish manner.

"Dude," Tony said. "Did you forget about the new girl?"

Fuck. I forgot again

"Ah f*****g hell." I mutter. Some found that amusing and started to chuckle.

"You have broken so many hearts already. What's breaking one more? Especially one who already has your attention in another way." Tony said. They obviously do not know the past I used to have with Amara.

"Not her," I grit out. I can see Will to my left looking at me with a concerning look. We have not spoken about last night and I never want to.

"We all have bets on it. Do you really want to lose it?" Benny said.

Just then an idea crossed my mind. Maybe if I could use and dump her, that would break her heart and she would be just as devastated as I was. Maybe I could use this to my advantage.

I smirk as I look back at them.

"You know what?" I could see the heads turning towards me to see what I had to say. "I think I will make this heartbreak the most greatest there was."

"Are you sure about this?" Jonathan pipes in. He has a worried look on his face as if he doesn't like the way this is going. He is very aware of how close Amara and I were. He was the only one to be in our grade school. But what can I say? I am heartless and couldn't care less.

"I have nothing to lose."

****

Amara did not come to school for the rest of the week. I'm not sure if I should be happy or sad about it.

On the one hand, I don't have to see her. But on the other hand, now that she has resurfaced, I can't get her off my mind no matter what. So whether she is physically in school or not, I am always thinking about her.

Fury just shoots through my body with the thought of her. I was so in love with her. I feel those same feelings coming back. I so badly wanted to forget about the past and pull her in close. Hold her like I have always needed her. And she was just gone when s**t hit the fan.

With this much time to simmer over the first two days of the week, I start to feel bad for how I had treated her. Just feel so conflicted in how I should feel about the events.

I throw myself into homework and practice so not to have another mental break, but there is just not much else I can do. I am ahead in my classes as school barely just started and there is only so much practice the coach wants me to go through. He is always complaining that I am not letting my body rest. Sometimes, I couldn't care less of what my body was doing. I just wanted to feel that adrenaline rush.

At night, I lay wondering if I should reach out to her.

She didn't have a phone before moving, so I don't have a number to call her now. She does not have any socials, so that is also a dead end. But why do I care about checking up on her?

The feelings I have for her just keep coming back up. I tried so hard to push the s**t down, but I can't deny what I feel.

I really miss her and want her. But I can't have her. Who would want a messed-up boy? Certainly not my family. They made that very clear that I was a huge disappointment to them. I don't deserve someone like her.

I know I told her that I will make her life hell for making mine like that. But I am starting to second guess myself. I know I blame her for what happened, but is that really fair?

I feel so conflicted. As the week wore on, that conflict just went deeper.

It's Friday night and my phone is being blown up by everyone asking if I was going to the party that is at some cheerleader's house.

I am never one to blow off a party and, if anything, it is widely known that I always show up.

But I don't feel like being around anyone tonight. Maybe if Amara showed up at school today, it would be another story, but she didn't. She missed 4 whole days of school.

I went to check to see if anyone is home but the house is very quiet.

I went to grab a few cans of beer from my dad's stash. I never touch his booze, but if I'm not going to the party, I need something to help calm my nerves.

My parents stopped keeping tabs on me and never cared if I was around or not. I just try to remain as invisible as possible. I am either in my room or I am out. Nothing in between. There have been weeks that I went without seeing either. They just stopped caring.

I headed out of the house and started the walk to the forest. There is a mini forest preserve that is about two blocks away. It has some great trails to go hiking, but there is this one spot I like to go to. I go there whenever I need to think. No one ever thinks about finding me there.

But it's not like anyone is looking for me now anyway.

This might be the first Friday night I spend by myself in a long time.