MY HUSBAND'S SECRET SIDE CHICK

THE QUESTIONS THAT WOULDN'T DIE

"How does any of this make sense?" My voice came out sharper than I intended. Ethan stood across from me, still holding the photograph. Mia remained near the door silent. I pointed at the picture in my hand.

"You tell me Natalie is the woman I've been thinking you're involved with. Then you tell me she's connected to me, that she came back for me and somehow, none of you have answered the one question that started all this."

Ethan's eyes narrowed slightly.

"The underwear."

"Yes."

I held his gaze.

"Why was Natalie's underwear in your car?"

Silence.

My chest tightened. "That was the first thing I found, Ethan. Before Mia, before the photograph, before all these secrets. I found a woman's underwear in my husband's car."

"I know."

"So explain it."

"I will."

"When?"

His expression changed.

"Right now." I folded my arms.

"Good."

He took a breath.

"The underwear belonged to Natalie."

My heart dropped, I stared at him.

"You just said it wasn't Mia's."

"It isn't."

"So it was Natalie's?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

He hesitated and there it was again. That hesitation, the thing that made every answer feel like another lie waiting to happen.

"Ethan."

"She left it in the car?"

"Why was Natalie in your car?"

"She needed a ride."

I laughed bitterly. "Of course."

"Laura..."

"No. Keep going. This is the part where you explain why my husband's former..."

"She wasn't my lover."

I stopped.

"Then what was she doing in your car?"

He looked at the floor. "Helping me."

"Helping you with what?"

He didn't answer, I felt my frustration rising.

"You keep giving me half-sentences."

"Because I was trying to figure out how to tell you."

"And you had years to do that."

"I know."

"You had weeks."

"I know."

"You had every opportunity to tell me before I found the underwear in your car."

His face tightened.

"I was scared."

"Of me?"

"No."

"Then what?"

He looked directly at me. "Of loosing you."

The answer caught me off guard.

For one second, neither of us spoke, because despite everything I knew that look. I'd seen it before. Not in the past few weeks but years ago.

When Ethan and I were still dating and he had been terrified that I would leave him after our first serious argument. Back then, he'd pull me into his arms and promised that whatever happened, he'd fight for us.

I hated that I remembered. I hated that some part of me still wanted to believe him.

"You don't get to use that against me," I whispered.

"I'm not."

"You're making me feel guilty for asking questions."

"No."

"Then stop looking at me like I'm the one breaking this marriage."

His expression softened.

"I never said that."

"You didn't have to."

Then Mia finally spoke. "He's telling the truth about one thing."

I turned toward her. "Right about what?"

"He was afraid you'd leave."

I stared at her for a while. "How would you know?"

She gave Ethan a tired look. "Because he told me."

Something about that hurt me, he'd spoken to Mia about me, about our marriage, about his fears and I'd known nothing about her existence. Then I looked at Ethan.

"You talked to her about us?"

"Yes."

"For how long?"

"Since she came back."

"When?"

Then he hesitated. "There months ago."

My eyes widened. "Three months?"

He nodded.

"And you've known about her for three months?"

"Yes "

I stepped away from him.

Three months.

That was roughly when Ethan had started changing.

Late dinners, the short conversations, constant exhaustion and distance. I had thought he was falling out of love with me. But apparently, he had been carrying a secret the entire time.

I looked down at the photograph again. Natalie was smiling and so was I, we looked young and happy, inseparable.

I remembered that day now.

It was a summer afternoon, the two of us spent hours laughing over nothing. I'd trusted her completely, then she disappeared from my life all of a sudden.

No explanation.

No goodbye.

Just gone.

I looked at Ethan. "Why did Natalie leave?"

His eyes flickered towards Mia.

Mia shook her head. "That's something he needs to tell you."

I stared at my husband. "What happened between us?"

He walked toward the window and for several seconds he said absolutely nothing. Then he spoke.

"Your friendship with Natalie didn't end because she wanted it to."

I frowned. "What does that mean?"

"It means she was forced to leave."

"By who?"

He turned around.

"Her family."

I stared at him. "This doesn't make any f*****g sense."

"I know."

"Then why didn't she tell me?"

"Because she believed she was protecting you."

"Protecting me from what exactly?"

His answer came quietly. "From the same thing Mia has been protecting you from."

