TM [Complete ✔️]

4. Friend

Zane's P.O.V

I stormed into the pack house, heaving for air as I practically ran the distance from my mother's cottage to the house with a car seat in hand, not stopping even for a second in case she decided to chase after me.

Luckily, she didn't.

Pack members stared at me as I stormed down the corridors, some with pity, others with fear. I was a sight for sure, but their opinions hardly mattered enough to make me conceal my anger.

I quickly unlocked the door to my suite, put my daughter's car seat on the ground, and locked the door; the new one after Knox knocked my old one off its hinges after I left the key in the keyhole so no one could try and enter.

I had no doubt my Alpha made sure to get a key for himself in case he or his mate thought I was doing something stupid, or if I simply denied them entrance again.

My fist flew into the door, pain radiating through my hand as I panted.

If Rosie and I had known about the dangers to our pup, If only the information dropped into the wrong hands, we wouldn't have gone anywhere during her pregnancy. Hell, we most definitely wouldn't have gone to Santorini, to the humans, with only two guards and a target on our backs.

If we knew, I would've taken so many precautions to ensure both Beyla and her mommy's safety, yet secrets, to my mother, were apparently more important.

I shuddered at the thought of what could've happened. Of what could still happen.

I picked up my crying pup, gently rubbing her back and pacing around the room. Slowly, I could feel my anger vanish, her newborn scent and soft skin calming me down.

When it was gone, I almost missed how it felt to be anything other than in pain. When I was angry, it felt different. It was an emotion I hadn't felt in so long that it felt foreign, and as much as I hated foreign, the break from sorrow only made it that much worse now.

The familiar weight against my chest, the knot in my stomach, the burning prickling in my eyes, and the readiness to release yet another flood I'd register to be embarrassed by later.

I continued rubbing my little bean's back, her head resting against my shoulder. Slowly, I watched her eyes flutter shut and heard the faint sounds she'd make whenever she was asleep.

If there was one good thing about any of this - it was her. The fact that she was here.

I knew that dark thoughts were the last thing I needed to force upon myself but I couldn't stop them from filtering in regardless. If Rose and I had known, would we have still had a pup? Would we have still dreamt about having a family or would it have become a fear of ours?

Would it have been better that way?

Looking at my bean's small body now, I couldn't tell. She was the only light in my darkness of existence, and yet the thought of something happening to her...

The thought of her being used or kidn*pped for her abilities made my heart hammer against my chest.

She's okay. She's alive. She's safe. No one knows.

My mother may have hidden the truth from Rosie and me, but she also hid it from everybody else for years, and remembering the love with which she cuddled the pup, she would continue to hide it.

That, however, didn't mean I'd pick up the twenty-four missed calls I'd gotten just in the past forty minutes, nor would it make me open the door she was currently pounding against.

"Zane, open the door!" She banged, her voice laced with a desperate plea. "Please, honey, let me explain!"

Tuning her out, I went to my bedroom and set my little bean down, giving her scrunching forehead a gentle kiss.

I attempted to smile, wanting just the tiniest lift at the corners of my lips but the muscles in my face not allowing it. No matter how hard I'd try, it was as if the act was so foreign to my body that I'd forgotten how to do it.

I shook my head and dropped the matter, hoping that one day my daughter would be able to see her father smile, at least once, so she wouldn't remember me as a grumpy creep when I'm gone.

I walked back to the living room, stepping on crunched glass, scattered papers, picture frames, and whatever else I'd destroyed in my desperation to feel anything but the need to die.

I guess I had one thing to thank my mother for. My mother, who was still trying to knock my door down, after all.

"Zane, please!" She tried again. "You're the only one I have left, honey! You and Beyla! I know I made a mistake and that I broke your trust but just let me try to fix it! Let me try to help, with anything! Please," she continued, making my ears ring until I slumped to the ground, my back resting against the back of the sofa while my head was on the cushion, hands over my ears, hoping she'd just go away.

"I'm tired," I mumbled, knowing she could hear me. And it was only half a lie because I really was. Mentally, and physically, of life; I felt tired in every aspect of the word.

"Okay, sweetheart! Okay. Just call me later, alright?" She waited for a reply for Goddesses knows how long before she was finally gone, allowing me to uncover my ears.

Yet I stayed there, on the floor on piles of trash and broken dreams, staring off into everything and nothing at all until the sound of my door being unlocked finally made my gaze focus.

And there she was - my Luna. Standing at my very unlocked door with a key to it in her hand, staring down at me.

I knew those two had a key but didn't think they'd use it for a while.

"You broke into my suite." I pointed out, annoyed with her silence as she stood and assessed every inch of the place, of me. Her nose was bunched up slightly, her throat having a hard time swallowing. And when her gaze landed back on me, it was filled with pity once more.

"Technically, I unlocked the door." She replied.

"With a key I didn't allow you to have." I reminded her before we went quiet again.

We never used to be quiet with each other. Mostly because I always had something to say and didn't mind others' silence if they preferred to listen rather than talk. Now, however, we were both listeners with nothing to listen to but a feeling of loneliness creeping up my spine.

I lost my mate three weeks ago but I kept losing more each day.

There goes my childhood friend right on the ever-growing list.

She walked over to the sink, careful not to cut herself, and brought the sleeves of her white sweater up to her elbows, getting ready to wash the dishes for me.

"Don't!" I warned. "Don't clean," I repeated, attempting to soften my voice.

"I don't mind, I can help." I shook my head again.

"It used to really annoy Rosie when I'd leave my stuff everywhere." I breathed out a chuckle, and though fake, it was my first one in almost a month and felt weird to the throat. "Goddess she'd go mad, telling me clothes deserved to be in their rightful spaces," I explained, referring to the piles of clothing spread around. If only she looked into the other rooms, she'd find a similar mess in them too. "And the dishes," I pointed back to the full sink that first gathered my friend's attention, "she hated the smell of dirty dishes so bad, hated the feel of wet food on her hands as she washed them even more."

