TM [Complete ✔️]

21. Training

Sofia's P.O.V

Zane hasn't spoken to me in five months. While the bond between us has been settling, day by day growing stronger and more painful to ignore, the only times I'd hear his voice were when he was giving orders or grunting as he pushed his body past its limits.

That night after our fight, I'd been so numb the tears came hours later, and when they began, there had been no stopping them until my eyes grew so puffy it hurt to keep them open.

I stayed in bed for the whole next day, having only gotten up when my doorbell rang. There was no one in front of my door but a basket of first aid kit and ointments - ointments for a bruise that had long since healed.

I had no doubt in my mind they were from Zane.

I only felt worse after.

Little did I know that that was only the beginning of both of our suffering. At least I selfishly liked to assume we both were, though unlike me, Zane looked no different.

No different despite the muscle he's put on.

While I pulled myself together outwardly and went back to work as if I had any idea what my future would look like, while I cut down on food because the silence in my tiny cottage rang too loud in my ears, while longing gazes became sleepless nights, Zane was at the training grounds.

Day and night my mate worked until the air had completely left his lungs, until his knees and legs were shaking and his body was dripping with sweat, until he was near passed out from how hard he'd pushed himself, only to get rid of me.

Soon, it was coming and it was coming so very soon.

Time was running out for me and Sam to prepare ourselves for one of the most horrible pains a wolf could go through - only less painful than what we've already gone through.

Perhaps we wouldn't make it. Zane was an Alpha, making our bonds one of the strongest and most intense, even without us marking each other. Maybe Sam and I would finally let go and she'd get to be paired with a better human, given a better fate.

Maybe I'd be reunited with my little family and I wouldn't have to wonder what my future would look like.

I've been angry at him more times than I could think. The day he found out when he accidentally bruised my arm, that same day when he said I didn't love Rowan enough, that night when I lay numb in my bed, a couple of times over the past months for opening new wounds despite there not being space on my body for them.

But how could I stay mad when all I wanted was a conversation? When I yearned to have someone to talk to about my day, to fall asleep next to and hold me after a nightmare? How could I keep being angry at the male when all my wolf and I wanted was a chance?

The situation was hard enough without making it harder on myself.

Perhaps I wanted this bond and perhaps that made me a horrible mate and mother but for once in my life I was going to put my heart first.

Even if it meant stopping it in the process.

***

The pack was doing so much better with Zane as it's Alpha. Females were now all required to train for basic defense, and those of us who wished could train and fight right alongside the males just as it was being done by the Blood Moon pack and Alpha Knox.

When I moved here, I'd wanted to train myself and my wolf again after I started picking the pieces of my shattered life up, but it was frowned upon and many mocked me for even trying.

There was none of that, now. It was as if I was living in an entirely new pack, everyone having learned to be, or at least pretend to be, respectful to the others.

I decided to keep training even after I graduated from the beginner's course, having trained a bunch before Rowan passed away.

As I walked to the training grounds, the familiar chaos of voices and grunts meeting my ears, the sound of his voice was clearer than any other.

Baby Beyla and her nanny were sitting on a picnic blanket on the grass next to a sweaty Zane, the little girl cooing and smiling as the elderly woman showed her some of her toys.

I smiled as I watched, my heart clenching at the distance between us. I loved pups, I always had, as I had always felt a connection to Beyla. Perhaps it was because I met her when she was so little and got to watch her grow up, or maybe it was because I was technically bonded to her father, but not even being able to coo or smile at her always did break my heart.

Zane wanted me nowhere near her ever since our fight, so that was the end of getting to babysit her.

Zane's eyes snapped up to meet mine, his gaze hardening ever so slightly as he saw who I'd been smiling at.

The corners of my mouth lifted into a sad attempt of a smile before he turned his back to me and continued with his workout, making me sigh as I went to start with mine, my mind wandering.

Before I knew it, the human part of today's training was over, Sam coming forward and shifting into paws.

She was a beautiful wolf - light beige with a white underbelly and eyes between blue and gray. She wasn't large but also wasn't small, though she was fast and moved quietly.

Zane's wolf, whose name I'd overheard was Zion when he was introduced to the pack, would sometimes glance our way, Sam always making sure to keep herself extra clean and her steps elegant and efficient whenever he was around.

We'd both get disappointed in the end.

Zane's P.O.V

"She's a beautiful wolf," Zion observed, as he always did, throwing a random compliment or good trait the she-wolf had into my mind or mid-conversation.

"Stop it!" I huffed, letting another small part of my control go and allowing him to have it.

He yipped, the signal the pack members were waiting for before they began to circle and asses each other, some throwing themselves straight into a fight.

We watched, Ezra, Enzo, and I, making sure to link the wolves on what they were doing wrong and what their strengths were.

