Playing Our Song

Chapter 4

Chapter 4For the fourth day in a row, Jase tried to create new material for the band, and it wasn’t working. His brain felt fried, and his body restless. He hung up the phone with Shaun after confirming everyone from the band had other plans. Andrew was still out of town. Jase let out a ragged breath.

He took his guitar and strummed his fingers down the cords. “Fuck.” His mind remained blank. Inspiration had been lacking to the point of non-existent in the past few months, and for a short while, it’d come back. But now, again, nothing. He stood, put his guitar on the stand, and grabbed his car keys. It was time to escape. For him to break out of his head, and a drive would allow that.

He popped on his sunglasses as he pulled out of his driveway with no destination in mind. For twenty minutes, he drove with no idea of where to go. The beach access road sign came into sight, and Jase turned his car. His tight muscles loosened.

He pulled into the lot of one of the more private beaches and sat outside, absorbing the sun and listening to the wave’s rhythmic sound. As the sun set, he enjoyed the relaxed state the afternoon had helped him achieve.

He left the beach and moved on to the second reason he took the earlier turn. At The Cove, he spotted Garrett’s truck right away. Relief washed over him. He hadn’t realized until then how much he needed not to be alone.

Jase grabbed his baseball cap from the dash board, and put it on, covering up his most recognizable feature. As he walked through the parking lot, the music floated through the air. He stepped inside the restaurant, and Garrett’s smooth voice washed over Jase, lulling his remaining restlessness. He absorbed the music and wondered why Garrett couldn’t recognize his talent?

Jase kept his head down as he weaved his way through the people on his trip over to the crowded bar. Two girls were nice enough to let him squeeze in to grab a drink, then he headed to a spot against the wall where he could listen. The last song faded into the night, and Jase grabbed another beer. He strode to where Garrett sat, putting away his guitar. As Jase moved closer, Garrett peered over his shoulder.

“Hey. What are you doing here?” Garrett’s smile told Jase he didn’t mind Jase just stopping over.

The knot in Jase’s stomach untied. “I grew stir crazy at home. Needed a fresh space.”

Jase handed Garrett a beer, then pulled a chair over.

Garrett took a swig of the beer, and his body relaxed. “How are things with the new album?”

Jase hesitated for a moment. Maybe he needed this. To talk to someone concerning the rut he’d been facing. Gain insight into what he was missing. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath, then opened his eyes. “Shitty,” spilled from his lips.

Garrett leaned forward, his brows furrowed, and a frown marred his face. “What do you mean?”

“I’m trying to come up with new material. In two months, we’re back in the studio, and I’m working with nothing.”

“What’s the problem?” The concern emanating from Garrett helped Jase share his fears.

“I don’t have a clue. I had a couple of decent days, and now I’m stuck. Everything I write turns into the same tune. There’s nothing else. I keep hitting a wall.” Jase’s shoulders sagged, and the usual nerves he’d been dealing with came crashing back, causing an ache in his stomach.

“What do you think’s holding you back?”

Jase scrubbed his eyes. “I have no idea.”

“Has this happened in the past?”

“No. Maybe.” Jase’s gaze moved to his fidgeting hands. “Back when I first started writing for the band. When I first started having deadlines—the stress would block my brain. But since then, no, I haven’t had a problem. I have no idea why whatever is happening is happening now.”

“I can see the stress being a problem,” Garrett said. “If I sit, ready to write, I have the hardest time. It’s once I’m busy doing something else that the ideas come to me. That’s the reason I’m always traveling with a notebook.”

“Me too,” Jase agreed. “But right now, the pages are blank. The flow’s dried up.” Jase took a drink. Both men sat silently—Jase with too many thoughts. Then one pushed forward, and with no filter, Jase blurted out, “We should do something together.”

Garrett twitched. “What?”

“s**t. Why didn’t that come to me sooner? We should write something together.”

“Yeah, right.” Garrett smiled and rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, right. It’s a wonderful idea.” Goosebumps covered Jase’s arms. “Your style is just what the band needs.”

“I’m sure something’ll come to you.” Garrett peeled pieces of the label from his beer, no longer looking at Jase. “I don’t think you need my help.”

“That’s exactly what I need,” Jase insisted. “You’re really good.”

“Thank you.” A flush swept across Garrett’s face.

“I’m serious. Your songs rock.” The urge to shake Garrett was strong. “Together, we could do something great.”

Garrett continued to pick at the beer label. “I’m sure whatever you write will end up awesome, but I’m not sure I could add anything to it.”

Jase fisted his hands and whispered, even though he wanted to shout. “Bullshit.” Jase had had enough.

“Your songs are as impressive as any I’ve written.”

Garrett’s laugh sounded hollow. “I’m not too sure about that, but thank you!”

“You need to cut yourself a break.”

Garrett just shook his head.

Jase wasn’t letting Garrett get away with it. They’d be great together, and he just needed to show Garrett. “What are your plans for the weekend?”

“Um, not sure.” Hesitation filled Garrett’s voice.

Jase sat straighter, and then Garrett looked up, and Jase held Garrett’s gaze. “You’re not working?” Jase asked.

“Not during the day. I rarely work my day job on the weekends unless there’s an emergency. And I don’t start here until six-thirty.”

Jase’s heart did a happy dance. “Let’s do this. How early do you wake up?”

“On days I’m off, I usually wake up at seven.” As Garrett spoke, his eyes remained wide open, and the vibration of his bouncing leg radiated through their table. Garrett slipped his hand under the table to help keep his leg still, making Jase want to laugh.

