TM [Complete ✔️]

12. Farewell

Zane's P.O.V

I woke up before my set alarm, feeling even number than what had become the new normalcy for me. I sighed exhaustedly as I glanced toward my daughter, lucky to find her asleep so I'd have time to get ready. As much as I didn't want to, I had to look presentable as I said goodbye to my old pack and met the new one.

I carefully tiptoed to the bathroom, slicking my hair back and brushing my teeth before I put on the only clothes I had left unpacked - a sage green shirt Rosie had bought for me, leaving the top few buttons open, so as to relieve the feeling of suffocation in my chest, and rolled the sleeves up to my elbows for practicality, opting for a pair of simple black pants.

Hearing Beyla start to fuss, I only wanted a quick glance in the mirror but froze in horror at what I saw, instead.

A pain so sharp stabbed my chest I nearly toppled over, having to hold onto the nearby desk for support only to push off of it a moment later, tugging my top away like a man possessed.

No.

I knew the day would come, yet hadn't allowed even the mere thought to pass through my mind. Perhaps I should've. Perhaps then, it wouldn't come as such a shocker to see it fading away to nothingness on my skin...

My mark - our mark - was almost gone. I got as close as I could to the mirror without bumping my nose into it, staring at the gift of trust my mate had once marked me with.

Without it, I'd have no traces of her on my skin, and later, once the cells were replaced by new ones, it would be as if she'd never touched me, never felt me.

I ran a hand over the fading mark, hating my body for no longer reacting.

"Come on!" I shouted in frustration, digging my nails into it until hot blood spilled down my fingers. "Anything!" I finally pleaded, knowing no matter what I did, I wouldn't feel the sparks, I'd never again be enveloped in the warm embrace of her love.

Now, it was just skin.

And so I stared. At the drying blood, at the tear slipping down my cheek, at my dirty hands, focused my gaze specifically on that one spot between my neck and shoulder that I now hated more than anything in the world.

And I felt nothing.

It was as if the hole of despair had finally swallowed me whole, and taken the edge and the rope with it.

For a while I just sat in front of the mirror, unable to move as I listened to my little girl cry, knowing she needed a better father than me.

Realizing that she deserved a life far better than this one...

Numbly, I washed my hands in the bathroom sink until there were no more flakes of blood under my nails, and picked her up, packing up the bottles I'd stored in the fridge into her diaper bag before I laid her in her car seat and carried her straight to Dali.

To someone who could, at least at the moment, take care of her needs.

I couldn't bare to face my friend, let her see that I'd once again fallen apart after she'd spent so long trying to pick up the pieces, so like a coward, I banged on the door of her bedroom, where she and her mate were probably getting ready, and ran as soon as I heard the approaching footsteps.

When I heard the door close again behind her, and made sure she'd taken Beyla with her, I left.

***

Minutes later I was sitting in the tattoo artist's studio, the male sending me worried glances as he prepared his equipment.

He'd never tattooed a mate mark before, though others had too asked it of him, he said. At least, not in the spot where it had been.

Not where a wolf was most sensitive.

But I didn't care, so here we were.

Time passed weirdly today, I noticed as he disinfected the spot. It went either too slow or too fast but never normally.

I'd blink and the artist would've moved to the other end of the studio, handling an entirely different task, or I'd stare off into a random spot, stuck in my thoughts, only to realise no time had passed at all.

So, when the needle pierced my skin, I wasn't surprised I hadn't anticipated, or seen it. The pain was excruciating, unlike anything I'd ever felt before.

It's as if not one but a hundred needles were going through my body, yet I welcomed it. I welcomed it even as my knees began to shake, sweat beaded down my skin and my jaw hurt from how hard I clenched it. I was pretty sure I chipped a tooth, too.

"It's finished." The male said, keeping conversations to a minimum, for mine or his sake, I didn't care to know.

I was already late to my own send-off but I didn't bother to hurry on my way back. The pack, the place, they'd be rid of me soon enough. I'd miss it, yet I wasn't sure anyone besides Dali, Knox, and my mom would care that I was gone.

When I finally made my way to the pack house, I was surprised to see the crowd, or more so the size of it. I knew there would be wolves beside my family and friends but I never expected more than half of the pack to show up.

I didn't know how it was supposed to make me feel but I did know that in the lonely nights at my new pack, I'd hold onto the memory of the swarm of wolves wasting their time just to wish me farewell, even if I was less than pleased with the attention at the moment.

Especially with my wrapped-up tattoo.

"Zane!" Knox smiled nervously as he waved me over to where he was waiting along with his mate and my mother, who was holding my pup, all of them standing next to the car I assumed would take us to Silver Claws. "Where were you, we were worried!" He whisper-shouted, not exactly wanting the others to overhear but knowing it was stupid to even try and hide with the enhanced hearing of the wolves.

"And what's that?" My mom chimed in, staring at the wrapped-up skin.

