My Psycho

5. Not Like This

My stomach churned at what I read. He was tortured to the brink of death! He was abandoned by his mother! He killed his own father! He lived through absolute hell! Rafe went through all that. That 17 year old boy had to live through this madness.

I couldn't sleep that night. I tossed and turned and kept thinking about Rafe. I thought that maybe I could help him. Maybe I could find a way. Maybe I could convince him to seek professional help. Maybe I could finally make things right for once. This went on for hours and I had to get dressed for school. I wore some sweatpants, a tight t shirt, and white sneakers. I left for school, still lost in thought. When I arrived, Rafe was asleep in his seat. I sat beside him at my desk and couldn't help but stare. There was no one else here yet. I just now noticed that he was quite handsome. He looked innocent and peaceful while asleep like this.

"Look away." He said without opening his eyes.

"Who said I was looking?" I asked innocently.

" Your stare was burning right through me." He muttered and opened his eyes. I sighed and got my book out of my bag.

"H-hey Kent." I reluctantly called. His eyes widened and he gave me an infuriated glare.

"It's Rafe!" He hissed at me.

"O-okay, Rafe. I know." I slowly confessed. He stared at me waiting for the continuation. "I know what happened with you." I revealed from under my breath. I suddenly felt a sting on my cheek and was met with a harsh slap. My head twisted from the impact and Rafe stood up with a screech from his chair. He looked at me in anger. I put my hand on my burning cheek and closed my agape mouth. His expression melted into a sadder one and then he ran out of the class. I blinked away tears of pain from the slap. He really didn’t hold back.

I gulped but decided to try and find him. I shouldn’t have been that straightforward and insensitive. Part of me just knew he would be somewhere cutting himself. I didn't want to lose anyone else that way, even if it was that unstable bully. At that point though, I wondered if I was someone kind, or just down right stupid. I ran out and stopped to think where to look.

I saw room 103— the room he locked me in. I felt a pang in my chest at the memory, but I still decided to go. Upon my arrival, I realized that I was right.

Rafe sat against the wall with his blade out.

"Rafe?" I gently called and closed the door behind me.

"What? Want to get hurt again?" He asked in sorrow. "Well I'm not in the mood rat." He muttered with a sad smile. I sighed and the bell rang. I was actually missing class, bu I didn't care. I slowly came over and sat down on the floor next to him. He was like an emo bratty 5 year old, and that’s how I’ll treat him.

As gently as possible, I reached out to take the blade from him. With no hesitation, he let go, as if he was waiting for me to come and take it away. I placed the knife next to myself and looked back at him.

"Rafe you shouldn't be doing this." I whispered. He straightened his back and looked at me scornfully.

"Who do you think you are!" He yelled and grabbed a fistful of my hair. He took deep breaths yet didn’t let go. He brought his lips close to my ear and whispered "know your limits rat."

My scalp burned and I could barely breathe from how my head was angled. He finally let go of my hair and quickly walked out. I looked at him in anger as he walked away. I caught my breath and rubbed my aching scalp. I slammed my hand against the wall in frustration and went back to class. I went in as the second period started and sat down next to Rafe. We avoided each other throughout the day.

The last class was over with the sound of the bell. I packed my bag and was getting ready to leave before Tyler came over to me.

"Hey Alice!" He walked to me with a grin.

"Hi!" I giddily replied.

"Can we go grab some coffee together?" He asked with a dashing smile. I looked over at Rafe and he angrily grabbed his bag.

"Yes sure!" I replied and looked back at Tyler. We both took our bags and went to the nearest coffee shop. We got some coffee and sat down together. He insisted to pay for mine and took both our drinks to a small table. We sat down and started drinking.

"So, Alice. I broke up with Monica." He blurted out with an awkward little smile, causing me to almost choke on my coffee.

"What! why?" I asked.

" It just wasn't working out." He explained. "So, wanna go see a movie together tomorrow?" He asked me a little shyly. Tyler and I were good friends, and it would be awkward if I refused. He was also quite attractive and I felt nice being around him.

"Sure." I replied with a smile. We finished our coffee and chatted for a bit before he walked me home. We arrived at my door and I stood there awkwardly. He looked down at me with a small smile and opened his arms. I hesitantly hugged him and he hugged me back. It was only for a moment, then he let go.

"See you tomorrow." He said. I nodded and he waited as I went inside. I closed the door quietly and then stood there for a minute to process what just happened. Oh god, Monica would not be happy. I shook my head at all this madness and walked upstairs to change.

I screamed.

Rafe was asleep on my bed soundlessly on his stomach. I put my hand over my heaving chest and calmed down. I got a closer look at him. He had been scratching himself again. I walked downstairs while cursing at myself. I got some bandages and disinfectants. I slowly sat down next to the sleeping Rafe and put his arm in my lap. I put the disinfectant on his scratches and was surprised he didn't wake up or react. Was he that tired? I wrapped his arm up and then placed it back beside his sleeping figure. I got up and looked at him with crossed arms. The audacity this guy has.

As much as I was fuming, I just frustratedly took a pillow and blanket and went to sleep on the couch. I then woke up to something cold and wet on my face. I opened my eyes to see Rafe’s face inches from mine.

His tears fell onto my face and I then sat upright to look at him. He pulled away and dropped down to the floor.

"Why?" He asked brokenly with a voice that broke my heart. His nose was red and his eyes bloodshot were bloodshot from crying.

"Why what?" I asked, acting oblivious in the heat if the moment.

"Why do you treat me as if I'm human!" He screamed and sobbed. I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

"Rafe! You are!" I yelled back.

"What f*****g human kills his own father, huh!" He screamed. I was taken aback. He sobbed. "What human... is hated by everyone?" He asked in a quieter more heart wrenching tone.

"Well, I don't hate you Rafe." I calmly told him. I got down to the floor and touched his shoulder. He didn't react. I took that as a sign to continue and let him into my arms as he cried.

"Now you have a shoulder to cry on." I whispered to him. He suddenly pushed me away and stumbled back.

"You think I need you!" He yelled at me. I stared in shock. "You're just a rat! I'm only using you for the entertainment!" He yelled again in sobs. Before I could even react, he ran out the door in tears.