Sofia, much to Zion's satisfaction, was winning. She had been a couple of weeks in a row now, making sure to glance our way whenever her opponent yielded. Zion and I looked away each time.

Leaving the Gamma pair to do their thing, Zion ran off, pushing our body past its limits. We've been trying to run to the nearest border, about an eleven laps kind of run for the others, taking hours because our body was still too weak, too broken by losing our mate.

I didn't mind the long runs or workout sessions, though. I sometimes even let Zion do them on his own, hiding away for a bit of peace and quiet.

Being a month away from having a one-year-old and still heavily dealing with grief, which was only worsening by the impending anniversary of my wife's death, there wasn't much silence.

Not in my head, anyway.

Not even when I'm stuck, unable to sleep while the whole pack was snoring away and it seemed like even the wind had settled.

Training was the only time I could let go.

After finding out about Sofia's secret, I threw myself into it so I'd be able to reject her as fast as possible. I spent hours upon hours neglecting my work, my needs, leaving my pup with the nanny just so I'd be able to do so.

I punched punching bags until their stuffing was at my feet and my knuckles were either broken or bleeding and blue. I ran until I felt lightheaded with my lungs burning so bad I wondered if perhaps that was it. I lifted weights until I was shaking so badly I couldn't lift my arms, or walk, and through it all, the initial goal got lost.

I got lost.

I didn't know how much change a person could go through in less than a year but I was constantly surpassing my own records.

I had no idea who I was anymore. No idea where the father ended, where the Alpha resided, or where Zane began. I had no idea how to be in my own head without wanting to chop it off, nor what to do to fix that.

So, the next best thing was to use my wolf's healing to abuse my body.

Ziong's legs buckled as he tripped over a large rock, jarring me out of my thoughts. He ground his teeth against the pain before shaking it off, taking a deep breath, and turning around.

"What are you doing?" I snapped. "That was only halfway!"

"Do the rest yourself!" My wolf snapped. "Not even Knox and Kane made us suffer this much!" He attempted to force me to shift back into human form, making me work hard to keep where I was.

"Well, you're not Knox's wolf and we're not who we used to be back then, so go finish the run!"

"You know what," he growled, finally managing to force me into my body, "I don't even recognize you anymore! I wish I never came back!"

"Yeah, we'll I wish you never came back, either!"

The words tumbled out like poison out of a vile, but I couldn't even process my mistake before he was gone again, my head filled with the type of silence only he could leave.

Huffing, I got up, finding shorts in a nearby tree left for this exact situation, and continued my run, blissfully ignoring my surroundings, unwilling to deal with whatever mess Zion created.

If he'd had enough of being with me in just some short months, he couldn't possibly imagine what it was like when he abandoned me! He could deal with it and try to understand or crawl back into my mind and stay there.

All he did was observe his new 'mate' while I was stuck picking up the pieces our wife left, anyway!

I was pretty far out into the woods when I caught it, a scent that didn't belong to one of Silver Claws' pack members.

Stopping mid-run, I took quiet, measured steps, sniffing for the odd smell, sidestepping twigs, and hiding behind trees just in case.

The further I walked, the more rotten things felt. The scent was getting stronger, making me believe there were multiple, and my head was pounding with mind links I kept having to block so I wouldn't be distracted if I was right.

If what I was scenting really were rogues...

A twig, not crunched by me, snapped, making me whirl around to find a brown wolf with his hackles raised, ready to attack.

I tried shifting into my own wolf, but of course, Zion just had to have his strongest block at this exact moment, not allowing me to do anything but fight in my human form.

Or not.

What was probably ten other decently sized wolves came from all around me, circling me like prey.

"I need back up towards the western border!" I linked Enzo.

"Ezra, get the females and pups to safety, there was a breach at one of the borders! After everyone's safe, get your most trusted warriors and head after your mate!" I threw off task after task, my mind used to working in such ways during stressful situations by now.

"Alpha!" Ezra's panicked voice filled my head. "It's not just that border, they're here too and two of our other borders are swarmed as well, only the northern one hasn't had activity yet! We couldn't get a hold of you and..."

"Where's my daughter?" I asked through clenched teeth, my stomach tightening into a knot as I waited with bated breath.

"s**t," he cursed lowly, emitting a loud growl from my throat.

"Where. Is. She. Gamma?" I seethed.

Silence trickled between our links, making my hands sweat as I spun in circles around the twelve, I knew after counting them, rogues around me, their wolves grinning as they waited to finish me off.

"The nanny..."

"What about her, Ezra!"

"She's bleeding on the blanket where she was with the pup but I don't see your daughter." My heart fell, beating so quickly I couldn't breathe.

A/N

Hi, Treasures! Make sure you join my F-a-c-e-b-o-o-k group Teddy's Treasures for extra content and discussions! Where's Beyla? Do you think she's safe?