Unknown Wolf

A Father's Failure

****Athelstad's POV

I sat there on the side of her bed just staring down at my little girl. She had been through so much so early in her life, and here it was coming back up to haunt us after all these years.

I was quickly sent for after her episode this morning. The nurse had cleaned up her wombs and bandaged them in case her wolf might be too weak to heal her. I knew that wouldn't be the case. That she would quickly heal once the glass shards were removed, but I didn't agrue either.

I had sat quietly, taking in all the information given to me by Wesley as Rose was a bit distraught herself. She asked to be dismissed to her room for the day to process and deal with the emotions stirred up by todays events. I understandingly obliged, excusing her.

Lucilla lay there now softly sleeping as the sudden arisal of her wolf's anger and hatred had worn her out. Not being used to her wolf and just recently starting to regain connection to her, this wasn't surprising. Though others had been concerned, the connection was completely gone, and questioned if she would even be able to shift this coming December, I knew their worries were unfounded. I knew she was special, and not just in the way that every father thinks their child is. Lucy was something more.

I was taken aback by her sudden memory returning and the knowledge that my suspicions had been correct about Roland being Lillianna's attacker. No mere warrior wolf could have taken down my love and the Queen. It had all made sense. He thought that attacking and killing my mate the way he did that I would whither away and die in my grief, and he would gain control completely uncontested.

It was well known that Roland cared nothing for his mate, and his treatment of her was hideous. It made many fear their own mate bond if they were to fall such an ill fate to be bonded to such a heartless wolf such as he is. I don't think Roland has ever loved anyone in his entire life except himself and power. He is, in my opinion, a disgrace to our kind, and even before Lillianna, he put a fowl taste in my mouth for all that he is.

He didn't know about Lucilla though thank goddess for that. There were very few of our household that knew of her existence, and we had decided that because of all the attacks towards us, we would not announce the pregnancy or her birth. Roland knew of the bond and love Lillianna and I shared, and he used that against me. I wasn't interested in him putting a target upon our child as well.

I never meant to go so long without explaining to her about who or what she was, but I was afraid of what it would drag up for her like it has today. At least, that was my excuse when she was younger. Then she started looking more and more like her mother, and in my grief, I pulled away from her, burying myself in work.

I tried to become numb. Feeling nothing in the world had to be better than having this pain constantly crash down on me, but when I looked back up, my daughter wasn't little anymore. She was seventeen, coming upon adulthood. I knew then I had failed her, and her mother would have been disappointed. I had been weak without her mother, and this beautiful, smart, and strong girl was just left with a shell of a parent.

I'm disgusted with myself on how my daughter, who I am in charge of protecting, is stronger than me. I just can't lose her the same way I lost her mother. I have to protect her at all costs.

She looked like an angel with her halo of golden hair around her face as she slept so peaceful next to me. Then I felt her stir, and the large green eyes of her mother's stared up at me with first confusion, then realization of what had transpired earlier. Tears began to well up in her eyes and then spilled over down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry for causing such a fuss. I should have better control over my emotions."

I looked down at her with sorrow, and my heart tore at her words. She felt the need to apologize that she hadn't had enough control of her wolf? Sorry, she had been affected so badly by the return of her memories where her mother was attacked right before her, and I her father had failed to protect either of them that fateful day?

Sadness hit me again, bubbling up as it was torturous to see her like this. I held strong, pushing it down like I have done with my pain for years now. I gently wiped the tears from her precious cheeks and shook my head.

"Lucilla," I said softly, "You don't always have to be so strong. You had an episode because of the knowledge you received about the most traumatic event in your life. There is nothing to be sorry for."

"I broke the cup. I don't know why I broke the cup..." She glanced down at her hands. Noticing the bandages, and pulled the wrapping away only to be shocked that they had healed. I just smiled as I knew they would heal from her wolf. I can't believe she was worried about a silly cup.

"Your wolf broke the cup with her anger. Rose and the guards said your eyes glowed before it happened. That's probably why you were confused." I went on to explain, "You're coming closer to your birthday, and she is getting stronger. You have to learn how to control her, but that will come later."

I sat there and just stared at her for a minute, rethinking about that horrible day that changed both of our lives so long ago before continuing, "So it was Roland in the forest that day? Your mother was too weak to name her attacker, and you were too frightened to talk about it. You pulled into yourself for a long time afterward. I wasn't sure you'd ever be back to yourself, and when you did start talking again, I was afraid anything wolf related might cause you to close up again."

"That's why you left me in the dark about everything, and why I'm just learning about all this now?" She said, sitting up in the bed.

My mind went right back to that time. I had just lost my love and then watched my only child go through so much terror and pain that I had no idea how to fix. How do you make that better for them when you are already drowning in pain and you have no answers on what to do?

Suddenly, she wrapped her small arms around my neck and pulled me in for a hug. I froze for a minute in shock. After all I had done wrong as a father and just completely messed up, she still wanted to hug me?

I am amazed at all that she is and thankful to be blessed with such a child. I wrapped my large arms around her, dwarfing her size and pulling her in tight. I closed my eyes and imagined my 6 year old little girl in my arms and the hug we both needed so many years prior.

"I love you, Daddy."

I felt warm tears roll down my face, and there it was, this young girl, the daughter of my Lillianna, melting all my pain away that had been guarding my heart. There was the echo of my love's warmth I so craved. This was my daughter, forever, my little girl, and I would lay my life down if it meant she was safe.

"I love you too, princess."