Within the Sapphire Forest

Chapter 11

I couldn’t remember the last time in my life had passed out as much as I did in those two days. I couldn’t exactly blame myself for it, and it did help me escape from the pain, it just seemed cowardly and weak.

Yet, the feeling of floating, of being free of everything that hurt me or held me back, made all the worry and self doubt vanish from my mind. I couldn’t stop the feeling of warmth and glee that spread through me.

Then, I heard someone calling for me. It was soft at first, too quiet to hear properly, so I listened more carefully. Then, I heard it again.

“Evianna, please wake up. Please. You can’t leave me like this, I only just found you. Please, please.”

Something wet and warm fell on my face. I reached up to wipe it away, but my body stopped moving. I was floating, but I was trapped within myself.

I fought for control as the soft voice said, “I love you so much, please come back to me.”

I’m trying, I thought. Please, don’t go, I’m coming.

My body felt lighter and lighter, and the voice faded out. I still couldn’t move, but I just couldn’t fight it anymore. I needed to rest a bit more before I tried again.

I don’t know how long I floated through the emptiness, but I enjoyed it. It calmed me, refreshed me, and when I heard someone calling out to me, I was able to force my way back to it.

I opened my eyes to see soft lights over me. I looked around slowly, and saw that I was in what looked like a large hospital room, complete with monitors, IV bags, pale blue curtains, and steel counters. I looked down to see I was covered in a thick, soft blanket and laying on the stereotypical hospital bed with those stupid white rails that made me feel trapped.

In the corner, on a plain wooden chair, sat my wolf, arms crossed over his chest, his head dropped back as he snored softly.

The bleach smell, the beeping monitors, the needles in my arms all made me feel claustrophobic and anxious. My breathing became ragged as my heart sped up. I wanted out, I wanted the needles out of my arms, I wanted my clothes back and my bed. I couldn’t handle it, nothing felt right.

The monitors beeped in rhythm with my heart, and an alarm went off when it spiked too high, and my oxygen dropped too low. Caden jolted out of his sleep, eyes darting to me in a second.

“Oh, thank God, I was so worried,” he said, moving to my side.

Then he registered my panic, and his face twisted in worry.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, “Are you hurting? Is it your leg?”

“I can’t be here. This isn’t right. I need to go home. Help me up, I’m going home,” I said, my voice pitchy, as I tried to pull the needle out of my arm.

“No,” he told me, holding my hands steady in his.

I tried to pull out of his grip, but he wouldn’t budge.

“You can’t, you need to stay here. You were pretty badly hurt, and you’ve been unconscious for four days.”

I froze, and looked toward my leg. There was a giant lump in place of my leg, a cast to keep me in one piece. I couldn’t help the sob that escaped me. I was a freaking mess, broken and bruised and weak, and all I wanted was my soft, warm bed with all of my creatures in the next room. I wanted my comforting blankets and candles, things that smelled like me and my home, not this sterile disgusting place.

An older blonde woman rushed in, her white coat fluttering behind her. She held a binder close to her chest as she scanned the room quickly, assessing the situation.

“Welcome back. How are you feeling?” she asked softly, trying to comfort me. 

It only made me cry harder. I didn’t want people to comfort me, and look down on me with pity, I just wanted to go home.

“Doc, what’s going on?” Caden questioned, terrified.

“She’s been through a lot, it’s completely normal for her to express her emotions like this. I once had a patient stare into space, completely zoned out, for six hours straight. He was fine, but he just couldn’t process his emotions at the time and that’s how he dealt with it all.”

I began hyperventilating, so Doc quickly placed an oxygen mask over my face.

“What can we do?” Wolfie asked.

“I can give her some medication to calm her down. It should make her sleep for a while.”

At the mention of sleep, I began panicking even more. I shook my head violently, nearly knocking myself out on the rails.

Melissa burst into the room, gaining the wolves attention. Of course she just had to make an entrance. Then, I saw what she had in her hands.

My s**t! My blankets, my pillows, my fairy lights, and books, candles, bath products, and even my Cookie Dough.

Cookie Dough was a stuffed white rabbit, one of the last things my mother ever gave me.

“s**t, you were not supposed to wake up until I fixed this room. Damn it, you ruin everything,” she whined, holding my rabbit out to me. 

I ripped my mask off, to the dismay of the doctor, and gripped the stuffed animal tight, focusing on its smell. It was soft and warm, and smelled like my house, of pine trees and fresh air. I was able to calm down a little, and the monitor stopped sounding off that stupid alarm.

“See, I told you she’d love it,” Melissa boasted, earning a glare from the werewolves.

“I didn’t say she wouldn’t love it,” Caden argued, “I just said it probably wasn’t the best time for it.”

“See, I think I should have done this yesterday, made this place more comfortable for her when she woke up so we avoided this,” Missy gestured to my pathetic form as I sobbed softly.

“It’s just her pent up emotions, she’ll be okay soon,” he insisted.

