Finding my true mate

Life goes on... or so they say.

After we had broke up to say I was a mess was an understatement. My sister was there for me more than ever during this time but she also had her new boyfriend Jordan to spend time with and I refused to ruin any of her happiness because I was so depressed.

I tried to keep myself busy, between work and school I had a lot to keep busy. Collin and I still talked a lot actually. It was pathetic but I wanted him back so badly, I wasn't ready to let go of him completely.

I had called him one night late and some girl answered the phone.

"Hello?"

I sat there looking at the phone wondering why a girl was answering his phone. Did I dial the wrong number? I checked. no this was his number. I could hear Collin slurring his words in the background. He was completely wasted. Great.

"Um.. ya hi I need to talk to Collin. "

"he's not available to talk right now but I will let him know you called when he sobers up. okay?"

"um yeah sure okay. thanks bye." and with that I hung up and I was fuming. He didn't want a relationship but yet he was spending time with a girl and letting her answer his phone. What the f**k.

Whatever. He's clearly doing things with her and I will find out tomorrow for sure. 2 can play at this game.

I found out that her name was Randi and that they indeed had slept together, but they were not dating. Collin and I continued to have a lot of s*x. Almost like we were still together. Just no title and we could see anyone else as well... so think friend with benefits.

Jordan and I were walking and talking that day at school and this really cute guy came over to talk to Jordan. He looked at me and smiled and all it took was one look at his gorgeous eyes for me to be hooked. He introduced himself

"Hello gorgeous my name is Ray. Jordan told me you are Mitzys sister?"

"The one and only, my name is Kallie."

"Well hey Kallie, we should hang out sometime." He slipped me his number. I took it and put it in my pocket. "For sure. I'll text you so you have my number."

Well that was easy. I was determined to make Collin jealous. He didn't get to be the only one to go and have fun. My turn to show him that I'm wanted by other men too.

My dad ended up leaving a couple weeks after I met Ray on official pack business so my sister and I threw a party at the house. The other ranked members told us to just be careful and make sure that we cleaned everything up. We agreed. I invited Ray to the party and to my surprise he came.

"Hey! you came!"

"of course I came. I didn't want to pass up on more time getting to know you."

I smiled at him and we spend the night just talking, playing pool and twister and we had a really good time. Mostly though we had been drinking, ALOT and I took him to my room and we had s*x. To my surprise though, I could hardly even feel that he was in me. I had to fake every bit of that time and I got nothing out of it. This was only the second guy that I had s*x with and it was horrible, which instead of helping me forget Collin made me long for his kiss, his touch and his love even more.

I went to school the next day and I felt like absolute trash about sleeping with someone else. I knew Collin and I weren't together, but I still felt weird sleeping with someone else. Especially given that we were still having our time together here and there and it was always amazing. I could tell he still cared about me and that's why he was trying not to see me as much.

I was on my way to my sign language class and I had texted Collin. Time to make him jealous.

So you know you're not the only one that is having some fun.

-What are you talking about?

I am talking about the fact that I slept with someone and it was not you.

-What ?! why would you do that Kallie? That's disgusting! that's not who you are!

Why is it okay that you do it and when I do it I'm disgusting!? Double standard much?! Why do you even care anyway what I do!?

Leave me alone and don't talk to me anymore Kallie. You can forget about the chances of us ever being back together again.

With those words I felt tears stream down my cheeks. I ran into Jessica on the way to the bathroom and just cried. This was the end of my Junior year in high school. I was going to be a senior soon. It was going to be summer break soon and I had nobody to spend it with. Collin was mad at me... or jealous. I don't know what that was really but he doesn't even want to talk to me.

Jessica walked with me into the bathroom and helped me clean up my face. I told her everything that had happened.

"Well he's an i***t Kallie. He clearly thinks he has some claim on you that he doesn't! you are not his to tell what to do. He lost that when he decided to break up with you and be a man w***e."

"I know you're right Jess but it doesn't make it hurt any less ya know? I love him. My heart actually is hurting it truly feels like it is actually broken into pieces."

"I'm so sorry Kallie. You will get through this. I know you will. Now let's get back to class."

"I'm not going. I just want to go home Jess I really do."

She let out a sigh. "Okay come on I'll tale you home."

We waited until the bell rang for class to be over and we made our way out of the school. Luckily the security guard want there so we didn't get asked any questions. I was finally home in my room. Jessica decided to stay a while. We talked about everything that happened between Collin and I and after crying so much I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up it was dark outside and Jessica had left.

ugh what time is it? I thought to myself I reached over and looked at my phone. Oh my gosh. I slept all night it's nearly 3 am.

I had some messages on my phone so I decided to check them and it was Lynne.

-Hey I heard about you and Collin and everything that happened from Cody. are you okay ?!

yeah I mean I will be. I miss him so much though. I truly do love him.

-I know. and I'm sorry that you're dealing with this. I wish there was something I could do.

It's okay. I will get through this just like I get through everything else. We need to hangout soon. More drinking. Just the two of us. I could use that right now.

-You got it. let's get together later today. I'll pick you up on my way to work and then we can just hang out after work. You're staying the night. so pack a bag!

