Meet The Coach

Lesson 16: Don't Be Hard To Get, Be Hard To Forget

Lesson 16: Don't Be Hard To Get, Be Hard To Forget

Carter ignored my warning and sauntered into my room. He first examined the room then looked at me and then back at the room. "Nice room," he commented.

"Thanks," I mumbled in response. I closed the door and walked to my bed before perching on it.

I began to feel a little uncomfortable. In my life there had only been one boy, whom I wasn't related to, who has stepped into my room and Carter was the second. I wasn't sure what Carter had planned to do but if I knew any better I'd say he's winging it.

"Where did you live before you came here?" He asked curiously.

"Chicago," I answered easily.

"Do you prefer Chicago or here?"

"Here. I don't know. It feels like I belong here but maybe that's because I was born and bred here until I was four."

"You lived here before?" Carter repeated genuinely curious.

"Didn't I just say that?" I pointed out. He smiled crookedly and sat next to me.

"You know that's what I prefer about you. With Mona, I figured out that she wasn't immune to my charms at all. She was just really good at hiding it," he mused.

"I wasn't aware that you were trying to flatter me."

"Exactly."

"Oh c'mon, you would feel better if I crumpled - even a little bit," I mentioned.

Carter ran his fingers through his hair causing the tips to stick up at the end. He pursed his lips and sighed in defeat. "Okay. That's true." I smiled at him and tried not to feel a little bigheaded. "Why's that?"

"For me it's personality, at the end of the day everything about the person you fall in love with is beautiful," I explained.

"I never really thought of it like that," Carter muttered. "So how am I doing personality wise?"

"Better than I originally thought if I'm being honest," I admitted.

"That's alright." Carter started to look around my room a little more and he started to fidget.

"You want to say something," I stated.

"How did you know?" He questioned.

"You're fidgeting. I've noticed that you fidget when you want to say something but you're being held back," I elaborated.

"I'm just wondering. When did it become so easy to talk to you?" He inquired. I shrugged and bit my lip.

"I suppose you're not the only one who thought that. That question came to mind earlier."

"With Mona things became awkward at times..."

"I suppose that's a sign that it wasn't meant to be?" I guessed.

"We weren't. As much as I didn't want to think that when everything escalated. But it's true."

I looked down at my hands momentarily, I twiddled then and looked back up at Carter from underneath my lashes. "You really loved her didn't you?"

"Yeah. You know first love? You realise after a while that you just loved them, you weren't in love with them."

"But it still hurts like a b***h doesn't it?" I reminded. He nodded. There was silence, it was comfortable I could tell that Carter was years back and was thinking about Mona but I refused to go years back and think about Ryder.

"It still hurts you know," he admitted sheepishly.

"What she did?"

"Yeah."

"I know this isn't my place to say but is that - is she - the reason you're a boy toy?" Carter ignored the end of the sentence but nodded nonetheless.

"Yeah. You're right. It might be stupid - "

"It's not stupid. Like I said: it's stupid if you look down on women and think they're meant to be played."

Carter gave me a genuine smile - one of which I hadn't really seen before and I could only wish I could see more of. I smiled back at him and then it struck me. Was he having an actual conversation with me or was trying to deter my mind away from my panic and face it towards his heartbreak?

"And that's what I've been waiting to see."

My smile unfazed and my eyebrows furrowed. "Huh?"

"You are smiling. I didn't like seeing you panic like that - it scared me."

"Who's going to be comfortable with someone who's panicking?"

"It's not that. You've always been on top of your game. You fight back. But you panicked and I was practically helpless," he admitted sheepishly. I shook my head.

"You brought me home," I pointed out.

"Blindly."

"You sang to me. That helped. I forgot about crying and wondered why you were singing the Best Song Ever."

"But you still walked away," he stated. I pursued my lips and picked up a bunch of my strawberry tinted hair.

"I wanted to be alone. I felt pathetic," I voiced softly and looked up at him from underneath my lashes.

"You felt pathetic? I felt like the biggest loser on the face of the earth." I frowned at him.

"Oh c'mon. Don't feel bad - "

"That's practically where I live."

"Carter stop being dumb we both know that's not true," I said. He didn't believe what I had said and neither did he say anything in response. A silence surrounded us quickly and I got the urge to reach out and clasp his hand assuringly.

"It is. I lose Bree. I've lost," he mumbled softly. It seemed a little too often these days that we'll get into a deep conversation. But that didn't bother me. I liked vulnerable Carter.

"What exactly have you lost?" I asked.

"Lost the will to love.," he replied and looked down at his hands.

"Don't say that you love your family and friends -"

"I'm not talking about family and friends Bree. I'm talking about loving a woman. I want to settle." The sound of Carter's voice made my insides crumble. I extended my arm and placed my hand on his.

"You can," I said and give him a smile. I squeezed his hand gently.

"I can't. I just can't," he argued.

I still had my hand resting on his. He looked down at them and I wish I knew what he was thinking right now. He slowly looked up and met my gaze. His stormy eyes were dark but you could just make out a little sheen of light.

"Why?" I said.

"I'm scared she won't love me back," he answered so simply yet so brokenly.

