A COLLEGE AFFAIR

EIGHT

The white washed walls and the smell of bleach in the air served to remind Mathew of their days in the hospital but this wasn't the hospital. He had to remember that. Because it was one of the things that assuage his guilt at leaving his sixty-six year old father in a retirement home. It did not lessen his guilt that he had no choice over the matter. Between College and his two jobs, it was clear he would have no time to care for his ailing father. Especially as the illness progressed. He couldn't afford a home care nurse, so the retirement home had been the best option. He walked through the living room, past the game house and also the recreational centre. The clean flowery scent from the garden helped to calm his mind. When he got to the long hallway, he walked on straight. He has been here so many times, he could walk through blindfolded. He stopped outside the door and hesitated opening it like he always did. He looked at the number tag on the door; 306. He recited the number meaninglessly. Finally, he summoned the strength to open the door. A nurse was sitting on the chair by the bed. She got up when Mathew came in.

"How is he?" Mathew asked.

"Better." The nurse said. "The medications are helping a lot." She picked up a chart on the bedstand, patted him on the shoulder and left the room.

Mathew sat down, placed the small bag he brought, carefully on the floor. Then he looked at his father's face hoping to keep the emotions at bay. It was hard. Hard to see a man who'd once been vigorous and full of optimism rendered weak and slow by an illness. An illness that had a crippling effect. Thankfully, it wasn't so serious and he was improving but Mathew still feared the worst.

"Mathew?" His father murmured hazily.

"I'm here." Mathew said holding his father's arm. Careful not to disturb the IV tube.

"How are you?" His father croaked.

"I'm doing okay, father."

"How is your mother?" Mathew gave a hard smile. The medications sometimes made his father drowsy. "She's doing okay too."

"Thank God." His father said, slowly going back to sleep. Mathew held his arm a moment longer. Then he picked one of the few books on the small cupboard beside the wall; 'The Great Gatsby,' It was one of his father's favourite books. He opened it to the middle and started to read.

Someone tapped on his shoulder. Mathew looked up to see the nurse who had a kind smile on her face. "I didn't want to wake you, but I thought I should, since you would be driving back." Mathew looked out the window and saw that it was dark already. "Thank you." He said as he stood up. The nurse took the book from him and helped him keep it. Mathew looked at the floor where he'd kept the small bag. Following his gaze, the nurse said; "I've taken care of it" and he thanked her again. He held his father's hand, smoothened the blanket over him. With one last look at his sleeping face, Mathew went out the door. As he drove back into the city, he checked the time on the dashboard. He would get home in time to leave for work.