SEDUCING MY BIKER PROFESSOR

CHAPTER 19: Sealing The Misery

Adrian's POV

"Is this not Jesse Carlisle?" I asked. I tapped my index finger harshly against the printed photograph on my desk.

Ronan leaned forward. He placed both of his large hands flat on the wooden surface and stared down at the photo. I waited for the violent recognition to show on his face.

Instead, a heavy, tired recognition settled between us. He let out a long, deep breath and rubbed the back of his neck with his right hand.

"That is just Jesse," Ronan said quietly. He pushed the piece of paper away from him, completely dismissing the threat I thought I had found.

I frowned. A sharp spike of irritation hit my chest. "Just Jesse?"

"Yes," Ronan confirmed. He stood up straight and rested his hips against the edge of the desk. "He was Nirvana's best friend back in high school."

I stared at him. The irritation quickly mutated into a dark, ugly jealousy. "Her best friend."

"He had this highly annoying behavior of following her absolutely everywhere she went," Ronan explained. His tone was entirely dismissive. "He would always sit on our front porch. He was always carrying her art supplies or sitting in the grass while she painted her canvases. He was just a neighborhood kid who would not leave her alone. He is not a threat, Adrian."

I picked the paper up and looked at the picture again. Jesse had grown into a young, handsome man. His bright blonde hair was now cut very low. He wore a crisp, clean collared shirt in the university photo, giving him a polished, gentleman look.

He looked like the type who had no dirt under their fingernails. There was no violence in his eyes. He looked exactly like the kind of man who belonged on a safe college campus. He looked exactly like the kind of man a normal girl should be talking to.

I rolled my eyes at his picture and dropped the paper back onto the wood. I dislike him instantly. I hated that he had a history with her. I hated that he knew her before me.

But Jesse Carlisle was not the reason I had called Ronan to the clubhouse in the middle of the night.

Ronan knew that. He reached his hand into the folder sitting between us. He bypassed the other student records and background checks Iris had compiled. He pulled out a single sheet of printed paper. It was the live photo of the two of us standing together in my private garage.

Ronan held the paper in his hand for a long moment. Unlike what I had expected, he did not yell at me. He did not throw a violent punch at my jaw.

He did not lunge across the desk the way he did in the VIP room at the restaurant. Instead, his entire demeanor shifted and his posture went completely rigid. His jaw locked tight.

He slammed the printed photo flat onto the wooden desk right in front of me and the loud noise echoed off the office. He pointed at the dark image.

"Look at this," Ronan ordered with annoyance "Look closely at the angle of this shot, Adrian."

I forced myself to look down at the picture. I saw my own large hands gripping her body tightly. I saw her back pressed against the heavy wooden workbench. I saw the exact moment my control had completely shattered.

"This was taken through a ten-foot window," Ronan stated. His voice carried a heavy, unforgiving weight. "He had a clear, unobstructed shot of the back of my sister's head. He had enough time to climb up, point a camera, take a picture, and send it directly to her phone. Do you know why he managed to get that close to my sister without you hearing him step on the concrete?"

I remained completely silent. The heavy guilt was already rising rapidly in my throat, choking the air out of my lungs. I swallowed hard. I knew exactly why I did not hear the footsteps in the dark alleyway.

Ronan answered his own question with brutal, unapologetic honesty.

"Because your hands were on her waist," Ronan said softly.

I flinched. The words landed as a direct blow to my chest.

"Because you were too busy undressing her to be alert," Ronan continued. He leaned closer to me, his dark eyes boring into mine. "You were entirely distracted. You are the President of this club, Adrian. You hear a car park three blocks away. You hear a door open on the other side of this warehouse. You know when someone is watching you. But tonight, you heard absolutely nothing. Your lack of control is literally going to get her killed, Adrian."

The raw truth of his statement was completely undeniable. I could not offer a single defense. I had failed her.

I had spent my entire adult life surviving on pure adrenaline and paranoia. I trusted no one. I always sat facing the door. But the moment Nirvana begged me to touch her, I forgot every single rule that kept me alive. I let an enemy walk right up to a ten-foot window and point a camera at the woman I was supposed to protect.

My lethal instincts, the very things that had kept my men alive for years in the violent streets, had completely vanished the absolute second I tasted her mouth. I had closed my eyes. I had focused entirely on the intense heat of her skin. I had focused on the soft, desperate sounds she made against my chest. I had left her entirely exposed to whoever was standing out there in the dark.

I remembered the raw fear on her face when I pulled my handgun from my waistband. I had caused that fear. I had placed her directly in the line of danger because I could not keep my hands to myself.

"If you are blinded by lust, you cannot be her protector," Ronan told me. He stood up straight and crossed his arms over his broad chest. "You cannot do both. You have to choose right now."

The demand hit me hard. I looked away from his face and stared at the dark wall of my office.

I wanted her. I wanted to claim her and keep her hidden away from the rest of the world. But I wanted her breathing far more than I wanted anything else. If my touch was putting a target on her back, I had to stop touching her. I had to remove the weakness.

To keep Nirvana breathing, I had to completely freeze my emotions. I had to step backward and lock away the intense desire I felt every time she walked into a room. I had to become nothing more than the cold, distant professor she met on her first day of classes. I had to force her away.

I realized I had to break her heart to keep it beating. And I had to start immediately.

"I understand," I said quietly. My voice sounded hollow to my own ears.

Ronan watched the harsh realization wash over my face. He studied my eyes. He needed absolute certainty. He needed to know I was fully committed to pushing Nirvana away, no matter how much pain it caused both of us.

"She is my sister, Adrian," Ronan reminded me. His voice softened slightly, carrying the heavy weight of our long brotherhood. "She has been through enough hell with her mother. I brought her to New York to give her a clean start. I need you to let her have that start. She does not belong in this violent life. She does not belong in a world where men take pictures through windows and send threats in the middle of the night. She is a civilian. She needs peace, not constant paranoia. You can have any other woman you want in this city. You can have any woman you want in this club. Leave Nirvana alone."

I closed my eyes for a fraction of a second. I pictured Daniella offering herself to me in this exact office just a few hours ago, and how entirely repulsive the idea had felt.

I did not want any other woman. I only wanted the one woman standing in my garage tonight. I only wanted the woman who painted the screaming canvas hanging in that restaurant.

But I opened my eyes and looked directly at my best friend. He was trusting me to do the right thing. He was trusting me to save her life.

"I will stay away from her," I promised. I forced the words out of my mouth, sealing my own misery. "I will not touch her again. I will keep my distance. I will be her professor, and nothing else. I will make sure she never wants to step foot near me again."

Ronan stared me down in the quiet office. He did not look relieved by my promise. He knew exactly how strong the connection between us was. He knew exactly how hard it would be to severe that tie. He knew Nirvana was stubborn and would fight the rejection.

"Can you actually do it?" Ronan asked. "Can you look her in the eyes tomorrow and act like she means absolutely nothing to you?”