The Billion Dollar Mistress

2. Daddy's Girl Got Daddy Issues

I ain't had s*x in so long I done forgot how to moan. A sister might just f**k around and bark.

Two weeks. I haven't heard or seen Alessandro in two weeks and every message sent to him has been left unseen. I didn't want to think the worst of him or anything, but that's all I seem to have been doing for these past few days.

My conscience is blaming me for everything, but my heart refuses to give in to its bullying. He made his bed, not me. I gave him an option and he took it. He took it without considering my feelings, but then again, I made the choice for him. I so bluntly and openly told him it was okay for us to f**k other people and now, he's probably banging felicity like a drum as we speak.

Ughh! This is so messed up. I'm angry and horny but also uncertain if taking myself up on my own offer is the right thing to do. If Alessandro comes back and finds out that I've slept with someone else, then I'm probably dead and if I f**k some guy that isn't him, then I'm gonna feel shitty so anywhere you take it, I lose.

'Miss Kelley," the sound of my professor's voice cuts through the classroom, jolting me from my thoughts. 'Are you sure you're in this class?'

'Yes sir!' I immediately straightened from my slouching position when most of the class members started to snicker and cover up their laughter with a cough or their hands. This is so f*****g embarassing.

'Good!' He states passively. ' Now, give me an example of a business failure due to careless management.'

'Uhm...' I nervously toyed with my bottom lip before saying the first dumbest thing that came to mind, 'A p********e getting pregnant?'

There was a pin-dropping silence that echoed inside the room before everyone broke out into a range of laughter. My head subconsciously buried itself inside the neck of my sweater and my face warmed at my own stupidity. Mr. Kent's lips twitch ever so slightly and I groaned in dismay.

Why do you always say the dumbest things, Soraya?

'Okay everyone,' Mr Kent coughs, unfold his arms from his chest, then pushes himself away from his desk. I could tell he was having a hard time staying professional and not join in with the others. Not that I'd blame him. I'm a total i***t. "Settle down everyone and let's get back to the lesson."

The rest of the session went somewhat smoothly after that and, before you know it, we were being dismissed. Grabbing my things together quickly, I got up to make a dash for the door, only to be stopped by a command.

'Miss. Kelley, stay behind.'

Having anticipated the worst, his first question took me by surprise.

'You seem distracted a lot lately. Is everything okay?' Everyone had already left by now, leaving only the two of us inside the empty classroom.

'I'm fine,' I lied smoothly. Everything was not okay but he didn't have to know that.

'I know I'm your professor and you're just my student, but that doesn't mean I dont care for each and everyone of you. Especially you, Soraya,' he says, but I said nothing. I had no idea what to say. Somewhere along the road this conversation took a different turn, leaving an awkward pause behind.

'Don't look at me like that with those innocent, beautiful eyes, Soraya. It's hard enough that you're my student,' Mr. Kent said. His eyes were a hard, dark blue. He was making me feel slightly uncomfortable.

'Sir,' I started, then stopped, suddenly lost for words. What's usually the right comeback for a statement like that?'

'Don't think too hard about it, Soraya. I know our student-teacher relationship is somewhat platonic and I could easily lose my job over this but-'

'But nothing sir,' I found myself saying after comprehending the situation. I was already Alessandro's play thing. There is no way I'm going to stoop any lower and become another man's w***e.

'I don't know what you had hoped to achieve here today by saying this, but I can assure you that nothing that's even slightly s****l will happen between us. You're my teacher.'

'And you're my student, but that doesn't cease my feelings towards you,' he confesses forcefully. The passion that was in his eyes a little while ago was back again, making itself known once more.

Great! Just when I thought I had diffused the ticking bomb inside the room, it just had to go ahead and mock me for cutting the wrong wire.

'Give me a chance, Soraya. I promise I will take things slow and not rush you. It could be our secret. Yes! Our dirty little secret.'

'You're mine now, Soraya. My beautiful, dirty little secret and I get to keep you as long as I want.' Alessandro's words rang inside my head.

'No!' I told him fiercely while backing away from him and his desk. I was adamant about my decision. 'I'm no one's secret Mr. Kent and if you ever approach me about this again, then I will have no choice but to report you.'

