It has always been you

Zander

His jaw clenched at the mention of Sophie. Good. f*****g hypocrite. His eyes are burning with rage. I know this, because his eyes are usually as green as the biggest emeralds, but when he's mad, they darken. When he's sad or hurt, the green lightens and they develop little blue flecks almost like the irises themselves are pooling with tears. But now, they are almost black.

He snatches his phone from his back pocket wordlessly and taps at the screen so aggressively I fear his fingers may smash the screen at any given second. A few moments pass and he tosses the phone to the side of me.

"LOOK" he orders.

I defiantly cross my arms, raise my eyebrows and stare at him, a smirk daring to escape from the corners of my mouth. 

"LOOK" he growls again, so loud this time that I feel the hairs on the back of my neck raise.

I roll my eyes at him and grab his phone. I swipe the screen on his phone and it flashes to type in the passcode. 1021 I type, and it unlocks. His grandmothers birthday of course. I can't help but smile knowing I'm the only person in the world who knows the passcode for his phone. But when I state at the screen, my heart is in my throat. My eyes scroll the screen and I see Sophie's name at the top of the screen. The green background around the last message tells me that he was the one who sent it.

"IT'S OVER. I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN. DON'T CALL OR TEXT."

I look up at him.

"That wasn't my point" I whisper. 

He crosses the room and picks up my laptop. He wordlessly adds my signature to the emails I was in the middle of typing before pressing send. he closes the lid on my laptop and places it on my desk before coming to sit at the side of me.

"Zander" he says.

"Dean. I told you. Nothing's going on". I go to stand up but he grabs my arm and pulls me back to the bed.

"I meant before".

I shake my head. No. I'm not exactly sure what he's wanting to know, but knowing this cannot be a good thing.

"You told him you loved him... You've not said that to anyone else" he pauses, and I notice that his eyes begin to lighten, and the blue sparkles begin to show. "You never said it to me"

I rest my head on his shoulder. I love him, of course I do. I'm just not sure if I've ever been in love with him. not like how it was with Zander. 

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**Dean's POV**

I knew in that moment, as she rested her head on my shoulder to comfort me, she didn't love me. and I guess part of my has always known, but realising it now, that I could never compete with the most epic love of her life, I felt myself break.

Savannah and Zanders love was like something from a Nicholas Sparks novel, and I always felt after that I was competing.

It's been almost ten years since we met Savannah. Zander got to her first. I was supposed to be out on patrol with him, but didn't go in favour of a party and f*****g some random girl who I scarcely remember and whos name I never bothered to ask. You can get away with pretty much anything when you're next in line as Alpha. Biggest regret of my life. Zander was the one who jumped into the ice cold river and dragged her out, before carrying her to safety, before bringing her to me, where she truly belongs. But I saw it. over the months that followed. The glances they shared, the way she laughed so easily around him, and I was tossed to the side. second best. Friend zoned. I tried to be everything she wanted, to give her everything she wanted, but it wasn't enough. She wanted him. She didn't care about trying her luck to see if she could bag the alpha before he was crowned like every other woman. Now I'm not saying I didn't use that to my advantage, of course I did, but the fact that she didn't care only made me want her more. But I always held onto the hope that she'd realise she was my mate.

She never did.

It was the night of her seventeenth birthday. By this point they'd been dating for about six months. OK fine. They first started dating five months and thirteen days ago. He'd planned a romantic night with her, and I knew all about it, because as his best friend I'd even helped him plan the f*****g thing. He wanted to take her on a f*****g boat ride down the Diamond Hill Reservoir at sunset. Now don't get me wrong, as beautiful as it is the girl almost drown trying to swim across a f*****g river, and has seemingly been afraid of water ever since. And whilst generally, on the day-to-day Savannah is seemingly low maintenance, I know she craves excitement. Adventure. More than small town life in Providence could ever offer her. 

"Take her to Boston. She grew up dreaming of moving there. There's a lovely Italian restaurant there. You could take her to dinner, go for a walk, visit some museums. She'd like that." And later she'd tell me it was the best day of her life. Of course it was. What she didn't know, was that I knew the moment she arrived back at the pack house. I wasn't there. I was at some dive bar almost numb with whiskey, but I knew. She was my mate. I felt her experiences like they were by own. 

I felt him take her by the hand, and lead her into his room. I could feel his lips on her and mine ached at the assault. I felt the way his hand stroked up her thigh, how he slowly removed her clothing, I felt his breath as if it were at my own neck. I felt him claim her like nobody else before him ever had. It was too much. I ran from the bar, turning full wolf as I headed into the woods, letting out a howl I knew could be heard across state. I'd never felt pain like it before, and hadn't since. I felt like someone had torn out my heart right infront of me and crushed it in their palm. It turned me physically sick. I couldn't bare it. So after I'd gathered myself, I got a driver to take me to Brooklyn, where I knew a Lazzerout witch lived.