"Of course she will. If it's the one."

"I don't believe in that."

"Well, I believe if you show a woman what true love is, she'll love you back no matter what," I added.

"But she's a woman and I'm just a boy."

"I'd beg to differ once again. Maybe your courting techniques need to be updated and you need to keep your eyes on one woman but look at you now. A boy doesn't say that he wants to settle, a boy doesn't want to stick to one girl. If you are a boy I'd doubt you'll be here with me now."

Again Carter was silent. With his free hand, he began fidgeting but I didn't question it.

"You know why I don't like parties?"

"Why?"

"Because after 6 months of being together with Mona she announced to everyone that it was a joke. She played the womanizer and that she had broken his heart. Most people knew but me. Sandy did tell me once but I refused to believe her," he explained. I let it sink in. I started to dislike this Mona girl more than I knew I should.

"That's horrible..." I trailed. "How could someone do such a thing?"

"She said I was gullible, bigheaded and stupid. Stupid to believe that she ever felt a thing. Yeah she couldn't resist my charms but that couldn't stop her," he continued. "I can't have another girl doing that - especially because I am a player. Another girl might want to play the player. And about Mona, if I knew any better she probably had multiple partners. She's beautiful."

I didn't know what I should say to him. I could assure him all I wanted but was he going to believe me? No, he wasn't. I leaned forward and gave what I never actually thought. A hug. And I wasn't going to admit it aloud but it felt good to be back in his arms.

"Looks deceive don't they?" I said and looked up to him. His arms were limp at his sides first, he wrapped them around me after a moment and rested his chin on his head.

"Not always," he muttered.

"Yeah. So I suppose Mona didn't only scar you then huh?"

"Yeah. But I doubt she cheated on you though."

"Nope." I pulled away so I could look at his face. I raised my hand to brush away a tendril of his hair away. It was the one that annoyed me earlier.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to Bree."

"She pushed me off a dock what else is there to it?"

"What?"

*flashback*

I was running in the dark hurriedly to get back to my cabin to retrieve one last thing. My lucky bracelet. I barely ever took it off and I don't know why I did now but I was just going to get it.

I started to slow down as I walked passed to dock. At night when the moon was just right, there was a glimmering effect on the lake that just took my breath away.

I let a content sigh leave my lips and then remembered that it was my last night here ultimately meaning that I'll never be able to see the sight again.

"Hey, Bree! I just wanted to talk to you before I left," Mona called out to me. I turned to face her, she was sitting on the dock with a big group of friends. I knew time wasn't my best friend at the moment but I knew I would feel bad if I didn't approach her. I turned and walked towards her.

"Hey, Mona. I just wanted to say no hard feelings from the tournament earlier? You were a really good competitor," I said to her remembering the frown on her face when she had lost.

She gave me a big smile that didn't reach her eyes and just glanced at my outstretched hand. "Yeah, I wanted to talk about that." Her previous amiable tone evaporated and was replaced with a snappy cold one.

I arched an eyebrow. "Um okay."

Her friends got up and surrounded me. They all had similar impassive faces on. I suddenly wished I had just run past the dock. "We all know you cheated," they chanted it sync. It irked me how they sounded practised.

"I didn't cheat," I urged forcing my voice to come out strong. I felt myself starting to cower I wasn't too good with people. I'd blame my Dad for that because at times like this it didn't serve me justice.

"Oh c'mon we know you're just a pathetic little wannabe of Mona. Don't deny it," a tall, black haired beauty taunted.

"I'm - I'm n-not," I stuttered pathetically.

"Awww how cute! You're all scared and intimidated, too bad you're a bitch."

"And what's with your hair? Actually, it suits you. You really are that blonde."

"Just like every other bimbo right? Try to make people crumple under your petty charms so you don't look like the bad guy. Oh, you're so stupid."

"And look how short you are! If I didn't know any better I'd tell you to stand up."

"Don't look like that your face is offending me. Oh wait, you normally look like that."

"Ew look at those spots!"

The comments continued. They all felt liked a slap in the face before they started chanting names simultaneously. It was hard to ignore it. My parents did teach me that words don't hurt but to be true they really do.

Bimbo. Dumb. Loser. Blonde. Hideous. Midget. Challenged. Freak. Wannabe. Lowlife. Weirdo.

Was I really all these things? I grabbed a bunch of my long blonde hair and stared at it. I wanted to rip it all off so I wouldn't be blonde and stupid.

I held back my tears and tried not to fall to the ground. I needed my knees to stop buckling. I noticed Mona wasn't participating, instead, she had her arms crossed with her eyes trained on me.

"I promise you, Mona, I didn't cheat," I whispered to her. Her eyes unfocused but they transformed into slits soon afterwards.

"Stop." Mona's voice was calm but firm. Everyone was silent.

"Maybe our words are too harsh," she said. "Well let's show how our actions are harsher." She smiled cruelly and stepped forward. She rested her hands on my shoulders and then pushed me back. A domino effect escalated. After Mona pushed me I was tossed back and forth within the circle. Pain shot from my sides and I soon found that I couldn't breathe easily. My lungs wheezed; I stopped fighting against them.