“No, she’s miserable in this stale environment, just let me liven it up a bit, give something to make her smile.”

They argued back and forth about my well being while I clung to my bunny. After a few minutes of carefully breathing, I felt better, and couldn’t handle their stupid bickering.

“Just shut the f**k up,” I hissed at them. 

Doc heard me, but the other two didn’t seem to catch a word.

“That’s enough,” Doc growled, silencing them. “You two are not helping at all, right now. I get that you both want what’s best for her, but she is conscious now. She can make decisions for herself.”

She turned to me, effectively cutting off their protest.

“It’s nice to officially meet you, Evianna. My name is Doctor Rochelle Stanson, but most people just call me Doc.”

I nodded, not fully prepared to carry on a conversation.

Doc went on to explain how she had to operate, but I missed most of the medical jargon and intricate details of the process. The only thing I needed to know was that I underwent surgery, and my leg was in a specialized cast, meant to let my stitches heal while also holding my bones in place. I thought I heard something about muscle tearing, but by that point I was too depressed to care anymore. 

I wasn’t going to leave that room any time soon. I wasn’t going home, wasn’t going to see my creatures, or sleep in my own bed. I was a prisoner, held hostage by my own body.

Melissa redecorated, throwing up the fairy lights, exchanging the hospital blankets and pillows for my own. Doc wouldn’t let her light the candles so she just set them out with my books and the bag that held my bathroom supplies.

“I have to go,” Melissa said, once everything was in place. “I have a few errands to run before I head back to your place to feed the creatures.”

I nodded, not looking up at her. She sighed, and left quietly.

“Evianna, talk to me,” Caden pleaded softly.

I turned to avoid looking at him. Goddess, I was so weak, so pathetic, pouting in that stupid room. Why did I have to be born a witch, in a fragile body that broke too damn easily?

“Alpha, I think she needs more rest,” Doc said softly, interrupting the awkward silence.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Caden muttered. 

He exited the room quickly without another word.

“You know he’s really worried about you, right? In the past four days, he’s left your side only to eat and use the bathroom,” Doc informed me.

“He shouldn’t have stayed here,” I whispered, feeling my frustration and sorrow well up inside me and pour out in the form of salty tears. “He needs a werewolf by his side to help him lead this pack, and I’m a fragile, broken witch who can’t even remain conscious for more than a few hours anymore. He’s better off without me.”

Doc stroked my hair while I cried, trying to be as comforting as any medical professional could be.

“You’re not fragile or broken. If it wasn’t for you, Nathan would have taken over the pack and killed off over half of the members. You saved them during the fight, and without your healing mixtures, many of the wolves would still be in this hospital, fighting for their lives. The entire pack is so grateful to you.”

I shook my head. I didn’t care. At that moment, all I could think about was how guilty I felt for being a witch.

“Can I please give you something to help you sleep? It will make you feel a whole lot better,” she asked.

I nodded, no longer able to deny the pain that leeched its way through my body. She injected something into the tubing connected to the IV bag and my arm. I was out in minutes, clinging to Cookie.

That’s how I spent the following week. When I was awake, I dwelled only in the land of self pity, until I drifted off to sleep again.

Melissa and Caden visited often, but I hardly talked to them, or anyone. I couldn’t bring myself to even look at them. They deserved someone better than me.

After a week of moping, Melissa burst into the room, all serious determination.

“Alright, I’m done,” she announced, pulling my blankets off of me.

“What are you doing?” I snapped, reaching for it.

“You’re done moping, you’re done pouting, no more wallowing and crying and bitching and feeling sorry for yourself. You’re done. Doc said you’re stable enough to move, so guess the f**k what, chicka, we’re going out.”

“I can’t,” I argued, gesturing to my leg. “I can’t exactly walk around anywhere, or take a bath, or use the god damned toilet by myself, so why the f**k would I want to go out looking like f*****g mess?”

“You can, you’re just too busy feeling sorry for yourself,” she growled back. “Now, we can do this the easy way, or we can do this hard way, your choice.”

I glowered at her, refusing to move from the bed.

Missy shrugged and said, “Fine, have it your way.”

She leaned out to the hall and called for someone. A second later, a woman walked in. She couldn’t have been much older than us, with short blonde hair, and kind hazel eyes. Except, her kind eyes held a mischievous secret in them, and I grew skeptical of their plan.

“Evianna, this is Elise. Elise, Evianna. Now, time to go.” 

They flanked the bed and detached all the wires and needles from me before pulling me to the edge of the bed, careful of my leg.

I fought them, shouting for them to let me go, but they held on tight. While Elise held me steady, Melissa stripped me out of the hospital gown and underwear. I blushed furiously, but neither of them seemed to care.

“Now, you can wash yourself, or I can wash you, and if you make me wash your stank ass, I will never be able to look at you the same way again.”

I ripped the washcloth she held out to me out of her hand and began furiously scrubbing my skin. I was so pissed off at them, I couldn’t even feel how raw I was scrubbing my skin, I only saw as it turned red. Once that was done, they dressed me in shorts and a shirt, and pulled a chair up to the sink. Then Melissa washed my hair, and braided it for me.

