Sun and Moon Saga

Chapter 2

A mother thinks about her child day and night, even if they are not with her, and will love them in a way they will never understand.”

YURA KIM

Walking out of that man's office made me feel mixed emotions. Was it wise to actually meet with him and discuss Jennie? Do I really want to send her back here so she can bask in the spotlight? I'm not sure what I just did, but I hope it will make Jennie happy since her happiness is my number one priority. I knew Jennie was exceptional from the time she was born. When I held her in my arms, appearing soft and beautiful with her cat-like eyes and her prominent pout, I sensed her resilient nature almost immediately, and witnessing her grow over the years has confirmed that. My one and only child, Jennie Ruby Jane, has been the foundation of my existence. The reason I wake up every day and continue to strive for a life worth living. Coming from a very influential family, from both sides of the family, Jennie was born not only with a silver spoon in her mouth, but with a golden spoon. There is nothing materialistic that she cannot have. Despite the fact that she has unlimited assistance and resources, she was raised to be humble and not overly spoiled. Both her father and I come from a line of old money that wields considerable power in Seoul. We have been equally protective of Jennie since her birth, and while I am a bit of a public figure due to my line of work, her father, on the other hand, has stayed out of the spotlight. There is little information available regarding her father, and this is unlikely to change.

Even though he was not the ideal spouse, despite having affairs and engaging in other vices, he remained a father figure. He provided for us as he should have, given his wealth, but he failed in other elements of being a family man. We were married for years, yet I've never felt more empty. At the time, marriage appeared to be firmly institutionalized. Did we ever love each other? Perhaps, and I want to believe that even for a short period of time, Jennie was the product of our diminutive love. For as long as I can remember, this is the most I've thought about this man. This is the most information I can or will disclose about her father. Jennie was still quite young, and my marriage was very complicated. It was difficult for us to get along since we both had power and were very capable, and I am an independent woman. A man as powerful as him could not manage the idea that I could offer as much to the table as he could. I wasn't taught to be a subservient wife, and I was certainly not going to become a martyr to cradle his narcissistic ego. No, that is not Yura Kim. And that will not be Jennie Kim for as long as I can fight it. He wounded me and Jennie in so many ways that I was unable to pretend to be happy in life. I chose to stay, and I suffered through all of his hurtful and cruel remarks directed at me. When he laid his hands on my priceless child, I realized it was time to leave. I didn't give it much thought, and I didn't dare look back to see if we could salvage our relationship for the sake of our developing family. Jennie was too young to grasp and digest the concept of divorce, but I was going to do everything I could to keep her safe from her own father. He repeatedly threatened me with finding a method to gain full custody of Jennie, and knowing how powerful he is, I was terrified and chose to relocate her while we dealt with the divorce. To say the procedure was messy would be an understatement.

I didn't want Jennie to watch the lengthy and difficult divorce process, so I decided to send her to New Zealand to study. She lived with my cousin, her favorite aunt so I felt comfortable leaving her. There, she attended school and tried to have a regular childhood. Moving Jennie to New Zealand was my greatest regret. I missed her every day for 5 years. The visits in between didn't make up for how much I missed her. I questioned my decision multiple times, but at the end of the day, I knew it was the right thing to do at that moment. I knew she would be safe there, and I wanted to preserve as much of her innocence as I could. Like the obedient child she is, she did not object to leaving her in New Zealand. She sensed there was something going on between her father and me, and as she grew older, I gradually opened up the matter in a way she could understand. Through hours of phone call conversations, I reassured her how much I love her and that once things were settled and well back in Seoul, we would consider returning.

After years of a difficult divorce process involving property and asset disputes, it is finally complete. I'm no longer attached to that man, and while I haven't felt that way in years, this time feels different. I feel elated and ready to start a new chapter with my daughter. I called Jennie as soon as it was finalized, and she was equally happy. The news thrilled her so much that she couldn't stop thinking about how much she wanted to finally see what was beyond New Zealand. And I was more than willing to show her the world and be granted the opportunity again to spend time with her.