Yay girls night in sounds great. see you in a bit. thanks Lynne.

-Of course! see you in a bit.

The next few hours went by pretty quickly. I was texting Ray here and there and we were actually becoming pretty good friends. I was still sleeping with Collin off and on but I knew that needed to end before it ended badly. Like what happened when I told him about Ray. I was still hurt by his words.

Lynne came and picked me up. We had fun on our shift together like always and then we went to her place to stay the night and just drink away our pain. I was feeling pretty good right at that moment So I was texting Collin and he was with some girl apparently because when I called someone else answered.

"hello? if this is Kallie Collin doesn't really want to talk. he said he will call you later."

"why are you answering his phone in the first place?!"

"Well, because we are just hanging out at this party and he asked me to."

"you must be Roni." I said with venom in my voice.

"yes I am. I'll let him know..."

just before she finished Lynne grabbed the phone from me.

"Look here you ugly b***h, don't be talking to my friend like that. you are trash and you and Collin deserve eachother."

Roni hung up the phone. Lynne handed me the phone back. "There you go, problem solved." she said and smiled.

We were drunk. There's no doubt about that. we ended up falling asleep pretty quickly after that.

The next day I realized what had happened the day before. I picked up my phone and checked. There were no messages from literally anyone. I texted Collin.

Hey, are you mad at me?

-Yeah I am. Roni is nothing more than a friend. you two had no right to treat her that way.

A friend ? like Randi was?! Yeah okay. I'm not stupid. I know you two will end up together. whether you want to admit it or not. It's pretty obvious.

-No Kallie,  we are just friends. that is seriously all. I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this... whatever this is with you.

Well for what it's worth I am sorry.

With that the messages ended. I decided to text Ray but he wasn't responding.

ugh whatever.

The rest of school went by without any issues that year. Collin and I pretty much stopped talking all together because like I had said he and Roni ended up in a relationship and she didn't want him talking to me anymore. I guess with good reason but whatever.

I spent most of my summer with Lynne and she was definitely dating Cody by this time. It was weird hearing her talk about him, and Collin. She even met Roni. I didn't know how to feel about it so I just dealt with it all.

Summertime was filled with drinking, going out to the clubs and just all around fun times. I was getting over Collin. Something I never thought would happen. My mate, I had lost. I was hurt by it and worried I wouldn't have a second chance mate. I learned though from my father that we actually didn't mark eachother and he was mated to me before I turned 18, so from what the elders had said, that would be null and void so to speak. So whatever mate I was going to have, I still had a chance to have a second chance mate in the event that for whatever reason we didn't accept eachother or it didn't work out.

I was in no rush to find that mate at this time though. After everything had happened with Chris and Collin and even with Ray, I was just over the idea of the mate bond right now. I just wanted to have fun and maybe date someone until I found that special mate that I use to want more than anything else in the entire world.

After summer ended I went to register for school. Jessica and I went together. I saw alot of familiar faces. Even Zon was there. He was a boy that tried to get my attention all throughout my sophomore and junior year but I was all about Chris and then Collin During those times that it just never happened. It looked like he found a girl though. I saw him and smiled and waived from across the cafeteria.

When we finished registering, we decided to go get something to eat. When Jessica had to get back home she dropped me off and then I texted Lynne. We made plans to hang out when she was done with her registration.

We decided to hang out at her place and I found out that Collin and Roni were still together. -vomit.

"Well good for them" I said and rolled my eyes.

"Sorry Kallie. I know you were hoping for him to change his mind and come back to you like he told you he would."

"Yeah well I guess he changed his mind. this is no longer a break. it's a break up with out a doubt and it's whatever. I am done with all that! I have just a month and a half until I turn 18. I am going to make senior year worth it!"

"hell yeah! too bad we don't go to the same school though!"

I nodded. Lynne went to Liberty and I went to Harlton. It wasn't far apart but not the same and it was crap because I really wanted her there.

The good news was though that after I finished my tutoring for the first half of school and passed my exams, I would be able to only have 3 classes! I couldn't wait for that!

I started thinking about homecoming and all of that. I wasn't the type to ask guys. and Ray was being weird. He had a girlfriend and I was so mad that he had lied. I didn't need the drama.

I got to my history class and his girlfriends sister was sitting in front of me. She turned around to face me "why are you telling people that you has s*x with Ray?"

"What? I'm not telling people that. we didn't." I replied I didn't want this. and in my offense I didn't know he was with anyone!

"Well he's saying that you're mad because he told you he wouldn't go to prom with you. "

"mmmm. yeah no. I'm not telling anyone that so I don't know what you're talking about." I said and went back to doing my class work.

seriously !?

yeah thats insane. why would he even think you wanted him to go to prom with you? we haven't even started thinking about that yet. was a dumb a** 

Yeah. I'm so over that s**t but I'm going to text him and find out why the f**k that rumor is even being spread. the only one i told was Jessica. so I don't know.

I texted Ray

Tell me why your little girlfriends sister confronted me about why I'm telling people we had s*x and said you said it's because I asked you to prom and you said no?! 