I didn't reply, just took them in for a moment. Looked into the worried gaze of my mother, at my friend's teary-eyed one, at my best friend's unreadable expression. Took in their hairs, their clothes, their faces.

"I'll miss you," I admitted, Dali throwing herself in my arms and almost knocking me over.

"We'll all miss you so much!" She choked on a sob, burying her head in my non-wrapped shoulder just as Knox came up to rub her back.

"Come on, love!" He coaxed her, getting her to step away from me and gather herself.

"My mark was starting to fade." I turned to my mom, noticing the way she was blinking too fast or holding her eyes shut.

Always so strong. Never the one to cry in front of others. Yet now she wouldn't have others...

"Oh, honey," she whispered, holding my pup a little tighter as her voice cracked. "It's like losing them all over again." I could only nod, hating that she understood but also envying her for still raising me and doing her job while I completely came apart.

"You tattooed your mark?" Knox asked.

"Yeah. I-" I shook my head, lowering my gaze to the ground, "I couldn't manage to lose it too." His hand landed on my shoulder not long afterward, making me look up again.

"I understand."

"I'm so sorry we're late!" Mia ran up to us, Francis holding her hand as they stood next to their Alpha and Luna.

"Zane, we hope you have a safe travel and an easy transition! If you need anything, we're one call away and forever grateful for the opportunity you provided us with!" Fran added, shaking my hand before pulling me into a hug.

"Thank you!" I mumbled.

"Alpha, the cars and drivers are all ready," a warrior approached us, bearing his head in respect to Knox and Dali, "the car seat has been installed too."

"Thank you, we need just a few more minutes."

I turned to the four cars - one for me and my pup, the rest filled with warriors - and swallowed. The vehicles were taking me to an entirely new life I'd never prepared for and had no way of knowing whether would go right or wrong.

"You'll be okay!" Knox reassured me, sensing my hesitation.

"Yeah." No one believed me, not even myself, but they let it slide. "Well, we better get going then," I drawled, receiving a nod from him.

I took Beyla from my mom, who gave her a loving kiss on the head before she let her go, and swallowed again. Now that I actually had to get the goodbyes out of me, I didn't think I could do it.

I nodded at all my closest family and friends and turned to leave when my best friend pulled me into a tight hug, careful not to crush his niece.

"I'll miss having your dumb ass around!" He smiled, bumping my shoulder. "Don't forget to call, Zane!"

"I won't," I promised. "But I, I have no idea where to start! What do I even do when I get there, after the ceremony?" Knox didn't even take a breath before he replied, as if he anticipated I'd ask.

"At your ceremony, announce you'll speak to each of your pack members," he shushed me before I could protest, "I know you don't want to, but it's important! You need to figure out if anyone there is still loyal to Cedric, and even if no one is, your pack members deserve a good Alpha after all the s**t they've gone through. You'll learn stories and probably ones I didn't know about, just... Give them peace. Mingle with the Alphas that make it and don't worry, Blood Moon may be unable to attend, but we're with you every step of the way!" He looked toward the sea of wolves before his gaze met mine again. "You'll make mistakes but you'll learn from them too. Allow yourself to learn."

I made a point to stack each word like a brick inside my head, willing myself to remember his advice.

Dali came up to me next, hugging me as well.

"You better make time to call me!" She demanded through tears, all the while trying to smile but being unable to.

"And you better stop crying." I bumped her nose, if only to not remember her face with tear streaks on it. "You wanted me to go, didn't you?"

"I did!" She wiped her face. "I do. The holidays just seem too far away and I'll miss you and my little niece being around!"

"I know." I wrapped an arm around her.

"Zane?" She mumbled, looking up at me. "Thank you for being such a great friend!"

"Thank you for being there for me, D!" And then I let her go, her mate tucking her into his side.

My mom stood in front of me next.

"I-" she began, fumbling with her words, "I failed you, honey." She sighed. "I will stay and take good care of your dad and Rosie for you. If you ever need me, I'll be one phone call away. And please, do call! I may not be the best mother but I want to make sure you're okay." Instead of letting her, us, go with a bad relationship, I pulled her in for a hug and kissed the top of her head.

I was still mad. Mad and terribly disappointed, but she was my mother, and Goddess knew the next time I'd get to see her. I didn't want to do this to her no matter how different I wished things would've gone.

"You didn't fail me and as far as mothers go, you're the best one I know!" I murmured, her only indication she'd heard me the sharp breath she took before her tears stained my shirt. "I know you were only looking out for me and Rosie and your intentions weren't ill, but no more secrets, Mom, promise!"

"I promise, honey!" She sniffed, kissing my cheek. "Travel safe!"

As she let me go, I was pulled into another hug, Shawn and Paisley having come to say their goodbyes, too. Hope hadn't been with them, for fear the pup wouldn't take it well that I was gone, and with me, the baby she had been begging but unable to meet. At least yet.

One last look towards my loved ones, and Beyla was already strapped to her seat, the engine roaring to life.

This was it.

A/N

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