Chain of Restrictions

Kabanata 14

Green

Hugh and I have been on this silent treatment, since I saw them like a freaking couple in the hallway.

Oh, baka ako lang?

"Leigh." Umakto akong parang walang narinig as I walked on the hallway towards our room while 'scrolling' on my iphone. It's been a week since the intramurals ended and it's now the 3rd quarter of our year.

"Vaughn!" Napaangat ang aking tingin and saw Jane running towards Hugh. Agad na kumalat ang pait sa aking sistema. Umuna akong pumasok sa classroom and continued scrolling on my social media feed. I reacted heart on Karsyn's display profile, where she has won the Miss Intramurals, na ngayon ay 1.2k reacts na. We even celebrated at her house nung nanalo siya.

Iba talaga ang kamandag ng isang Miss Pascua.

In my peripheral vision, I saw Hugh sitting on his chair. I then felt him poke my side, nilingon ko siya as my right eyebrow raised.

Ako na naman kasi wala na ang Jane mo? Kuyaw.

Di niya natuloy ang kanyang sasabihin when Ma'am Castillo went inside as the bell rang. She then started discussing with the third quarter lesson.

The bell rang, it's snacks time. Tumayo ako at maglalakad na sana when Hugh held my left wrist. Napatingin ako sa kamay niyang nakahawak sa pulsuhan ko, before I can opened my mouth to talk.

"Vaughn!" Hindi tiningnan ni Hugh si Jane, he keeps on looking at me, analyzing my reaction. Napintas naman ang pasensya ko ng marinig ko ang nakakarinding boses ni Jane. Marahas kong hinila ang kamay ko mula sa pagkakahawak niya at agad na lumabas ng classroom. Nakita ko namang tumayo si Mika at sumunod sa akin.

Meron na ngang 'Dollyuh', may Jane pang sumisingit. Taenang buhay.

I went to the rooftop garden of the school. I just want to breathe, away from all the people that makes me emotional. Umupo ako sa isang mahabang upuan na nakalagay doon. Pumasok naman si Mika sa pintuan ng rooftop, I then felt her sat down beside me. Out of nowhere, she suddenly opens her arms wide. I sadly looked at Mika's eyes, as she looked at me in a comforting way. I hugged her and just stayed on her arms, she then patted my back gently. Mika's always here to comfort me.

"You, okay now?" After minutes of hugging me, she calmly talked. Hindi kami pumasok sa sumunod na subject. Para naman kaming walang pakialam, at least we experienced cutting classes.

"Nah." It's my emotions, specifically my feelings that I can't name.

"What you're feeling Dan, is jealousy." Dahan-dahan kong inangat ang ulo ko mula sa kanyang yakap. She softly smiled as she tucked some loose hairs on the back of my ear.

Jealousy?

"That green monster inside of you, gets overly irritated if a girl gets close to him, your heart clenches in pain if he smiles at her. And all you want is for that girl, to get lost. Like, it's your biggest block, but at the same time it's also your trigger. Where it makes you realize the unknown feelings, that you yourself don't know. There's always a thing that you can't deny, Dana, dahil sarili mo mismo ang magkakaila sayo. We just can't... lie to ourselves." Malamyos ang boses ni Mika as she talked with so many emotions in her eyes, as she watched the trees swayed, along with the wind. She then looks at me with a sad smile, as though she remembered something.

Did she experience something familiar?

"So, instead of keeping it to yourself, how about you tell him? Kasi Dana, mahirap ang magselos at masaktan, lalo na't alam mong wala ka namang karapatan." Gulat ko siyang tiningnan dahil may parte sa akin ang tinamaan.

Mahirap ang magselos kasi wala akong karapatan? Is that what I'm feeling?

"But remember Dana, the decision is all yours, you have the freedom to decide what you think is best for you." Napatango ako at tumitig na lamang sa maputing ulap na nasa langit. We peacefully sat on the bench, dinaramdam ang ganda ng panahon. Biglang tumunog ang cellphone namin ni Mika, I opened and it's our girls' group chat named 'League of Bitches'. Di ako niyan ah. Si Kreia ang nagpangalan habang si Nicholette naman ang gumawa.

Kreia the bad b***h: Hey bish, are you okay? Di na kayo pumasok ah?

Katalina the sexy b***h: Saan na kaayo?

Dahlia the flirty b***h: How dare you cut classes? Without me?!

I smiled when they showed their concern in different ways. Nilingon ko si Mika, she just placed the phone beside her. No plans of replying. Tumawa ako ng mahina as I typed my reply.

