One Night, Contract Bound

TheAffair

Idina’s P.O.V.

They stopped. They’d seen me. Francis stood up in a haste, both of them quickly adjusting their clothing. I just stared at them, transfixed on the spot. I willed the tears that were starting to well up in my eyes to stay back. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

“Idina, why are you here?” He asked, pulling the nurse he was kissing behind him in a protective gesture. He obviously wasn’t scared he was going to lose me. If he was, he’d be apologizing by now, begging me on the very same knees he’d used to cheat. But no. He was scared I was going to hurt her instead. She was a priority. I wasn’t. Ouch.

All my life, I have spent with him. There was no one before him, and up until now, I believed there would be no one after. I was proud to show everyone that high school romance could actually grow into something solid. Guess I had only proved myself wrong.

Finally coming out of my trance, I slowly made my way out of the office. Partially because what I had just experienced was weakening, even to the marrow of my bones. But also because somewhere inside of me, I hoped he’d call me. I hoped he’d regain his senses and ask for forgiveness. But he didn’t. Instead, immediately I had crossed the threshold of his office door, he slammed it behind me, locking it.

I looked up and saw Liz staring at me with so much sympathy. She wasn’t the only one, a few others had gathered in front of the office. I guess we had garnered an audience.

“I’m so sorry,” Liz said, pulling me into a hug. I couldn't hold it anymore. I just… sobbed. Then, I cried. Then, wailed. So loudly, the whole hospital had to have heard me. Eventually, I stopped. Then I picked the remaining fragments of self esteem I had from the floors of the ward and left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stepped into my house and went to the kitchen. Laying on the countertop —the same countertop he’d place me on and kiss me while we made breakfast together— was the groceries I got this afternoon. Today was our anniversary. How could he do this to me today? Of all the 365 days he had this year, it just had to be today didn’t it? The place I called a home of love was in reality, just a home of lies. I couldn’t stay here. Everything reminded me of him. And I didn’t want to risk him coming home to meet me. Because I knew he’d still come home, because he was that shameless.

I left and walked a few blocks to Anaya’s house, knocking when I got there.

“Idina? What’s wrong, Idina?” Anaya asked, concern written all over her face. She obviously could tell something was wrong, she was my best friend for a reason.

“Can I sleep over?” I asked, tears filling my eyes once again. I had cried all through the walk to Anaya’s house. And now, I was crying again.

“Of course. Let me just ask Charles to leave.”

“Ohhh he’s here? I wouldn’t ruin that for you. You rarely get to see each other. I’ll just go home.”

“It’s okay, Idina. And if you were okay enough to go home, you wouldn’t be here in the first place.”

I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I burst into tears. So many things were running through my head. Who was she? How long has this been happening? Was he ever going to tell me? Did he even feel bad about what he did? Was it… was it my fault?

“Come inside.” She led me to her room and just let me cry, holding me throughout.

“He cheated.” I eventually told her. I told her everything. From the beginning to the end. From the expression on his face to the pain I felt in my heart when I saw them. And she just listened. She didn’t ask me anything. She just listened to me, and cried with me.

And after that she hugged me. And just said: “I love you Idina. I love you so much.” After that we just went to bed.

———

The smell of coffee filled my nostrils and that was my motivation to stand up from the bed. I was feeling so drained, more emotionally than physically. Thankfully, I didn’t have to go anywhere today. I could just stay with Anaya.

“Good morning.” I said to Anaya, walking into the kitchen.

“I’m making coffee. Let’s have breakfast and then we’ll talk okay?”

“Okay.” I nodded.

“I would have made the pancakes but you are better at that so I’ll just stick to the eggs and bacon.” Anaya said.

I laughed. And laughed again. And just kept on laughing until I was actually just sobbing.

“I’m sorry.” I said after I had finally composed myself. “It just hurts so much.”

“Don’t apologize. You have done nothing wrong. That bastard, he’ll pay for this. I’ll make sure of it.”

“Don’t do anything Anaya. Please.”

“I can’t let him get away with this. I’m sorry but I’m not listening to you.”

“There’s no need for us to reduce ourselves to his level.”

“You stay where you are, I’ll do the reducing.” She said.

“Ana-“

“Want sausages?” Anaya asked, cutting me off. The conversation was over. She had made her decision and there was nothing I could do to stop her. And even though Francis hurt me I didn’t want anything bad to happen to him.

Call me soft or stupid, I don’t care. The truth is when you really love someone, you never want them to be hurt in any way. And you won’t just stop loving them even if they have hurt you. And that just makes me realize that Francis stopped loving me, if at all he ever loved me.

“Where is the flour?” I asked. I started making the pancakes, making sure not to wallow in my pain and think about what Francis did. I focused on my batter and then once I had fried them all, I focused on the perfect pancakes I made. And after that, I focused on eating. It was taking a lot of focus but by the time I was done eating not a single thought about Francis had entered my mind.

We were done and I offered to wash the dishes. I needed something to focus on. Just then, there was a knock on the door.

“I’ll get it,” I told Anaya.

I walked to the door and opened it.

And there he was. The reason behind my pain.

Francis.

His face was unreadable, cold, just like a stranger’s. How could he look like that while I was breaking inside?

“What are you doing here?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

He didn’t answer. Not right away.

Instead, he looked me dead in the eyes and said, “We need to talk.”

My stomach dropped. For a moment I had felt hope. I thought, ‘Maybe he was here to try to fix things. Maybe he was sorry.’ But he wasn’t.

He didn’t come to apologize.

He came to end everything.