Out of my League

Middle School Blues

"Star light, star bright. First star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might. Have the wish, I wish tonight," I whispered, my eyes closed.  

"And what did you wish for, may I ask?" a know-it-all voice boomed. 

I opened one eye, and sneaked a peek at Kier. At twelve, his voice has changed. It was no longer the squeaky type one that made me snicker. It was almost...manly. Well, he grew by so many inches over the past few summers. Meanwhile, I stayed still the same. Still the same lanky, ol' me. 

We were already going to the same school much to my chagrin and much to his amusement. Now, don't get me wrong. I didn't become the nerdy middle schooler with thick eyeglasses and zero social life. I have become...average. You know, the normal one. Nothing exciting. Nothing too dramatic. I wake up, go to school, mind my own business, do my homework, go to a few of my school clubs, meet with some friends.... 

Yes, I've managed to have my own set of girlfriends. Can you believe that? 

Anyway, I stared at Kier, my eyes completely open now. 

"Well, you aren't supposed to tell your wishes out loud you know." 

"And what? They don't come true? C'mon, you believe that nonsense?" he asked, nonplussed. 

"Well...," I muttered. 

"Well what?" he insisted. 

Suddenly, I got annoyed that he was invading my space. It was almost eight o'clock. I just finished dinner. My parents were watching TV and I was having a personal moment in our deck. 

"What are you even doing here?" I asked. 

For a split second, confusion marked his face. 

"I was just asking! Jeez, you don't have to be so sensitive about it."  

I shrugged, "I have to go back inside. I still have some homework to do." 

His face brightened once again, "Annnd...speaking of homework, do you think you can help me with mine?" 

I looked at him questioningly, "Huh? You're the seventh-grader, Kier. I'm supposed to ask for your help with homework!" 

He smiled sheepishly, "Oh you know. Math is not one of my strongest points, Sam." 

And just with those soft words, those doe eyes, I sighed, "Ok fine. Let's go to your house. I will do my homework from there." 

* 

"Sam! Sam! Hey, Sam!" somebody shrieked. Without even turning around, I knew it was Maggie. 

"Hi Maggie. Wassup?" 

"Sam! Sam!" she continued. 

I sighed, "Maggie, yes? I'm here. What is it?" 

Maggie has been my friend since elementary days. We were in the same first grade class, and became inseparable soon after. You could say that we are almost alike, except that she can speak three languages. Her parents also expect her to be a doctor or an engineer. She has confided in me that all that she wants to be is to become a diplomat's wife. Not a diplomat. but a diplomat's wife. Well, her linguistic skills would probably help.  

"Aren't you excited that it's Monday?" she grinned. 

"Not really. Why should I be?" 

"Oh you know. It's the beginning of the week. Time to start anew," she continued grinning. 

"What happened over the weekend, Maggie?" I asked curiously. 

"I thought you would never ask!" she shrieked. 

Before I could say anything, she continued babbling, "We are going to Europe over the summer! Can you believe that? My dad has to do some business stuff over there! My mom and I will tag along. Of course, Tobi will come as well," she rolled her eyes. Tobi is her older brother who goes to university. 

"Wow, Maggie! That is so exciting!" I was genuinely happy for her. And a bit jealous too. My parents and I never go anywhere. Yes, we would go to some hotels in some remote state just so we could tell people we've actually gone somewhere. But we've never, ever flown out of the US. "Honey, we live in paradise. We don't need to go to some far-flung countries," my mom would snort as if the thought of riding an airplane was so disgusting. 

Then my heart sank. It means, I would have to spend my summer on my own. Beckie, our other friend usually spends her summer with her grandparents in Florida. Suzy, also our other friend loves summer camps. 

Kier and I have been spending less and less time together during summers. He was usually in sports camps, and I would be usually with Maggie just meandering around our neighborhood. 

Maggie touched my arm lightly, "Hey, I know. We won't be together. Maybe Beckie or Suzy would be around, you know." 

I know she was just trying to be nice. I shrugged my shoulders, "C'mon, Maggie. You're going to Europe! What could be more fantastic than that?! Don't you worry about me!" 

* 

Tick-tock. Tick-tock.  

"Please can this class be over already?" I thought as Miss Richmond kept on talking about some elements of the periodic table. 

Don't get me wrong. I love science. I love math. I love school.  

But the thought of spending summer on my own actually terrifies me. I will turn twelve in August, and just the mere idea of not having my friends around to celebrate sadden me. That's what you get for being a summer baby! 

* 

"All ok, Sam Baby?" my mom asked concernedly. We were having a barbecue in our backyard with a few of my parents' friends. She must have seen me sulking in a corner. 

I took a large gulp of my orange juice, and slightly shook my head. 

"Oh...Honey, what's wrong? Is it something at school? Is it Kier? Did he say something horrible? Oh that boy. I will speak to his parents!" she started glancing around, looking for Kier's parents. 

"Mom, mom. Calm down. Everything's ok. And it has nothing to do with Kier, ok?"  

She sighed," Well, that's a relief. You know, I like Kier a lot! Then, what is it, Sam? Please tell mommy." 

