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1169 Words
Welcome to my life.
I remember when everything was good. I remember when my older brothers would play with me and teach me how to play footie.
I remember when my father would look at me as if he was proud of his creation. As if he was proud of me. My mother was the proudest of them all; she loved me with all of her heart.
Those days seem so far away now. Everything has changed and has changed for the worst. My mom is still trying to keep the peace between us all. My dad, well he is just as bad as them. He never sticks up for me, ever. All they do is torture me and make fun of me.
Where did the loving brothers go? They were always beside me when I was growing up, I felt loved and appreciated we had so much fun back then.
Then it all changed when I had my eleventh birthday and I started to change through puberty and my whole body changed including my features.
I was in a mainstream primary school, but before school ended that year they thought it was best for me to go to a special school. I couldn't understand why I was doing fine at school. I struggled with some subjects more than others but that was normal for any kid, right?
My parents sat me down to "have a chat", I knew what that meant all too well they never told me why I was having special care at school until now when I would finally know the truth of who I am.
"Son we need to tell you something and it's very important and it's the reason we are sending you to a special school."
I gulped loudly. "Sure." It's not like I wanted to know when you ruined my life.
"Son. Your mother and I had you later in life, you were a gift don't ever think any different. But there were complications because we were both over forty and we had to make a choice and we both accepted what the doctor had told us and decided to keep you and we love you nonetheless than your brothers and sister. As you know, Siena has mild learning difficulties."
"So I have them too?"
He shook his head. "No son. It's more complicated than that."
"How much more complicated can it possibly be?"
"Son, this is hard on both me and you mom please understand we always done what we thought was best for you."
"Just tell me, dad, how bad can it be?"
"Son you're autistic you have something called Autism Spectrum Disorder, which means that you have a developmental disorder that affects communication and behaviour." My father said.
My face was pale. I can't believe they kept this away from me. Didn't they think I wouldn't understand? Damn right I didn't from now on my life would change and not for the better, but the worst.
All I wanted to do was crawl into a hole and never be found until I came to terms with this disability no one ever had the decency to tell me about.
From that day forward my brothers looked at me with so much hatred and disgust. I had Autism not a f*****g disease though they stopped treating me as they used to, there were so many distinct mm and hateful glares and gestures, especially with all the hateful words such as: "Spas."
"Retard"
"You'll never be anything waster"
"Your as thick as s**t you won't ever account for anything."
"You should’ve been drowned at birth!"
It got so bad I started believing everything they said. I never wanted to go home when they were all there because they'd voice their opinions making me feel even more s**t about myself. It got so bad that I began to self-harm and almost killed myself several times. No one would care if I was alive or dead.
I couldn't take it anymore. They were supposed to be my family they were supposed to love me unconditionally, but no not this horrible horrid family.
They couldn't stand my mere existence. Maybe I should do them all a favour and die. My mother tried so hard to maintain the peace but always failed.
My father well never had a s**t he just let them get on with it. Maybe he thought like them about me: I'd accomplish nothing in my sad pathetic life so I may as well be dead.
I hate this family so f*****g much I just want to leave them behind and say a big f**k you to all of them, apart from my Mom and Seina, she was the only one who stuck up for me when they started on me which was a regular occurrence.
Siena was my only sister, Seina was and will always be my rock. She is my strength and my weakness. I loved her more than the rest of my family.
She had stopped me many times from ending my life though I wished she hadn't she'd always tell me.
Dolton High - Jay
Gian
I've been at Dolton High since I turned eleven. I'm one of the oldest in the class. My eleventh birthday was the last we ever celebrated. My brothers refused to celebrate with a "spastic" That's one of the many words they called me. My hatred grew over the years and I couldn't wait till I turned sixteen and got out of hell.
The name-calling never got any better, just worse. Their hateful words were scratched into the back of my brain. I couldn't believe I was born into such a hateful family.
I had around three months left at high school, a place of solitude, one I would rather be locked up in 24-7 instead of going home to those that have no right to even call themselves my family.
This was my haven around my friends and peers. Even my teachers treated me with more respect than my own family does.
"Hey G how's things?"
I looked up to see my best friend smiling brightly, he always smiled no matter how he felt. He was my rock, my Saviour. He was the one that was there when I needed to talk to and take time from my family.
He has helped me through so much, like Seina. I think he has a crush on my older sister. He was the first one to stop me from ending my life on that horrible night.
I was alone. Siena was sleeping over with her friends and I didn't expect my brothers to be at our home because I was there.
Though mom liked us all to eat together, my aunts hardly came around. I was fourteen and the bullying had escalated from name-calling to telling me I was a worthless piece of s**t that didn't deserve to be born cause I would never account for anything and mom should’ve drowned me at birth.
- Writer
