TM [Complete ✔️]

31. Confessions

Zane's P.O.V

"Goddess, Sof," I held her as her body shook, my mate trying to keep herself quiet though she so desperately needed someone to allow her to be loud - just this once. "It's not your fault. It was never your fault," I mumbled, holding her tighter as her body slouched, unable to hold her weight any longer.

"If I had pulled myself together like you and-and taken care of her myself," I shook my head before she could finish her sentence.

"I've always said the same; that if only I was as strong as you, then I may be a better father, a better Alpha, a better male, and yet here you are comparing your strength to mine. Sof," I lifted her chin until her tear-filled eyes had nowhere to look but into mine, "you lost your husband! That's the hardest thing you could go through, and yet despite you not eating, despite the scars, the drinking, the pain, you were there! You were there for your daughter, filling the space of both mother and father and you should be proud of yourself for it! The only reason she wasn't with you is because you were strong enough to realize things needed to change - so you'd be better for her! Accidents happen! Perhaps if you hadn't left her, she'd be alive, but you'd still be exhausted and feeling like you weren't enough; or maybe, if her grandparents had heard her leave, if they had secured the house so she wouldn't be able to," I removed a strand of hair away from her face, "there will always be thousands of ifs, but the reality is one, and Sof, as hard as it is, you're accepting it every time you smile and laugh, every time you show up for work!"

"It's fake," she confessed, looking up at me, "the smiles, the laughs, they're all fake - just like me! I've accepted nothing, Zane! The only reason I was upset my house burned down was because my memory box was in there, otherwise, I would've long since burnt it myself. I hated coming home to an empty house more than anything." Before I could realize what I was doing, what I was saying, the words had tumbled out, "You're free to stay here for as long as you want."

For some reason, the thought of her staying didn't make me uneasy. I didn't hate the idea of her being here, not anymore. Not after I'd learned her strengths, the very same ones she thought of as her weaknesses, and realized she was right when she told me I was blind to not see the similarities between us.

"I can stay as long as I want, but the truth is, Zane, one day you'll pull away again and I'd have to go back to living on my own, and I couldn't handle that." She pulled away before I could stop her, my feet jumping off the barstool and running after her.

"Do you want to know why I was so scared of the attack? Why the first thing I thought of when the rogues attacked you in front of the suite was that it was because of Beyla?" I didn't know why I was sharing my biggest secret with someone I barely knew, though that was now a lie. I knew Sofia more than she wanted me to know her, something pushing me to give her the same.

She sat on the sofa of my living room, the area connected to the kitchen, and waited until I followed.

"Just promise me you won't tell anybody, not even your friend."

"Greg?" She asked, wiping her eyes despite how futile the effort was. "I won't, I promise. Not to him or anyone else." I nodded in thanks, anxiety flowing through every nerve ending to even my fingertips as I cautiously looked around, knowing deep down no one would hear us.

"Beyla's not like the others, like her mom wasn't just a wolf."

"She's a healer?" Sofia gasped quietly, making me shake my head.

"No, she's not, those are only born every one hundred and fifty years, as the prophecy suggests. She's something... Different." The she-wolf's eyes were wide as she looked back to the door behind which my pup was peacefully resting. "Apparently, Knox and Rosie's mother found some things out but shared them only with my mom before she was killed. I only found out after my pup was born but from what my mom said, Beyla would be able to predict the future." I swallowed harshly, the other part of that sentence still hurting despite the passed time. "Rosie had weird dreams of the future that came from her. She predicted her mom's death and neither Rosie, nor I could do anything about it as we forgot each dream after it happened." Sofia couldn't hide her gasp.

"As a girl, before she received her wolf, my little bean will be at one with nature and have a very strong relationship with the outside. It's been reported that the female pups of healers are calmest around herbs, plants, and flowers. She's also meant to have a strong relationship with the Moon Goddess, being blessed by her to tell when a wolf is suffering, whether that be mentally or physically, and they can pick up on emotions from a young age. And the scariest part? I thought that maybe it was all a coincidence or some kind of bullshit but," I shook my head, "Beyla's already showing signs."

Sof ran a gentle hand down my arm, the action oddly soothing against my bare skin.

"I could help with the herbs part, expose her to plants and flowers early so she knows which ones to stay away from," she suggested as the corner of my lips lifted into a small smile.

"I don't want her to know. I want to just ignore it all for the next fifteen years until she has her wolf and the nightmare is finally over. I hate that I could turn into Rose's so-called father and use my pup for the benefit of the pack, I hate that others might come for her to exploit her abilities, and I hate that I may lose her just like I lost her mom." A tear slipped down my cheek as Sofia laid her head against my shoulder, my eyes closing for a second.

I was getting too comfortable and I knew it, yet saying the words, my fears, out loud, and having someone to actually listen...