*Flashback from two weeks earlier

I crossed my legs as I sat there waiting for the final documents to be signed, while across from me sat the man I would soon be free from. His face showed neither emotion nor remorse, and not even a single eye contact between us was made. I was fine with it, and I simply wanted to get it done and over with. The final page was opened before me, and I eagerly took back my pen and signed. The feeling was indescribable, and all I could think about was my daughter. I felt a smirk plant on the corner of my lips when suddenly my thought was interrupted.

“Ms. Kim, you will have all the copies of the documents within a couple of days,” disclosed my lawyer, who gave me a polite nod, cuing me that the hearing was done.

I didn’t waste any time and made my way out of the room. But before I could leave, I heard a familiar voice roar my name.

“Yura! Let me have a quick word with you,” he demanded.

I turned around only to regret it in one instance. We finally made eye contact, but he broke it off quickly when he noticed my eyes weren't the same ones he was used to looking at when he was belittling me with all his derogatory remarks. His tone grew lighter in attempt to get my attention once again,

“Yura, I…I just want to know how Jennie is doing and when are you planning on bringing her back here? You can’t keep her away from me forever.”

I kept my composure and avoided slapping his face as I approached him slowly. The nerve of this man. I stared at him as I clenched my fist.

“If you think I would allow you to get close to her, you have to be delirious. You don’t get to decide anything for us anymore. Are you forgetting why I had full custody of her to begin with?” he cut me off with a firm tone,

“Because you kidnapped my daughter from me only to abandon her someplace!”

“Kidnapped?! You resentful son of a b***h! How dare you spew such nonsense to me!” I barked at him. The instant I heard sound emanate from his unyielding mouth, my composed expression vanished. So I clenched my fist even tighter and my shoulders froze at a 90 degree angle, and I noticed him take a step back while still glaring at me.

"My daughter remains my daughter regardless of how many times you flip the world upside down and where you keep her. His eyes narrowed a little, and he moaned, "Jennie is my daughter."

I growled at him, making him flinch at my abrupt movement.

"Watch when you speak her name…" I quipped as he quickly interrupted me.

“Jennie!” he shouted back, and after he spoke her name, I didn’t give him a chance to continue, so I walked away. I had to walk away. I wasn't going to let him rob me of the joy I felt moments before he called my name. I scurried towards my car as my driver opened the door for me. I took a deep breath and took out my phone. There was only one person who could turn my rage into happiness, and that’s the voice I needed to hear and the face I needed to see. Answering in an instant, a lovely, gummy smile splashed on my screen.

“Eomma!!!” a jolly voice shrieked. There’s the face, and that’s the voice. My world.

“Jennie-yah!” I screeched back in excitement.

I could not resist thinking about how soon we would be together. After all the years I missed out on her life, I was eager to embrace her once again. After we exchanged greetings, I delivered her the news about the divorce. She was quick to celebrate in her cute way, clapping her hands and exposing her signature gummy smile and her dumpling cheeks.

"So, Jennie-yah, is there some place in particular you would like to vacation in before we find a permanent place to settle down?” I asked in consideration.

“Hmmm, well, eomma….” she faltered shyly. “I haven’t given it much thought, but for me, it would be okay to settle somewhere first and then think about vacationing afterwards.”

“Well, that’s mature of you, and I will consider your proposal since it's you and me now, Peudie, we both have to be on the same page with life altering decisions.”

Even though my desire is for us to return to Seoul, the knowledge that her father is trying to get in touch with her makes me want to relocate her even farther than Auckland.

“Jennie-yah, how do you feel about the states?” I asked.

“States? Well, I thought…” she cried as a frown drew on her face.

“Well, I was thinking Florida. Since I feel California would be too overwhelming,” I asserted as my final words faded into a faint murmur. I saw that as I brought up the States, her expression stayed dejected. So I spoke up and asked her,

“Did you not want to go there? Of course I wouldn’t force you, dear.”

