TM [Complete ✔️]

30. Nightmare reality

Trigger warning! Mentions of drinking problems, death, and self-harm!

Sofia's P.O.V

I walked around a beautiful forest, the sound of birds chirping and insects buzzing the only thing disturbing the quiet.

My daughter hopped in front of me, stopping to pluck flowers and explore rocks before tucking them into a small bag she'd carried with her.

We continued walking until suddenly, I was alone.

"Lily?" I yelled. "Lily, where are you?" No response. Trying not to panic, I carefully looked around, gaze lingering on thicker bushes and wider trees, but still, there was no sign of her. "Lily?" I screamed, louder this time, until the sound of water being splashed around met my ears.

I ran, following the sound, only to find my little girl with the bag full of rocks tied around her wrist as she tried, and failed, to stay above the water.

"Lily!" I gasped, jumping into the lake. It was cold. Freezing. I trudged through, but no matter how much progress I made, I never made it far enough. I never reached her.

"Mommy, help me!" She cried, tears rolling down her exhaustion-flushed cheeks before she was no longer able to stay above the water, sinking.

"No, Lily!" My voice was hoarse from screaming so much. I could hear her cries, her whimpers, in my head, yet really, she hadn't shown her face since she last went under. I could feel my arms and legs moving, pushing to get to her, yet I couldn't.

Zane's P.O.V

I knocked on the she-wolf's door, hoping I wouldn't have to go inside. The screaming and the whimpers in the middle of the night were all too familiar.

Receiving no answer but the continuous cries echoing in the otherwise silent suite, I carefully pushed the door open, finding Sofia clutching my shirt as if her life depended on it, the fabric bunched beneath her fingertips as it rode up her thigh, exposing some of her lower body.

I walked over, covering her exposed skin with the blanket before taking a closer look at her face. Her brows were bunched up together in fear, sweat dripping down her forehead as she squeezed her eyes shut.

My heart broke for her. I knew the nightmares and I dang well knew what it was like having no one to pull you from them. I wouldn't let her suffer if I could help it.

Except I didn't know how. Rosie was my fiancée, it was easy enough to grab and hold her, to whisper soothing words into her ears after she woke up until she was calm again, but with Sofia, I had no idea what was appropriate and even what I wouldn't feel guilty for doing afterward.

Shaking my head as another scream tore through her lips, I gently shook her.

"Sof, wake up!" I mumbled, running my hands up and down her bare arms all the while trying to ignore the sparks and zaps of our bond as they ignited under my touch.

Finally, a few shakes later, her eyes snapped open, frantically looking around and not recognizing her surroundings until her gaze met mine and she threw her arms around my neck, squeezing. I stiffened under her touch before forcing myself to relax, wrapping my arms around her just enough so she wouldn't feel awkward afterward.

"It feels good, doesn't it?" Zion mumbled with a wolfy smile, trying to make me inhale her scent or bury my head in the crook of her neck. He'd been wary of the second mate bond up until the other day, until he knew she'd put our pup's life before her own, and now that he saw her scared and whimpering in the sheets, he was wrapped around her finger, unfortunately for me. "Oh, come on, Zane, since when have you felt that comfort you do now with anybody other than our little bean?" I froze as I realized he was right, Sofia pulling away, her tear-stricken face on full display, illuminated by the glow of the moon peeking through the open window.

"I'm sorry," she hiccuped, scooting away until her back was plastered against the headboard, "gosh, Zane, I'm so sorry!" Without giving it a second thought, I pulled her back in my arms, the she-wolf breaking down once more, her sobs racking her body.

"It's alright," I soothed, running a hand down her back. "It's alright, it was just a nightmare." She shook her head.

"No, no it wasn't."

Sofia pulled away again, hugging herself.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked.

"I'm sorry for waking you, I-I'll grab a glass of water and let you sleep."

"Sof," I softly called after her as she slipped past me and into the kitchen, grabbing a glass in the dark so I wouldn't see the silent tears still pouring down her face.

Unable to handle it any longer and not knowing what I was doing, I grabbed her waist and pulled her to me, her shocked expression hidden as she laid her forehead against my bare chest.

The position felt too intimate for what we were, yet all I found myself caring about was ending her tears and forcing the smile back onto her face.

"Talk to me," I pleaded as I led her to a chair, making some tea for her before sitting down as well.

"It wasn't just a nightmare, Zane, it was real!" She finally said, taking a deep breath.

"I was sixteen when I met Rowan, just a month after my birthday. I'd never been a social person, so my party and social circle were small, which was why it took a whole month for me to find him after getting Sam." Her words got interrupted by a hiccup or choked sob every once in a while, but I didn't care; I listened, mesmerized by the story she was allowing me to know.

I didn't dare make a peep should she stop.

"He was two years older, said he'd always looked for me, that he knew I was in the pack somewhere but didn't want to look, figuring out I was younger than him and wanting to let me find him on my own." She sniffed. "He was always caring like that, always thinking of others before himself." I rubbed a hand over her trembling one as it held the steaming mug. "Well, when I did find him, he became my world. Despite training to become a warrior, he made sure to pick me up from school and take me home so he knew I'd be safe if another rogue attack were to happen. You're aware they used to be common back then," I nodded, letting her continue, "When my parents were at work, I'd sometimes sneak over to his house and I'd bring food so he'd have dinner to eat after training all day. On the random occasions when he couldn't avoid a close friend's party, he always took me with him, widening my friend group, although both of us preferred being in just the other's company. And sometimes, when he'd get off earlier and I could stay over later, we..." she trailed off, a faraway look in her eyes as blush painted her cheeks.