"I know it's hard but don't for a second think you're anything like Esteban! He was a monster even back when I was still there, and even at your worst, you've never been half as bad as him. I know you're scared, believe me, if Lily had tried to become a warrior, I would've been terrified to lose her like I lost her dad, but shielding her from herself isn't the way to help her, Zane! I'm in no way trying to parent your daughter, all I'm saying is she could do so much good and feel so confident in herself if she knows what a gift she's been given. Also, not allowing someone to know what danger they're in isn't protecting them, it's putting them in more danger."

"You think so?" I lifted my gaze to hers, watching as she nodded before I buried my head in my hands, loudly exhaling. "What am I gonna do, Sof? I have no idea how to help her, or keep her safe!"

The she-wolf pulled my hands away from my face, loosely holding one as if I would pull away. I should, I knew I should, yet I couldn't find the strength to do so when someone was allowing me to draw from theirs after months of relying solely on myself.

"For starters, you're going to love her just as strongly as you do now, and you'll take a few deep breaths. Then, you're going to realize that the whole pack, me included, would gladly lay our lives down to keep that little girl safe."

"It wasn't enough once," I shut my eyes before I could start crying. I could no longer allow it of myself, not when I finally discovered how to be strong.

"It was! Rose's choice was her own, it didn't come from the pack not protecting her, it came out of her desire to do it for them." I nodded, deep down knowing she was right but needing a little bit of time to admit it.

Only when Sof pulled her hand away from mine did I realize she'd still been holding it. It seemed she'd only just realized it too, setting it down before jumping off the couch as if it burned her.

"We have a lot of work tomorrow, we should probably get some sleep," she muttered, her gaze jumping frantically from me to her door.

"Yeah..." I just needed to get up, go to my bedroom, and sleep before I had an entire day of work, same as she did. So why did I not want to move?

Had I been that deprived of touch and conversation that one of each threw all my caution out the window?

"I'll go now," Sofia added, taking a single step before stopping again.

"Yeah, goodnight, Sof!" I stood up, the she-wolf quickly running to her room and closing the door shut as I stood and watched before going to my own room and not receiving a moment of sleep more.

***

I jumped out of bed as soon as I heard my pup stir awake, not that I had been waiting for her to do so, so I'd be able to use it as an excuse to finally leave my room.

After talking to Sofia, I couldn't manage to go to sleep again no matter how much I tossed and turned, even knowing I'd deeply regret it the next day.

The conversation had left me with too many thoughts, both of what we'd talked about and just her. Her personality, her pain, her happy places; the more I got to know her, the more I wanted to continue. It was a dangerous territory I was threading, one I couldn't help but watch fade away. I may have clung to it like a lifeline before, but after yesterday, after how good it felt to talk to someone who could talk back and wasn't eleven months old or having work-related conversations, I knew I wouldn't be able to live the rest of my life the way I had been.

And perhaps not today or tomorrow, but someday, when we were ready, we might be more than just roommates with weird tension.

I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand as I rushed over to my little girl, wanting to get to her before she began to cry and woke Sofia up.

After the hard night she'd had, I wanted to allow her a bit more rest before she had to face the world again.

I opened the door to Beyla's room, a wide smile overtaking my face as I saw my pup. She was the only one who could make me smile that way and the only one who smiled back just as wide.

Her teeth were on display as she grinned, pulling herself to a sitting position as she held onto the crib, waiting for me to pick her up.

I held her in my arms, placing kisses on her forehead, cheeks, and chubby neck as she giggled, grabbing at my hair.

When we were done greeting each other, and one of us had their diaper changed, I set her down on the soft rug in the living room, knocking over the box of toys I had stashed there for her and allowing her to choose which ones she wanted to play with first as I went to start breakfast. Wondering what to make Sofia since I had no idea what she liked but wanted to do something nice for her since she opened up to me, and couldn't cook for the life of her, I took out the carton of eggs and the bacon, mimicking the breakfast she'd tried to make yesterday.

She wouldn't have made it if she herself didn't like it, so it was a sure way to give her something she liked.

And my daughter and I didn't hate it, either.

I threw quick glances at Beyla as I cooked, always worried that with her crawling and trying to walk, she'd bump her head against a sharp corner.

I had installed safety measures but one could never be too sure.

Once I was done making breakfast, I made my little bean a bottle and cut up some of the bacon and eggs before plopping her down into the chair and sipping my coffee as I waited for Sofia, not wanting her to eat alone like she had been all these years.

Except my daughter was done eating, her high chair was cleaned, she was fed and playing again, the food had long since gone cold and the she-wolf was nowhere to be found, her link closed.

I glanced at the door one last time before I dug in, ate my eggs and bacon, got dressed, changed Beyla once again, and welcomed the nanny as I couldn't procrastinate work any longer.

I knocked on Sofia's door, carrying a tray with the warmed-up breakfast and a fresh coffee, as well as some juice, since I had no clue what she liked, and went to leave it on the nightstand before I saw her - wide awake and trying to act like she wasn't.

A/N

Hi, Treasures! Make sure you join my F-a-c-e-b-o-o-k group Teddy's Treasures for extra content and discussions! Why didn't Sofia go out for breakfast?