Jase felt sorry for Garrett, but not enough to give him a break and stop pressuring him. No way. Jase had a good feeling regarding them collaborating. Too good to ditch the idea. And the fact Jase knew whatever they’d come up with together would be great wasn’t the only reason he wanted this to happen. It’d also help foster Garrett’s confidence. Jase again, wasn’t sure why Garrett not accepting his own talent upset him so much.

“Why don’t you head over to my house at eight?” Jase typed his address into his phone as he spoke and sent the information to Garrett. “We’ll have plenty of time before you need to be back here.”

“Um. Yeah. Okay. I guess. I think it’ll be a waste of time, but I’ll meet you.”

“Perfect. And don’t freak out over it. If nothing happens, it’s okay. At least we tried. Although I know, it’ll be great.” Jase clanked his beer with Garrett’s as confirmation.

“If you say so.” Garrett’s disbelief showed in his half frown.

“I say so.” Jase dropped his phone on the table and leaned back in his seat. His smile was so big it hurt. Psyched, he couldn’t wait for Saturday. He wouldn’t waste time worrying about Garrett’s doubt. Once they started, Garrett would have a front-row seat to the magic. Jase had no doubt they’d be able to do this. And it would be perfect. Better than perfect. “I’ll even take care of breakfast and coffee. Just bring yourself.”

“Sounds good.” Garrett checked the time. “s**t. I need to head out. I didn’t realize how late it is. I start early tomorrow.”

“All right. Just remember. Saturday. Bright and early. I don’t want a call telling me you have to cancel.”

Garrett laughed. “Yes, mom. I understand,” he said, then stood and grabbed his guitar.

Jase looked around the bar. He hadn’t realized most people had left.

Jase stopped at Garrett’s truck. “I’m excited.”

“I can tell,” Garrett said with a corner of a smile, and Jase was curious if it was Jase bouncing on his feet or his huge smile that told Garrett just how thrilled Jase felt.

“I’ll see you, Saturday.” Jase turned to head toward his car.

“See you then.”

* * * *

Jase woke up with a jolt. He was having a dream, and he thought the noise he was hearing was a part of it. He had no idea how long it was before he realized it was the ringing of his phone.

What time is it? The lack of light seeping around the blinds made it hard to decipher how early it was. Jase wasn’t sure if the darkness meant night or if the clouds expected for the next three days covered the sun. His only clue was the tiredness in his bones, saying it was too early o’clock. Concerned the call might be an emergency, Jase pressed the talk button, not taking the second to see who was calling.

“Hm. Hello.” His words came out on a yawn.

“Jase. That you?” Andrew’s voice sounded garbled, their connection was terrible.

“Andrew. I can’t hear you.”

“Sorry. I’m borrowing a phone, and it’s a piece of shit.” Static crackled through the line. “Wanted to check-in. We’re heading to one of the small islands, and I don’t think there’ll be any phone service once we arrive, so I won’t be able to talk to you until Tuesday.”

“Oh.” Jase fought his disappointment. He missed Andrew. Caught in thought, Jase missed what Andrew said next. “Huh?”

“What are you doing this weekend?”

“Garrett and I are working on new songs.”

“Really. His parents will let him out?” Jase had discovered what Garrett’s day job was, and he told Andrew, so now he liked to pick on Garrett about it. Andrew believed mowing lawns, even though that was only part of what Garrett did, was a job for an eleven-year-old boy. Not something a grown man should do.

“How was the shoot so far?” Jase asked.

“Same as always. It sucked. The days and nights are too long, and I’m exhausted.” Andrew let out a breath that sounded over the static.

“Only a few more days, then you’ll be home, and you can relax.”

“The photographer said we might stay longer. He’s thinking of reshooting something, but he needs to check the weather.”

Jase was ready for Andrew to come home. “So, you don’t know what day you’ll be home?”

“No. It’s not up to me,” Andrew said, his voice curt.

“I know, babe. I just want to make sure you realize how much I miss you. You came home, then left right away.”

“It’s not my fault. It’s my job. What do you want me to do? Quit?” Andrew’s voice was choppy, but the tone told Jase Andrew was upset.

Shit. Jase hadn’t wanted to put Andrew in a bad mood before his shoot. “Andrew, I didn’t—”

“I can’t afford not to work. If you want to support me, I’ll stay home twenty-four seven.”

“No, babe. I understand.” Jase sputtered, trying to calm Andrew. Jase blamed Andrew’s attitude on his exhaustion. “It just sucks when you’re not here with me. I miss you.”

“Well, it doesn’t sound like you miss me. You seem to be fine, spending your time with Garrett.”

Where’d that come from? “Listen, hon. I’m sorr—”

“I have to go. Mike is calling us to head out.”

The phone went silent. The call had ended.

Andrew’s last words played in a loop in Jase’s head. Did Andrew have a problem with Garrett? It didn’t make sense. Their connection had sucked—he must have misheard Andrew.

Jase put the phone on the nightstand and rolled onto his back. His stomach muscles tightened as he rethought his conversation with Andrew. Something had been off. He tried again to blame the harshness of the call on the connection, but he had a strong feeling it had been something more. But he couldn’t figure out what. He tossed and turned in bed, unable to get comfortable or clear his mind.

He stopped fighting, and crawled out of bed, headed to the great room, and picked up his guitar as he went to sit. His focus needed a change of direction, and writing always helped. But that was the problem. He hadn’t been kidding when he’d told Garrett he’d been in a slump. Jase’s brain shut off all creativity.