Then, Elise pushed in a wheelchair and they helped me into it.

“What are we doing?” I questioned as Melissa wrapped my legs in a smaller blanket and Elise filled a bag with some medical s**t that I wasn’t paying much attention to.

“We’re going to tour the community, get you some fresh air, some sunshine, maybe talk to some new people. You need to get out of this room.”

“I’m fine in here, really. No one needs to see me like this,” I protested.

“Like what? Beat the f**k up, cause literally no one cares how f****d up you look. The only they’re going to care about is your attitude and right now, you have the pissiest attitude I’ve ever seen you have. I mean, who the f**k are you right now, cause my best friend is not this pathetic. She’s strong, damn near unbreakable, she never lets the bad times get her down. This isn’t you, so pull yourself together and let's get on with this,” Melissa scolded.

“I want to but I can’t!” I yelled, forcing Melissa back. “You don’t get it. You’re perfectly okay hurting people to protect yourself, I’m not! I can’t even hurt a fly without crying about it and keeps getting me into trouble! I feel weak, pathetic. I’m not good enough for anyone, because when it comes down to it, I can’t hurt anyone!” I was dripping snot and tears, and my breathing was becoming more and more desperate. “What would have happened if you, or Caden, or anyone trying to protect me had gotten seriously hurt? I wouldn’t have been able to do anything! I would have sat there and cried like a weak little b***h!”

The light above us exploded as my frustration reached its peak. I couldn’t hold anything back anymore. I was raw and hurt and so damn tired of feeling like I was useless, but I didn’t know what to do about it. The glass sliding doors shattered, medical equipment flew across the room, and monitors fritzed out, beeping and blacking out.

Melissa grabbed Elisa and ran out into the hallway. I heard shouting, but I wasn’t done yet. All of my pent up feelings were free and I couldn’t reign them in. The ceiling caved in around me, the floor cracked, the bed flew into the hall, spreading glass everywhere, while I cried out my frustration.

Finally, I couldn’t cry anymore. I didn’t have anything left in me to fight, and the room settled in its chaotic state.

Melissa tentatively entered the room, stepping around fragments of the ceiling and glass shards.

“Do you feel better?” she asked, softly.

“Surprisingly, yes,” I answered, smiling for the first time in almost two weeks.

“It’s really not that surprising,” Elise commented as she followed Melissa into the room. “I mean, you technically reacted the same way almost anyone in your situation would, by venting and throwing a fit, but you just have a s**t ton of magic behind you.”

“What the hell happened?”

We turned to the hall to see Doc staring at us in complete shock. She blinked rapidly, her eyebrows furrowed as she tried desperately to grasp what had happened.

Guilty, I looked down to my lap.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “I’ll help clean it up.”

“No, I’ll clean it up,” Elise offered. “If you hurt yourself further trying to clean this up, I think Alpha Caden would have a complete meltdown. I’m still recovering from my last punishment, I’m not looking for a new one.”

“Last punishment?” I asked, confused.

“Yeah, Alpha Caden was furious that Nathan was able to get so close to you, so he sentenced me to severe community service. I just finished mowing everyone’s lawns yesterday, painted houses, organized the community closet, built fences and fixed windows. I’m glad that’s all he did to me. The traitors were all locked in the newly redesigned dungeon and I don’t think you want to know what’s happening to them.”

“Oh my Goddess, I’m so sorry,” I expressed.

“Honestly, it’s okay. He gave me a very direct order that I failed to follow, and it almost cost you your life. It definitely could have been worse,” she replied.

Elise seemed totally compliant with her punishment, so it made it hard for me to feel bad about it. I did, however, feel awful for the mess.

“Well, the least I can do is help with this mess. I caused it. I should clean it.”

“How do you propose you clean this?” Doc asked, still dumbfounded.

I smirked, and refocused my energy. I still had plenty to spare after laying in bed for as long as I did. I focused on the energy flowing out of me and onto all the debris, lifting it into the air. Elise gasped and jumped back as parts of the ceiling floated past her into the hall. I focused it all together, making it a nice big pile outside the shattered door. Then I put the bed back in place and anything that wasn’t damaged found a spot on the counter or the bed.

Everything was cleaned up, but the room was not in livable condition. Wires from the ceiling hung low, and the medical equipment was unusable, to say the least, and the floor was a second away from falling out from underneath us. Melissa and Elise quickly gathered up the rest of my things and pushed me out into the hall.

“Um, Evianna, I don’t think you can stay here anymore,” Doc muttered, staring at the ceiling. “I think it’s damaging your mental health, and my hospital.” 

I nodded my understanding, and the girls quickly hauled me out of the building before Doc could fully recognize what happened. I’m sure they were afraid of her exploding in a fury and just wanted to make space.

We exited the building into the warm sunlight of a world I almost didn’t recognize.