“Well, no, it’s not that. It’s just that I thought after the divorce was final that we would be able to go back to Seoul. After all, our family and friends are there,” she contested.

“Seoul? Really, you want to come back here? So you are willing to study here?"

“Actually, eomma, I don't think I am as passionate about becoming a lawyer as I was before. And I was thinking Seoul because, number one, our family is there, and number two, I really want to try being a trainee and pursue a career as an idol.”

Her disclosure regarding her future plans made my heart a little tight. Unaware that she ever wanted to dabble in the industry, I still remember how I spent hours talking to her about how cynical it could be, not to mention how she would have to tackle a lot of privacy measures since both sides of the family are well known.

“Jennie-yah, I had no idea you would ever be interested in that line of industry. I’m not sure you are fully aware of all the sacrifices you must make to become an idol.”

“Eomma, I know it won’t be easy, but I feel confident knowing that you know the industry and will hopefully guide me. There’s no one else I would seek advice from but you. I trust you, and I know even if I didn't succeed, you would still be cheering me on.” Jennie expressed it with a baby tone.

After she reminded me that I should support her in the same way that she supports my decisions, how could I say no to such a request? But is she prepared to put herself out there, where the competition to become an idol is fierce and the standards are high? It’s not as though I do not think highly of her; she is endearing and capable of anything Jennie sets her mind to. As I danced with the idea of her wanting to become an idol, she cried on the line,

“Eomma?? Are you okay? I’m sorry for blurting it out like that. It was just an idea. It was silly of me. I should have waited until we met again.”

“Don’t be sorry; I know you well enough that you say what you mean, and you mean what you say. You wear your heart on your sleeve, Peudie, and witnessing how excited you are about becoming an idol in SoKor makes me want to overlook a lot of things.”

I knew for a fact that I had to overlook a lot of things. Not just her face being plastered all over Sokor if she ends up debuting, but knowing that her father would be within miles from her. However, my ultimate goal is to help her pursue her happiness, and if that means returning to Seoul, then so be it. I owe it to her. She deserves to be happy, and she’s right; regardless of whether or not she makes it, I will continue to cheer her on.

“Eomma, you can stop overthinking now. We can discuss this next time.” She said it with a sigh and a forced smile.

“Jennnie-yah, I will make calls to set up…” Before I could finish my sentence, she interjected.

“No! Eomma, I appreciate the gesture but I will not have you pull strings for me. This is something I want to do on my own. And no, eomma, I will not try with SME…with all due respect. And I know the other competing companies are off limits, so I decided it would be safe to go with YG. Which is either fate or coincidence since they just posted ads for open auditions for a new girl group!” Jennie exclaimed with enthusiasm.

“YG? They’re a tough bunch to impress, Peudie. Not that I don’t have faith in your talent; I just want to caution you that their standards are somewhat unrealistic. Don't ever let their discouraging words define you.” I cried with concern.

“I know eomma. And I have a confession to make. I actually submitted an audition request form online weeks ago. And I’m basically waiting for an opening and figured by then we are free to travel since your court would have been finalized,” she confessed.

Well, that took me by surprise. I didn’t know she had it in her to do something like that behind my back. But who am I to argue that I wasn’t physically with her? For the most part, all I can do right now is guide her from now on.

“So, an idol, huh? Jennie Ruby Jane.” I boldly jested. “Sounds like an idol to me.”

I saw her cheeks blush, and she coyly looked away, saying, “Aishhh, eomma!”

*end of flashback

Considering the midday traffic, the drive from YG took a while, which allowed me to ponder over the notion that my daughter would set out on this new venture. For whatever reason, I had to text her. I don't know if it was slightly guilty for going behind her back and arranging the audition for her, but I wanted her to feel my presence, even if it was just through text.

Contact: Jenppeuda

Message: A mother thinks about her child day and night, even if they are not with her, and will love them in a way they will never understand. I love you, Jennie-yah. See you soon.

I didn’t glare at my phone in anticipation of a reply. So I closed my eyes for a bit and enjoyed the quiet drive.