And then I fled. It was getting too hot in there. The same bomb I was trying to diffuse a minute ago had just blew the f**k up!

~~~

My mother used to say I was the most perfect looking doll she had ever seen.

Blue eyes, curly hair, dark caramel skin and a freckled nose. I thought it was cool being different. That getting stares and constant attention meant my life would be somewhat easier than the average girl, but I was still black. No matter what other cultural background I come from, people still see me as being black.

At first, it didn't matter. I was happy with the way I looked, but then I changed schools, which meant a different neighbourhood and friends all together. Red necks, from jocks to cheerleaders, are like the devil's gift to humanity and my new school was suffocatingly crawling with them.

My features that I once found beautiful were now a target for constant bullying. I felt ugly and tainted. My skin was too soft, hair too curly, eyes too green, freckles too bright, lips too pink and body too sculpted. I thought everything would have changed if I had tried to please them. Bend to the rules of society and adjust to my environment, but nothing I did worked.

After switching out my wardrobe for hoodies and jeans that always reach my ankles and blue Irises for dark brown contact lenses, I was still the centre of attention. Everyone thought my eyes were naturally brown and I just wore blue contact lenses for s****l attention. They thought I had daddy issues. That I did things to feel important to a man, any man, and even though they were stupid highschool kids who had issues of their own, I couldn't help but let my mind wonder back to that day and listen to a bunch of red-neck spit facts.

I had daddy issues. I have daddy issues. Even after meeting said dad for the first time three years ago.

I have this tendency where older men are always attracted to me. Julius, my ex-boyfriend, Alessandro, my personal favourite, Mr. Kent, the professor and random men I pass on the streets on an everyday basis. Even when changing most things about me since high school, I still seem to attract-

Letting out a small curse when the ringing of my phone jolted me from my thoughts, I slowly fished the cold metal out of the right pocket of my hoodie without lifting my head from the seat of my car. I was still in the school's parking lot.

Cursing for what felt like the hundredth time in hours when seeing the callers ID, I contemplated on whether or not I should take the call or simply just reject it, but if there's anything I know about the devil is that it'll never stop until it has your soul.

So, not second guessing my decision, I swipe my thumb across the screen then hesitantly place the phone against my ear. I could hear well-controlled breathing on the other end before the cold, hard, familiar voice said, 'Gianna'.

'Giovanni,' I greeted him just as coldly even though my body was shaking and this was not a man I should fear. 'I thought I told you not to call me that?'

'And I thought I told you to leave that boy alone.' It wasn't an accusation or a question. More like a statement a father would make in regards to the well being of his daughter. But I wasn't his anything. He made sure of that when he left me and my mother then lied about not knowing I existed.

'Do I have to take him away for you to understand that he's not good enough for you?' he asked in a deadly voice. 'Or should I take you away from him? Yes.' That idea seemed to have aroused something sinister inside of him. 'Maybe I should take you away. Do you think he would come running even after explicitly telling him it was okay to scratch his itch with the beautiful Mrs. Monroe.'

'What?' I quickly sat upright, wild eyes glancing around the parking lot for any sign of him and his men. 'Giovanni, I swear to god you better not-'

His deep laughter cut me short. 'Calm down princess. You're too easy to rile up. I wouldn't impose on your privacy like that and as much as I despise the little weasel, I wouldn't make the mistake of taking him away from you.'

I sighed

'Yet.'

'What?' I said in alarm. 'You said you would never hurt him. I wont forgive you if you do, Giovanni! I swear to God I will hate you for the rest of my life if you lay a finger on him. You hear me! I will f*****g kill you if you so much as touch him!'

He's silent. It's suffocating me and my heavy breathing wasn't helping. For a fearful moment there, I thought he hanged up on me but then his voice sounded through the phone, easing my fears. His voice sounded strange, wounded even.

'Have breakfast with me tomorrow at 9. Our usual spot. I promise to stay out of your life for good if you do me one small favour. '

That should have made me happy. Hearing those words should have somehow eased the pain of him staying away for so long, especially when I needed him the most, but it didn't. I only felt rejected and unworthy all over again. 'So that's it. You're gonna give up just like that?'

'Yes.' Three letters, one syllable and they hurt like a motherfucker.

'It's obvious where I will always stand in your life, don't you think?'

'But...'

'I never left, Gianna. Despite what you might think, I never left nor abandoned you. For the past twenty-three years you have been on this earth, I have only known you for four. Your mother didn't think it was important to let me know I had a daughter. I don't know if she did it out of spite or hurt considering the way our ar-relationship ended, but if I had known that I had a beautiful baby girl who had the same eye color as me, I would have come back. I would have made sure I was there for you in high school and every birthday that I missed.'

'But you could have been there."

'No, Soraya, I should have been there, but just like how you will always hate me for something I didn't even do, I will never forgive your mother for everything she did.'

'You're lying.' The words sounded forced coming from my lips. I refuse to believe that my mother would keep me away from him. Especially when I needed him the most. 'Mom would never do something like that to me.'

'But I would, right?' he said, more to himself than me. He was hurting. My words were hurting him. 'It's so easy to blame me because she was there and I wasn't, si? Before you go pointing fingers Princess, chiedi a tua madre cosa ha fatto tre anni fa quando ho scoperto di te. Don't forget breakfast. Good bye, Soraya.'

'No, wait,' but he had already ended the call.

"f**k!" I slammed my hands against the steering wheel.

I had a f*****g migraine and my head felt as if it was about to explode. Nothing made sense anymore and I hated this doubtful feeling I had everytime I thought about my mom. Even though we didn't see eye to eye on everything, I still can't think of a valid reason as to why she would keep me away from my father. Yes, he was a dangerous man. I didn't know to what extent, but you didn't need a genius to tell you how shady he was, but still, what could he have possibly done to her for her to cut him completely from our life? Did he hurt her? Were they even in a relationship? Why doesn't she ever talk about him or tell me anything when I ask? And even if he wasn't the best man on the planet, why would she hide me? Why is she hiding?

Why was she so shaken up when she found out that I had met up with him 3 years ago? So many questions but no one to give me the answers. Not even her.

A rough tear escapes and trickles down my cheek but I quickly wipe it away out of frustration. "No more tears, Soraya," I whisper to myself while pulling out of the school's parking lot. No particular destination in mind. "You're too old for this, baby girl."

Fuck! Where was that bastard, Alessandro, when you needed him?

Italian: chiedi a tua madre cosa ha fatto tre anni fa quando ho scoperto di te.

English: Ask your mother what she did three years ago when I found out about you.