-Ugh yeah sorry about that, Whitney wouldn't leave it alone. I had to come up with something. if you're not telling people then who is ?

gee I don't know Ray! but it's not be so stop making me seem like I want you because I don't!

I put my phone down a little too aggressively and got a look from one of my guy friends. They mouthed are you okay ? I just nodded. So over the drama. When did this become my d**n life !?

I let out a sigh and thankfully the bell rang. I stayed back and made sure Rion left before I didn't. I didn't feel like getting in a fight over something that wasn't even my fault to begin with. I never would have slept with Ray had I known he was with someone.

I was excited for my last class of the day. I was an office aid. I was taking an early dismissal slip to a class when one of the classroom doors were opened. As I was walking by, I glanced into the classroom and there sat Jacob we made eye contact and I quickly turned away. . Oh my gosh he is so hot. I could feel my insides heat up. Wow okay then.

Every day for the next few weeks I hoped I would get a slip for that class so I could see him again. Jacob and I had gone to school together since 3rd grade. We were both super shy and never really talked much. So if he was anything to me, it would take one of us to suck up our shyness and approach the other. I never really saw him at school and he was never around when I was home really.

I let it go and gave up after trying really hard to take specific routes to run into him failed. Oh well. I guess it isn't meant to be.

My 18th birthday was approaching and I didn't know what I was going to do. It was on fall break so I was going to be out of school. I needed to make sure I did something though.

I made plans with Lynne to hang out and go to the pool hall with a couple of guys she knew. We were going to have a good time. Cody was going to come. Which was fine, maybe if he saw how happy I was and that I was hanging out with other guys he would report back to Collin and tell him and he would be jealous.

Why do I even care. This was becoming annoying. I felt crazy. Did what we had mean nothing to him so much so that he moved on so fast into another relationship? I don't understand. I needed to do the same though.

2 weeks later

I woke up the morning of my birthday super excited for the day. I was ready to get out of the house. I slept in later than normal so I had basically missed breakfast. I checked my phone and I had a ton of messages all telling me happy birthday.

I got in the shower and then proceeded to get ready for the day. Lynne was picking me up early so we could 'pre game' with some of her parents stash.

A few hours later Lynne showed up. I was so happy that my birthday was at the beginning of the month and not so close to the fill moon. I wanted to shift but not on my birthday. I heard it was painful and I didn't want another painful birthday. Last year I lost my virginity on my birthday. This year. No pain.

After spending some time at Lynne's house the guys came and picked us up to take us to the pool hall. We spend the night playing and talking and laughing. This was a great birthday. I was so happy to be out of the house.

I was looking around when out of the corner of my eye I saw someone who strongly resembled Collin. I actually almost thought it was him but after a closer look realized it wasn't.

"Kallie hello earth to Kallie!" Lynne pulled me out of my daze.

"Oh sorry. I thought I saw someone. what's up?"

"Well we are ready to go but who did you think you saw? " she said raising her brow.

"I thought it was Collin" I gestured in the direction of the unknown person.

"Ah, that's Mitch White. Or White Mitch as some call him."

My jaw hit the floor "You know him?!"

"Kallie I know a lot of people " she said giggling. "Want me to introduce you?"

"Uh yeah I mean, sure..?"

She locked arms with me and we made our way over. "Hey Mitch!" she said.

"Hey! what's up ?"

"I noticed you from over there, and thought we would come say hi." she said gesturing towards the table we were at before. "This is my friend Kallie" She said introducing me.

"Nice to meet you"I said shyly.

"you too. What are yall up to tonight?"

"Oh its Kallies birthday. we are about to head out. Text me later okay?" she said and took my arm.

Right as we were walking towards the doors I heard him call out my name "Hey Kallie, Happy birthday by the way." I tuned and smiled "Thank you." I said and we walked out to the car.

I stayed the night with Lynne that night. We drank some more and then just went to sleep.

School was boring. Work was uneventful and the only things I had to look forward to at this point was my shift.

When the full moon came, I went out to the highest point so I could harness all the power from the moon, as well as my goddess given powers through my ancestors.

I stripped out of my clothes because I didn't want to ruin them. We weren't like the Hulk, we didn't get to keep pants on when we transformed.

All of a sudden I felt all of my bones cracking and twisting. This was horrible. The sounds of the bones was such a horrible sound and the pain was so intense. I thought I might pass out. I had told my sister to meet me up there in about an hour before I left the house so that our wolves could meet and I wanted to know what mine looked like of course. Just before I finished my transformation I saw Mitzy approaching.

"Kristy?"

"Yes, can I meet Dawn now please?"

"Yes of course. It's just you... you're... an amethyst wolf Kallie... or uh Kristy...I have never seen that before."

Mitzy shifted into her wolf Dawn and they played together for the rest of the night. We shifted back and changed into our clothes as soon as we noticed that it was getting close to the sun coming up.

We headed back to the packhouse and went to our own rooms and slept pretty much for the rest of the day.

My sister and I had bonded in a way not everyone in the world could. This was the best day I have had since I had lost Collin. Things were starting to look up.