Taboo Pleasures

My Brother's Forbidden Touch>:Ch-6

"I know I told you not to call me names like pretty or cute, but that was when I was a little girl. I still don't like fake compliments from people who just feel guilty that they're not handicapped.

"I'm not a girl anymore, Dan. I'm a woman and I think I can tell a sincere compliment, and I think I want somebody to notice when I'm trying to be nice to look at, even if I don't understand what that means."

"Rae, you're..." I started, then we sat in silence for a few heart beats.

"Am I nice to look at, Dan?"

"Rae, you're the prettiest girl I know."

"Humph."

"You are," I stated like I could prove it.

"I'm not deaf, Dan. I hear things. I heard things: people talking on campus and at your games. I'm pretty sure all the cheerleaders were gorgeous. Ours and from the other teams. That's what they're known for, isn't it? From what I heard, you knew almost all of them. Some you knew better than others."

She was grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

"What I heard is you knew some of them quite well."

Her grin grew even wider.

"And often. Sometimes more than one at a time even.

"I always wondered how they managed not to pull each others' hair out when you were with one of our cheerleaders, one from Penn State, and one from Florida, at the same time."

I was happy Raven couldn't see my face, or feel the heat my embarrassment generated. We never talked about our love lives, and I felt shocked that she seemed to know quite a lot about mine, right down to embarrassingly accurate details.

It wasn't like any of them meant anything to me, it was just s*x. I felt some relief that she hadn't mentioned my only serious girlfriend ever, in high school.

"What about Karen?" Raven continued, and burst that bubble of hope for me.

"All those cheerleaders and Karen? Are you saying I'm prettier than any and all of them?"

Raven had managed to iterate the entire litany of my love life in just a few sentences.

"As far as I'm concerned you are. I love you, Raven, and people say the ones you love are better looking than people you don't care about."

Raven looked thoughtful for a brief moment, though her smile didn't dissipate.

"I know you love Karen. You always did, and you always will."

Raven and I met Karen when we were all in kindergarten together. The two girls were immediately bosom buddies, and eventually I was drawn into the friendship.

Raven, of course, always had my first priority. We're twins, and I needed to protect her.

Nobody questioned it when Karen and I started dating in high school. We were practically inseparable anyway. After close to a year of dating, after our senior prom, she decided it was time.

She wanted to have my virginity, and give me hers.

I almost did the unthinkable though, and as I filled the condom inside her with my seed, I almost moaned the wrong girl's name, so I understood when she told me it wasn't right, because I had almost called my sister's name as I came inside Karen. She felt like she had just f****d her own brother, and she couldn't do that anymore.

That reminded me of the last time Raven had come to my bed for comfort, before she and Mom left to get Boston, I had moaned Raven's name while I had a dream about us and Raven sitting up in my bed woke me.

Raven had come to my bed while I slept that night because she was worried about her trip, and she was lying next to me, against me, when I had my dream.

I knew she must have felt it, and she had to know she was the one in my dream because I moaned her name as it happened. I realized what had happened when she stormed out of my room without a word.

I had three weeks to stew about how much she must hate me, but nothing changed when she got back from California. She was still the sweet, affectionate sister I had always known, except she never crawled into my bed again, no matter how scared, sad or lonely she was.

I missed that.

"Are you telling me I'm even prettier than Karen? She told me why you two quit dating. She thought it was like dating her brother. She thought it would be different after you two had s*x, but that still felt like her brother, and she couldn't do it. I don't get that, but yeah, you still love her, so you must think she's prettier than I am because you love her and had s*x with her."

In spite of my mind spinning out of control at the words "I don't get that", I managed the only response she deserved.

"You're the prettiest girl I know, Raven."

"I did notice you didn't deny how well or often you knew all those cheerleaders."

What could I say? I wasn't going to lie to her.

Her Cheshire grin melted into a sincerely pleased smile as she nodded her head.

"When I said I wanted somebody to notice, I meant you. Even if I could, I wouldn't argue with you about it. You really like the way I look? Is it this outfit?"

"I do, Raven. Is it new?"

"No, but Mom didn't pick it out so I'm taking advantage of having you to myself by wearing my cute clothes while they're gone."

I wanted to chuckle, but kept it to myself. That one sentence explained so much about the way my svelte sister usually dressed.

I was also pretty thrilled to get the opportunity to change the subject.

"So, speaking of them being gone, Raven..."

"We can't even bask in the glow of me telling you I want you to think I'm pretty and you telling me I am for a few minutes?"

"I thought it was a good time. I have your attention, and you're feeling good about being beautiful."

"Beautiful is a bit much, but okay, let's do this. Is this where you persuade me to move to Cincinnati?"

It was one of those rip-the-bandage-off moments.

"They're not on vacation, Rae. They're looking for a house to retire to, and as soon as they find one, they're moving there."

Raven giggled a little as she alternated between nodding and shaking her head.

"You don't believe me?"

"I believe you, Dan. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"They just told you yesterday on their way out the door."

"Yeah. So?"

"You probably knew you had a new job like a month ago. Not only have you picked out a place to live in Cincinnati, with me in mind, you did that long enough ago we could move in like today probably."

"I didn't want to..."

"Dan! I'm not done."

I had to laugh at my sister, even though so far she was spot on.

"You thought about it, and instead of giving me the choices they told you to give me, you're using them going away as the reason for me to move with you instead of anything else."

"Yeah, well, what does that have to do with me being an apple falling off the tree?"

"They pull that same s**t all the time."

I couldn't remember Raven ever saying anything off-colored before.

"'We're going to California tomorrow to change your life'; 'we're retiring as soon as we find a house half-way across the country and you can't come with us'. That kind of s**t.

"Now, you're ready to move today, and you're just now asking me."

"I get it, Rae," I sighed. That was something like our parents would do.

"All you had to do was ask, and I would've done anything I could to help. You don't need to do everything yourself."

"I probably should have known that."

"Why would you know that? You've never given me the chance to show I'm not an invalid."