I felt a chill run through me, then I looked at Mia.

"What exactly are you protecting me from?"

She didn't answer.

"I'm asking you."

Mia's eyes filled with tears.

"I can't tell you everything."

"Why not?"

"Because part of it isn't mine to tell."

I shook my head. "This is stupid."

I walked toward the door, I needed air, I needed space and mostly I needed to stop looking at Ethan because every time I did, I remembered why I had fallen in love with him. And that was becoming dangerous for me.

I reached the hallway before Ethan called my name.

"Laura."

I stopped and slowly turned to look at him

"Don't leave."

"And why should I stay?"

"Because I haven't finished."

I almost laughed. "You've been saying that all morning."

"This time, I'm serious."

"And so am I."

Then he walked toward me.

"I know you're hurt."

"You don't know half of it."

"I know."

"No, Ethan. You don't."

My voice cracked.

"You don't know what it feels like to wake up beside someone everyday on suddenly wonder whether the person sleeping next to you has been living in completely different life."

His face fell.

"You wear my safest place."

I swallowed.

"And now I don't even know where I stand."

He stopped in front of me, for a moment neither of us spoke then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small key.

I stared at it.

"What is that?"

"The key to the apartment."

"What apartment?"

"Natalie's."

My heart skipped.

"Why do you have it?"

"Because she asked me to keep it."

"Why."

He looked at Mia, then at me.

"Because she wants you to have something."

"What?"

He placed the key in my palm.

"A letter."

I stared at him.

"A letter from Natalie?"

"Yes."

"Then why didn't you give it to me?"

"Because I was afraid of what it would do to you."

I closed my fingers around the key. "You don't have to decide what I can handle."

"I know."

"Where is she?"

His expression changed. "She left."

"Where?"

"No idea."

I stared at him and for the first time, he looked as lost as I felt. Then Mia stepped closer.

"She didn't leave because of Ethan."

I looked at her. "Then why?"

Mia's lips parted. But before she could answer, Ethan interrupted.

"Because of you."

"Me?"

He nodded.

I couldn't understand. "I haven't seen Natalie in years."

"I know."

"Then why would she leave because of me?"

Ethan looked at the key in my hand.

"Because she believed that if she stayed, you would eventually discover what happened."

"What happened?"

He said nothing then I stepped closer. "What happened Ethan?"

His eyes met mine and this time, there was no hesitation.

"No one cheated on you Laura."

I frowned. "What?"

"The reason I've been distant isn't because I stopped loving you."

My heart clenched. "Then why?"

He took a slow breath.

"Because three months ago, Natalie came back and told me something about your past."

"My past? What did she tell you?"

Ethan looked at Mia, she lowered her eyes. I felt my patience snap.

"Would you two stop looking at each other and tell me something." I said raising my voice.

Ethan's jaw tightened, then he finally said: "she told me the real reason she disappeared from your life."

My heartbeat quickened.

"And?"

His voice dropped. "She didn't abandon you."

I waited.

"She was made to leave."

"By who?"

Ethan looked at me.

Then he said the one thing I wasn't prepared to hear.

"Someone in your family."

I went completely still.

"My family?" The people I trusted, the people I grew up with. The people who had watched me marry Ethan.

I shook my head.

"No."

"Laura..."

"No."

I backed away.

"You're telling me my best friend disappeared because someone in my family forced her to?"

"Yes."

"Who?"

"Ethan's expression broke. "I can't say."

"Why?"

"Because the person who did it is still in your life."

The words hit harder than anything else he'd said.

I looked at Mia, she was crying not denying. Not correcting him.

My stomach twisted, then I turned back to Ethan.

"Who?"

He took a step closer, I raised my hand.

"Don't." Then he stopped, I could hear my own heartbeat.

"Just tell me already."

His eyes held mine.

And finally, after all the lies, all the silence and all the years of unanswered questions, Ethan gave me the name.

The name of the person who had destroyed my friendship with Natalie. The name of the person who had known the truth before I ever did.

The name of the person I had trusted without question. When I heard it, my knees nearly gave way. Because it wasn't a stranger.

It wasn't Natalie.

It wasn't Mia.

It wasn't even Ethan.

It was someone I had never imagined I would have to doubt. Someone whose voice I had heard that very morning.

My mother.