"Maggie's going to Europe over summer," I whispered. 

"Oh...," she said softly, "Are you sad because she's going to Europe or because she's leaving you on your own?" 

"Both, I guess." 

"Yes, I can imagine," she nodded. "I know Dad and I are not the most well-traveled parents around, Sam. Dad's busy at work all the time," she sighed.  

Then she looked around her, and almost like telling me an old-age secret, "And I have a fear of flying, Sam. I don't like airplanes. They're terrifying. 

I looked at her, aghast. She looked downright serious. All this time I thought they were just being boring and stingy parents. But she had actually a reason not to travel. I cannot believe it. 

"Seriously, mom?" 

"Seriously," she nodded solemnly. 

"Oh mom. I'm so sorry. I thought you and Dad were just um, being, um, lazy," I said softly. 

"Well, you know you can always travel! On your own. When you're eighteen," she smiled. 

I grinned. Suddenly happy. Deliriously happy. I was eleven years old. My mom just gave me her seal of approval to travel on my own. Well, not in the next seven years or so, anyway. But still. 

* 

"What's that smile all about, Missy?" Kier asked, dribbling a ball. 

I excitedly told her about Maggie's summer plans and my own plan to travel when I turn eighteen. 

"And how are you going to travel? Where are you going? How can you afford to do that? Do you think your parents will give you any money?" he almost sounded shocked. 

"Well, Mister. I've already gotten it all figured out! I don't know yet where will I go. But I know I will go somewhere!" 

"And, and, and..."I said almost breathlessly. 

"And what?" he asked, unimpressed. 

"I will get part-time jobs! I will do some baby-sitting, perhaps. Or work at Rainbows, the ice cream shop." 

"Well, good luck with ALL of that!" He started dribbling the ball quickly, running after one of his basketball friends." 

* 

The final bell of sixth grade rang. 

"Yaaaaay!" we all shouted. Maggie's shout was the loudest. Followed by Beckie's, Suzy's and mine. 

"Finally!" Suzy said, rolling her eyes.  

"All set for summer camps, Suz?" I inquired, knowing all too well her reply. 

"Oh yes!!! I've got all of my weeks covered. I've made sure that my mom put me in different camps each week. None of those month-long camps for now. Boring, to be honest," she quickly answered. 

"And what about you, Becks? When are you off to your grandparents?" I looked at Beckie, admiring her ginger hair that surrounded her hair like a halo. 

"My parents are shipping me off next week. I will fly on my own. Can you believe that?!" she almost shrieked. 

Well, I can believe that. I thought to myself. Her parents were the exact opposite of mine. They loved to travel. Oh, how much they loved to travel. On their own. Not with Beckie, their only child. 

I wonder where they're off to? 

"And...Maggie! I bet you couldn't sleep anymore! You must be super excited!" we all turned to look at Maggie. 

"Oh you guys...," she beamed, "Do you want to know our itinerary?" 

Before we could say anything else, she started bumbling on, "England-France-Italy-Germany-Switzerland for the first month. And Spain-Portugal-Greece for the second month." 

"Hey, Mags. Don't forget to send us postcards, ok?" Kier blurted, appearing out of nowhere. 

"Oh puh-leez, Kier. We're having our girl chat here. Can you please...disappear?" Maggie called out. 

Kier flashed his sweetest, whitest, smile and I can almost feel my friends' knees wobble. I rolled my eyes. 

"Oh Mags. I'm really serious. We would miss you not being around during summer. Send us those postcards, will you? Or just regularly update your f*******:," he winked at Maggie. 

"Ok, but only if you stop calling me Mags," she smiled. 

"Maggie, will you please keep us updated on your European adventures?" he tried again. 

"Of course, Kier," Maggie grinned. 

"That's better. Ok, girls. Enjoy summer. Gotta run. See you later, Sam!" he waved while walking away. 

I watched as my three friends all turned around to look at Kier. I can almost see the heart icon in their eyes.  

"What a guy," Maggie sighed. 

"What a gentleman," Beckie murmured. 

"What a cutie," Suzy mumbled. 

As if on cue, they all turned to me at the same time. 

"C'mon, admit it, Sam." they all said. 

"Admit what?" I started walking away, knowing all too well where this would end. 

"Do you have a crush on Kier? Please can you just admit it?! We have been crushing on him since our elementary days, Sam! All the girls are! Can you just admit that you like him too?" Maggie asked almost accusingly. 

"Well, I'm so sorry to shatter your illusion, girls. Kier and I grew up together. We both saw each other in nappies. I like him, yes. I like him as a friend. Like I like you three as my friends." I said matter-of-factly. 

"How can you not have a crush on him? on THAT?" Maggie insisted. 

"What do you mean on THAT?" I asked. 

"Oh, Sam. Forget it. Maybe you are really just immune to him," Suzy sighed. 

I continued on walking, thinking of my plans during summer. I've already got some babysitting nights lined up. Apart from that, I don't have any other plans. 

I wonder what Kier will be up to? 

Deep inside me, I was wishing so hard that I hope we can spend our summer together...