I fought off the waves of tears threatening to spill from my eyes. I hadn't allowed myself to talk about my mate for fear of how much it would hurt, but if it hurt regardless, then I could at least remember and spite her when I had the energy.

Dali sat next to me on the floor and rested her back against the couch, imitating my position.

"Zane-"

"This," I looked around the room, interrupting her before I lost my nerve, "this would've made her so mad. Maybe, maybe if I made her mad enough she'll come back to me." Dali put a hand on my knee, probably in an attempt to comfort me.

"Zane,"

"I know. It's stupid and I'm insane but-but maybe in my dreams, maybe she'd yell at me to clean up, to not leave our place in shambles just because she's," I gulped, "gone."

"Zane," she started again, waiting until I interrupted her, but I didn't, "Rosie can come visit your dreams for way more than to yell at you. Wouldn't you prefer to have her for a happy dream instead of one where she's angry? If you know this will make her mad, and that it would make you feel bad to live in such environment, fix it!" I hung my head and shut my eyes close, finally allowing the wall to break and the tears to spill.

"I can't," I whispered. "I just, touching stuff and doing chores that we used to do together," tears fell down my cheeks, through my closed eyes, not allowing me to see as D pulled me into a hug and held me as I broke down.

"Let me, okay? I don't mind helping." She patted my back one last time before she jumped up, straight to the sink piled with dirty dishes, and began to wash them as I rubbed my eyes.

"You don't have to." I rasped, recognizing both how grateful and ashamed I was.

"I know," she said, "but I want to help. You're my friend, right? If you're struggling then both Knox and I are happy to take some of the load off."

She had started less than a full minute ago and already I could see at least one of the counters begin to clear of my mess. "And besides, I used to clean daily and not because I wanted to, so..." she trailed off, seeming a million miles away for a second before the fake smile was back on her face.

"Does this," I looked around at the broken furniture, at the smashed glass and objects, "does it remind you of that place?" She stiffened but shook her head.

"No. The broken glass is a little triggering but I-I learned to get better at managing my triggers. I'm fine, don't worry."

She had gotten stronger and if I could find it in me, I'd hug her again just for how proud I was of her progress.

Instead, I let the silence stretch around us once more until the sink was shut off and all the dishes were washed, dried, and back in their spot.

"When was the last time you ate?" She asked, rummaging through my refrigerator and finding nothing but emptiness and expired food, along with a few meals in boxes pack members had gifted me at the funeral, which were too going bad now.

I shrugged.

"Well, your mom dropped off a fresh, warm lasagna for you and asked me to make sure you ate something," she explained, taking the lasagna out of a box I hadn't noticed she carried inside, and put it on a plate, then brought over along with a fork to me on the ground, "here."

I picked around the plate before setting it back down, my stomach rumbling in protest.

My stomach required food but the thought of my mouth getting any made me nauseous.

"Zane!" My Luna scolded, fitting perfectly into her role. "You have to eat if you want Beyla to have a functioning parent! If you don't like this I could make you something else?" I shook my head, grabbing the plate back and shoving a forkful into my mouth.

It didn't taste as horrible as I imagined but it also tasted like nothing, too.

She let me eat in silence as she went around cleaning up, sweeping all of the glass and trash off the floor and putting the clothes in the laundry machine before my little bean's cries echoed off the walls.

"I got it, eat!" Dali cut me off as I tried to get up. Obediently and only because she was one of my best friends and really helped out today, I sat back down and continued picking through the food.

A gasp left my friend's lips, covered by my daughter's fussing but not loud enough so I wouldn't hear. I knew she saw the plastic bags covering my bed, only fuelling my shame further.

Before long she had Beyla calm over her shoulder with a blanket covering her small frame.

"I don't suppose you want the windows opened in there?" She asked, my head frantically shaking 'no'. "You're going to have to get some fresh air in unless you want both of you to suffocate from lack of oxygen," Dali stated, though there was no judgment in her tone, just concern.

"I know," I replied before there was a knock on the door.

"Love?" Knox called. Dali opened the door, letting her mate in before shutting it behind him. If he was surprised by how clean the place looked, he didn't show it. "What happened?" Confused, my friend looked from me back to her mate, wondering what he meant.

"Love, we had a meeting with Paisley and Shawn, remember?"

"Shoot, I'm so sorry!" Dali began to ramble out apology after apology, giving me enough of an urge to get up and cut her off.

"My fault. She stayed to clean after my messes and make sure I ate, I'm sorry for holding her up."

"Zane, no!" Dali turned to me.

"It's okay, you can't correct me if I'm telling the truth," I grabbed my baby, adjusting her so she'd be comfortable in my arms, "go, I've got it."

Knox gave me a small, forced smile, pinched Beyla's cheek, and began urging his mate to the door, letting her lead the way before he turned to me.

"Zane, stay strong, buddy, revenge is near, okay?" And then he was gone, leaving my mind running.

Revenge may be close but I had little interest in it. It wouldn't bring my mate back, nor turn back time and make sure everything went how it was supposed to. Besides, it meant violence and vengeance I wasn't sure I wanted around my pup, yet despite the alarm bells ringing in my mind, I couldn't help but crave it just a little.

A/N

Hi, Treasures! Make sure you join my F-a-c-e-b-o-o-k group Teddy's Treasures for extra content and discussions! Apparently, I can not write a normal-sized chapter for this book to save my life and they all have to be 500 words above my usual ones, so hope you still like them. What revenge was Knox speaking about, any theories?