Moving Forward Or Falling Behind

Chapter 4

Anya

The following morning I woke up to giggling and the sound of bacon sizzling in a pan. The smell made me nauseous instantly. The hangover taking all my feeling of humanity with it. I rose off the couch and headed into the guest bathroom. In the mirror showing a vague resemblance of who I look like. My hair was a complete rat's nest. My eye make up was smeared down to the middle of my cheek. My face felt oily and slick from sweating out vodka. I turned the water on for a hot shower stripping off my clothes from last night ignoring the different shirt I was wearing with no idea where it came from.

The water woke me up and I felt already better. With a a towel wrapped around me, I took my time to gently erradicate the knots in my hair. My bag with pajama's was still in the bathroom luckily and I found a set to wear out.

The boys and Lee Anne were eating breakfast at the table. On the counter in the kitchen was some toast and a small batch of eggs with a glass of water next to it. My brother smiles at me knowing how I feel right now. Luca is avoiding eye contact all together. Weird...Did something happen last night?

Maybe I was noisy when I came home and woke him up or something. I hardly remember even getting a ride home from the bar.

"Can you watch Lee Anne tonight? We have a gig at Oscar's Bar" Benji asks I nod in agreement slowly eating my breakfast, trying not to give my stomach more reason to hate me.

"We are going to leave around six thirty to head over to set up. Bedtime is around eight thirty so you should have a pretty easy night." Luca says, still not making eye contact.

"Sounds good to me." I eat my toast and my three bites of eggs, sipping on my water in-between. When I am finished I wash my dishes in the sink and go back to the couch. I grab my phone off the floor to check the messages, seeing I missed a few from Devon.

DEV: I feel like s**t BUT I had sooooo much fun with you last night. I hope you don't mind but I gave Kota and Jesse your number this morning. They seemed to think highly of you ;)

ME: It's all good. I had fun last night as well. The boys were nice.

DEV: Well play nice with them later ;)

ME: You're dirty.

More dishes being cleaned caught my attention as Benji finished cleaning pans. Lee Anne went to her room to grab some toys to take to the park with Luca. They headed out quickly leaving Benji and I alone in the house.

Though we have never been very close ever since I went off for school our visits have been way more civil, almost to the point of getting along properly.

"Did you have a good time last night", Benji asks as he places the last pan he washed on top of the stove to air dry.

"I did. Devon and her boyfriend introduced me to some new people. Let loose a little bit. Was a good night. How was your night?" I question. Benji just shrugs mumbles a generic answer of it being a boring night then heads off to his room claiming he was ready for a nap already.

Luca

After the park with Lee Anne I take her to get some ice cream. Then we head home so she can take a nap and maybe I could sneak one in as well. In the car Lee Anne asks when she will see her mom again. I think back to my last conversation with her. "Next weekend Honey. You're going to go to your grandma's house with her for the long weekend."

Natasha will never miss out on a holiday to make her look like a good parent. "Why aren't we living with mommy anymore?" She asks these questions often now and I'm still not sure how to answer. I have officially met natasha's new boyfriend at Easter at the family gathering. She Introduced Beckham too the whole family, mine included. "Do you want to stay with mommy more at the house?" I ask. "Maybe" was all she said. I turn the radio up playing Top 40 hits. I park the car in the driveway and we go inside. Benji's car wasnt parked upfront so I knew he was out and, unless she went with him in the car, Anya was still home.

I take off my shoes at the enterance and look over to the living room. Anya was watcheding her korean show spawled on the couch with a can of pringles. Lee Anne crawled up with her and took a few chip for herself always making herself at home here. I head to the kitchen and get a glass of water watching the girls on the couch.

"Why can't I understand them?" Lee Anne asks.

"They're speaking Korean not English like you speak." Anya answers not taking her eyes off her show. Lee Anne loses interest a few minutes later and goes to her room to play.

I walk over to the living space lean over from behind the couch so I can see her a better.

"How are you feeling?" I ask feeling a little awkward about last night still. With an absent minded telling of love and seeing her half undressed I'm not entirely sure how to act around her. Her phone goes off before she answers. A small smile flashes on her face as she types a quick message out.

" I'm feeling okay. Mostly just tired. Did I bother you last night when I got home? You seem to be avoiding me a little bit. If your upset with me just say so please. I don't remember really even getting home so I'm sorry if I was obnoxious." Her smile is gone, she's having a hard time looking me in the eyes as she apologizes.

"You didn't wake me. Startled me a little bit but no... you were fine last night...I just didn't know how bad your hangover would be and didn't want to bother you while you felt like trash." I give her a small smile, place my hand on her head and ruffle up her hair. She frantically tries to fix it as I head to my room ready to take a quick nap before the show tonight.