Gertrude’s Curse

Chapter 4

So, with no dignity and full of embarrassment and many other feelings to abstract for me to understand or describe I went on with my life, I showed up at school the following week, everyone was whispering about me in the halls, guys that were older than me were talking to me thinking I would go primitive on them and get it on, I had some awful experiences those first few days, one in particular left me traumatized til this day… some guys grabbed me and dragged me to the restrooms after school, they tried touching me (more like did),to see if they ignite something in me. I fought them but they were stronger. Thankfully Jason, who is a teacher at the school heard them and walked in on what was going on, he pulled me out of their grip and sent them all to detention, they blamed me of course… After that I just did my best to avoid the corridors, specially during low student traffic times, I took on jogging on the evenings, usually Lana or Jason would accompany me, sometimes even Rache if she was able to sell a good enough excuse to her parents so we would spend time together after school.

I didn’t hear from James for a very long time, I would catch a glimpse of him at school and for obvious reasons would run in the opposite direction, we didn’t have any classes together (his parents made sure of that), at home things were bad too, my mom started to go away on “assignments” for longer periods of time, she would barely speak to me, she would only address me for the absolutely necessary, the rest of the time it was like I was not even there, I was invisible… which on one hand would’ve been a great superpower at school but not at home, when you are home you want to feel safe, you want to be able to speak in a comfortable environment about your issues, but that was not an option for me… each day that passed I became more distant, more inhibited… when the heat came which sometimes happened up to twice a month I would get a written note from Lana so I didn’t have to attend classes, I would take my pills and stay home and took many many showers, some were to ease the pain, some were to try to feel cleaner… purer? something I would never be in the eyes of anyone who knew me or more like knew of me and my issue…

Rache never really stopped being my friend, she would bring me homework when I was not able to come to school, would walk with me to the supermarket for grocery shopping when I needed to go, this was for two purposes one was to be with someone in case any wolf would get any ideas and two because it was on the way of the most dreadful place this entire pack held, at least for me… I had to go by the Alpha and Luna office building to make it to the supermarket, I was terrified of both… Luna Imelda hated my guts, she looked at me like I was the dirt of her shoe… and Alpha Daniel would look at me with murderous eyes, I honestly swear that they did not have me killed because it would reflect badly on them killing someone who doesn’t even have a wolf but that does not mean that they wouldn’t change their mind about it, though I do sometimes feel that being dead is not very different from the isolated and degraded life I lead but I try to stray from those feelings.

So, my life was not great but I held on to the little bits of happiness that I had and ensured that these would motivate me to keep going, I missed James for sure… but I would never had the nerve to reach out to him again or so I thought… when we turn 16 we are supposed to ascend which in wolf slang means we get in touch with our inner wolf… the wolves really start developing in us since we are little and they kind of come full term with our minds and bodies by the time we turn 16, that is when we are able to shift… the shift comes in different moments for each wolf, some get it during an angry or scared episode, some on their birthday, others with any sort if strong emotion and a few of us don’t get it at all, is not so unusual but it is frown upon, there are a few exceptions of late bloomers but mostly if you have not been able to feel your wolf you can almost be sure you are part of the very select and lucky (insert sarcasm), group… another thing that happens is that your wolf will feel its mate (soulmate, kindred spirit, counterpart, hearts desire or however you want to call it), within 12 to 24 months from the moment your wolf instinct kicks in, again is not an immediate science, it usually happens around your 18th birthday….

The story of soulmates is very beautiful, supposedly the God who created the humans fell in love with another celestial, she is known as the Goddess of the moon, he did everything in his power to make her fall in love with him, celestial beings are known to be destructive but the fire God was filled with love and passion, the Goddess who had never experienced anything like the fire God before, fell deeply in love with him, she was incapable of describing this abstract feeling but she knew it was special, the God told the Goddess about creation, how creating and nurturing instead of destroying made him more wholesome, made him feel with purpose, and so the Goddess taken by his new forms wanted to create and hopefully make something so grand that she would give something special to the God, so she harvested the power of the stars to create special humans who would roam the earth and would be stronger and more evolve than regular humans, these people were to have special powers, some could shift into other creatures, some had bits of magic, others would have special abilities like flying or reading minds, changing forms to mix with nature, they were created to defend the earth from darker energies, celestial beings that exist because they feed from other species like ours. Because there was too much power (or energy), in each star for just one human to contain it, the humans that were gifted by the Goddess could become stronger if they found the other half of their star to complete them, after all our bodies are not immortal and there is a limit to us, so in order to solve that problem the Goddess split each star in two, each half would go to a different person and once these two people met a bond would form, the link itself was invisible to the untrained unholy eye but the energy flowing between the two bodies would feel whole once it meets its other half, making the link so powerful that it becomes one again, all little invisible particles stuck together, and that is how you know you’ve met your mate, that one person who would perfectly fit with your particles.

The Goddess told the God how she had improved humans with the power harvested from the stars, the God while impressed by how fast the Goddess learned and touched by how she wanted to do something for him accepted the gift wholeheartedly, however, he did tell her that he was not one for closed rules, after all if everything was to follow a pattern he would have been destructive and incapable of love like the other celestials, the Goddess understood his concern and she explained him that while her creation was a bit different from humans who had free will for everything, she would make an arrangement that so long as both sides of the stars agreed wholeheartedly and without hesitation that they did not want to be one again they could reject one another, they wouldn’t be as strong but they wouldn’t be forced to be together so long as their heart desires were true, satisfied with the explanation the God agreed to this arrangement and so supernatural beings were created on earth.