"My family wasn't loving. They weren't like you and Beyla, they showed you love only if you showed them something in return. I was a good student, I had to be if I wanted my parents to love me, but then I got pregnant with Lily." I felt my heart drop for her. I'd always had wonderful parents, even if I'd grown up around ones who were less than wonderful. I never took them for granted and yet figuring out how far my mom was...

"I couldn't hide it past the second month when my scent began to change. They kicked me out straight away. Well, my mom did, my father was just content to come home to a clean house and a cooked meal, letting her deal with me and my older brother."

"She kicked you out because you were pregnant? By your own mate?" Sof nodded.

It may be unacceptable to be pregnant at that age for the humans but for us werewolves, it was perfectly normal. Our species was created so that after we found our mates, we could secure a family by making our females more fertile during the first year of being marked. I couldn't see why her mother would be so upset.

"I was given an hour to pack my stuff and get out, so I called Rowan and he came to pick me up. I barely made him promise he wouldn't do anything stupid before he stormed in and gave my mother a piece of his mind, yet since I asked him not to, he grumbled quietly as he grabbed my things and led me to his house. It was small but he promised to buy us a better one one day, and no matter the size, it felt more like home than my parents' place ever did." A small smile graced her lips, though she was still crying. Hell, I was barely managing not to cry myself, knowing what it was like to lose the best thing that has ever happened to you.

"In spite of my mother, her cruel words, and how difficult my pregnancy was, I graduated early, a little before our little girl was born. Rowan stayed up with me every night after training to study, I could've never done it without him." The male truly sounded like an angel. I would've shook his hand had he still been alive.

"His family was great. His mom loved her son so dearly and was exquisite to have a granddaughter, as was his father. They were nice to me and offered me advice, sent Lily gifts on holidays and birthdays, sometimes even without occasion," her smile, however small, dimmed, "until the rogue attack that took him from me. Then, the advice turned into criticism and as a young, single mother, who'd never known how one should properly treat their pup, I thought they were right. That without Rowan, I had no idea how to watch and raise my daughter." She took a moment to compose herself, taking a long sip of her long-cold tea.

"I had only trained to become a warrior like my mate, I'd never worked a day in my life when he was killed. I did my best to find a job but," she exhaled loudly, "but I was drowning in guilt and sleepless nights filled with nightmares. Rose healed Lily after I had to leave her outside during the attack and she got sick, but she didn't erase her questions and fears. And my sweet girl asked her questions, each one piercing my heart further, especially when I had to smile and make something up on the spot about how her daddy was in a better place when the best place for him to be was here, by her side, watching her grow, and by mine, so we'd get the wedding he'd promised we'd one day have," she shook her head, eyes full of regret, "we eloped back when I was pregnant," came her explanation seconds later.

"Each night after I put my pup down, I'd drink my weight in alcohol until I eventually passed out. The headache in the mornings grounded me, didn't allow me to think too much of him or what could've been, and I'd manage to get a few minutes or hours of shut-eye." Sofia began scratching at the scars on her wrist until I pulled her hand away.

"Is that when you did these?" She nodded again.

"Slowly but surely, I abandoned my quest to find a job and focused on being the best mom I could be so I'd make up for the fact that she no longer had her father whom she'd adored. That, and I'd drink. I'd drink so much that any money Rowan's family sent would be spent on food for Lily and alcohol for me. I only ate when she had leftovers." She shrugged as if her words weren't breaking my heart for her.

"Two years later, the house had begun to fall apart, appliances were breaking and leaking and I had nothing to fix them with. I finally stopped drinking and took responsibility, grieving in silence without the help of anything to quiet the pain. It was hard but the multiple jobs I took on helped until they began to hurt the only thing I hadn't ruined yet - my daughter. I could tell she knew I was busier than usual, more tired than usual. We could no longer play in the garden or plant flowers, and I'd fall asleep any time she tried to watch a movie with me. So, that summer," more tears poured down her cheeks as she stopped attempting to wipe them away and let them fall. "That summer, her grandma suggested she stay with them. They were two hours away from us, living in a good, spacious house near a lake Lily had loved playing in back when Rowan was still alive to take us. So, even when my heart broke to be all alone in the house, I knew she'd be better off there. As much as it hurt, I was so thankful that all the attention would be on her again, and I was hoping if I took on a few more jobs, I'd pay the debts I'd accumulated, so that when she came home, I'd have just one, normal job, and things would begin to go back to normal, as normal as it could be." There was a giant lump in my throat as I waited for her to continue.

"Apparently, Lily ran out one morning while her grandparents were still sleeping to go play in the lake. She must've accidentally gone in too deep because she," sobs racked her body once again as Sof did her best to get the words out, "she drowned. All alone. Just like in my nightmare."

A/N

Hi, Treasures! Make sure you join my F-a-c-e-b-o-o-k group Teddy's Treasures for extra content and discussions! So, we finally know Sofia's backstory, was it sadder or better than you expected?