I ended up tripping maybe by my own foot or someone else's but my head ricocheted off the hard wooden ground. A stab of pain pierced through my head, I sealed my eyes and tried to think of something. Not the horrid names. Not the tortuous girls. And not the pain.

"That's all you could take? Get up and grow a pair. You're so pathetic," Mona spat down to me. I wanted to tell her to go away but I was scared at what she would do. "Can you even not defend yourself?"

I stood up. I couldn't look her straight in the eye because I knew I would start crying. But neither could I meet the gaze of anyone else. I looked down at my feet.

Trying hard to ignore the throb in my head I waited for Mona to speak. She stepped forward and I took a slow step back. The girls rearranged their positions and took forward steps with Mona. "This would teach you not to mess with me." She warned. Again she placed her hands on my shoulders and pushed me back. I hadn't realized that I was so close to the edge of the dock. My balance became unstable and I screamed as I started to fall.

My back hit the water and the girls ran away. I started to splash and scream for help but no one was around and I couldn't swim. The water was a little chilly causing my body to become rigid and my head to slowly dip into the water.

I started to panic. I splashed the water maniacally but nothing helped. I was sinking in the dark, deep water and there was nothing I could do. My lungs started to burn as not oxygen reached me.

I looked around. This was how I was going to die. With no lucky bracelet. Something broke within me but there was nothing I could do. I couldn't swim and no one knew I was here.

Black spots filled my vision before I closed my eyes and passed out.

*end of flashback*

Halfway through Carter embraced me as he can tell that I was getting emotional. He rubbed my back with his hands and remained silent as I spoke.

"That's..." He trailed trying to find the word to explain my tale. Carter started to stroke my hair softly, I could only marvel at the feeling.

"Yeah. I know."

"How did you survive?" He asked.

"Turns out that there was someone near the dock at the time. I practically owe my life to them."

"I knew Mona was bad but..."

"Yeah. Well, it doesn't matter anymore." I said and pulled back so I could look at him. As much as I liked hugging him, I didn't want him to get the wrong idea.

"If it doesn't matter then why isn't your hair blonde anymore?" He inquired curiously.

"Out of habit?" I bluffed. I hadn't thought about going back to blonde? Was I ready?

"Can you swim?"

"I haven't been in water since that night. I'd have a bad feeling whenever I was near a swimming pool. But because of today, I know why the bad feeling was there."

"I suppose it still affects you then."

"It kinda will. The doctors said not until I recovered from it then it'll always affect me. I repressed the memory whilst I was unconscious so when it came to things like my hair I couldn't stand it and I wouldn't know why. So my mom let me dye it slightly," I said and grimaced at the memory of myself trying to cut my hair off before my Mom stopped me.

"What about now?"

"I don't know. I'll have to wait and see."

*

It was the next day. Carter left when I heard my Dad's heavy footsteps come up the stairs. Carter wished me goodnight and kissed me on the forehead before escaping behind my glass door. I could only be left in a daze with my fingertips brushing over where Carter kisses me.

Now Sandy had come over to see if I was okay and to give me my shopping bags.

"Okay, I need a tissue box. I didn't know she was such a bitch." She did have watery eyes. I stretched over to my bedside and picked up my tissue box and passed it to her.

"Here you go Sandy," I said. "So that's the story of my life. I wanted to tell you. It just seemed like I needed to..."

"Awww! I love you too!" Sandy squealed and embraced me tightly. "Well, at least she apologized!"

"Yeah."

"You know it's kinda creepy how it's a small world," Sandy pointed out. I nodded in agreement. "You are Carter are so cute."

"I know right. Who would've thought that the girl who pushed me off a dock would play Carter? And I suppose he was being the cutie, I'm not good at assuring people."

It's a weird world. Despite the cuteness, it's not awkward between you and Carter is it?" She asked. "Though this morning he seemed overly happy..."

"Not really." Mind you I bet we've become closer.

"The Coach thing isn't becoming too much, is it?" She asked suddenly. I arched an eyebrow at the sudden twist of conversation.

"Um. Why?"

"Because I know you're still going to be a bit shaken and whatnot. Carter may be too. And you have practically made him fall for you, do you want to continue with the lessons?"

"Huh," I replied intelligently not at all understanding what she had said.

"Don't make me repeat that."

"Finish the lessons?" That was what I originally wanted but now? They seemed a bit more. I was confused. "I don't know. I think I have a little bit of an attachment to them."

"Okay fine. They continue to be fair I didn't want to stop them just yet."

"Alright."

"Ah yes, you used your own initiative today - yesterday even. Did a lesson all by yourself! Lesson 16: don't be hard to get, be hard to forget."

"Hey, that's stealing!" I protested but I had to admire how Sandy managed to use it not at all not letting it go to waste.

"Oh c'mon it's not like she made it up anyway!"

*

As I packed my mind was filled with conniving thoughts and my heart was attacked by foreign emotions. I couldn't make sense of it. Why was it that the only thing I wanted to do right now is see Carter? Just a glance would make me go sane. Or so I thought.

I bit my lip as I packed yet another bikini with it's matching sundress.

I wasn't developing feelings was I?