Dana the wild b***h: Sshh, don't worry, babalik din kami hahaha.

Dahlia the flirty b***h: @Dana Who said we were worried?

I chuckle as I read what Dahlia replied. In denial. The bell rang tanda na next subject na. Tumayo kami ni Mika at napag-desisyunan na bumalik na sa aming klase. Maingay na kasi ang group chat, as Karsyn and Nicholette asks what's happening. Chismosa talaga.

Pagpasok namin ng classroom ay ang masamang tingin ni Hugh and unang bumungad sa akin. Umasta naman akong parang wala lang and just sitted on my chair, kinuha ko ang phone ko and scrolled on my feed again.

"Where the hell were you?" Di ko siya pinansin, kinuha ko ang airpods ko and listened to my playlist. Mahina akong tumawa when I read a meme, pero tinamaan naman ako.

'Hindi ako nagseselos! Naiinis ako kasi ang pabebe ng nilalandi mo!'

Tama siya. Pabebe naman talaga. Para ngang tanga e.

When I was about to scroll once again, in a glimpse ay nawala sa kamay ko ang telepono ko. Naiinis ko namang nilingon si Hugh, kukunin ko na sana mula sa kanyang kamay, nang mabilis niya itong inilayo sa akin. I looked at him straight on his eyes, when I don't see him forfeiting anytime soon, ay umupo na lang ako sa upuan ko and get my academic book to read. May sasabihin sana siya ng pumasok ang susunod naming guro.

Why the hell can't he understand that I don't want to talk to him just yet?

Hugh now obviously noticed that I'm not just 'not on the mood phase' but it's about him, since he's not napping than usual. He had his right hand below his jaw while his eyes are looking far away. Napatitig naman ako sa kanya as I heard Mika's advice to tell him.

Pero paano si Jane?

And why the heck am I thinking about her?

Umiling ako and saktong napunta ang tingin ko kay Hugh na nakatitig sa akin, sinusuri ang galaw ko. Umarte ako ng walang nangyari and just set my focus with the discussion.

It's dismissal time and agad kaming lumabas ng room. Tumabi ako kay Mika at lumabi, telling her in my own gesture na mahirap ang magdesisyon. But she smiles and just patted my head. Habang naglalakad ay may kumuha ng bag ko na suot-suot ko, it was Hugh.

"We'll walk together, Leigh." He said voice filled with authority. Wala akong nagawa kundi ang tumabi sa kanya habang naglalakad pababa ng building, as he carries my bag on his right shoulder.

Why is walking with him a big deal?

This is just easy.

Naglalakad kami papuntang parking lot when I heard the b***h's voice.

"Vaughn!" Lumingon kami ng sabay ni Hugh, sino pa ba eh si Jane. Rinding-rindi na talaga ako sa kaka-Vaughn niya. Tumakbo siya papalapit sa amin pero ng malapit na siya kay Hugh ay bigla itong natisod, where Hugh immediately catches her, dahilan ng pagkahulog ng bag ko sa sahig.

I felt my heart drop as I watched my bag lying on the ground. Puno ng poot ang aking dibdib as I watched Hugh hold Jane's waist as he helped her regain her stance.

Ba't ba ang tanga-tanga niya? Sinasadya na niya ah!

Kinuha ko ang bag mula sa sahig at padabog na nilinis upang mawala ang dumi doon. Hugh notices my way of acting as he holds my bag and helped me clean it. Pero sa ginawa niya ay mas kumirot ang puso ko.

Face her, Hugh!

Smile at her!

Like you normally do!

Para matigil na ako sa kahibangan nato.

Napaiwas ako ng tingin when I felt my eyes sting, tears about to fall on the side of my eyes. Hahawakan sana ako ni Hugh when Jane held his hand and catch his attention. I then quickly blinked my tears away at nang maayos na ay nilingon ko sila, where I saw Hugh just blankly looking at her.

What's with that look, huh?

"Vaughn, birthday kasi ni Mommy tomorrow and I just want you to meet her." Napatigil naman ako sa pwesto ko. I know that she likes Hugh, because it's very obvious.

But really?

Invite him?

And what?

Meet her mom?

What is she thinking?

I await Hugh's answer, while a hopeful smile is on my lips. 'Di yan sasama, he's really not the sociable type.

But what he replied made me feel that he chose her.

That I'm the f*****g loser.

Nanghihina naman akong tumalikod sa pangalawang pagkakataon.

"Okay, Jane."

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sshandi