Breaking Through

Chapter 16

16

Gui

I knew Hilary wasn’t coming, but I still couldn’t stop myself from looking for her in the crowd every ten seconds.

The guys and I were wearing sleek black suits and dark blue shirts, with a bluish-silver embroidery Jeep over the pocket on the left of our jackets. We looked good and everyone wanted to take pictures with us. We could barely walk three steps before being stopped by someone who quickly introduced him or herself and launched into conversation as if we had known them our entire lives. Most of the time, we didn’t.

This part of polo—the attention, the flashlights, the cameras, the interviews, the pictures—it didn’t happen often, but I always loved it.

I still did, but for some reason, my usual excitement was missing tonight.

For some reason. As if I didn’t know the f*****g reason. What? Now I was going to lie to myself?

The reason was Hilary. There. I confessed. Big difference it would make. She still wouldn’t come. And it made me very, very f*****g miserable. And acknowledging that made even more miserable.

I had known I was attracted to her since the first time I laid eyes on her, but when had I become the guy who held his breath every time a blond walked past, hoping she would turn around and I would find Hilary smiling at me?

I sighed.

What did I expect? That after two days she would have recovered from a panic attack. Damn it, I didn’t even know she still had them. I thought … I thought she had recovered from them. I knew she wasn’t totally healed yet, but I had no idea it was still that bad.

“Hey,” Hannah said, slipping her arm around my waist and posing for a picture. “Smile, guri.”

The mask slipped into place and I smiled, wide and happy. Nobody would ever know I was considering leaving this party to go check on a girl. A beautiful, sweet, quiet girl who was growing on me.

Gathering courage, I asked in a low voice, “How is Hilary?”

Hannah’s smile faltered for a brief second. “To be honest, I’m not sure. My mother said she went to her therapist this morning, so I’m hoping she’s better. She doesn’t talk much about that, no matter how much we beg her to.”

I nodded. Yeah, I could see her closing in more after the other day.

Which was why she had to let someone in. Me, maybe, if I helped with that list of hers. And, I wanted to help her. I felt like … like I should. Like I needed to.

Fucking stupid.

Leo halted beside Hannah, then Bia came to my other side, and more pictures were taken.

Then, I excused myself and went to the bar. Waiters were waltzing around the crowd, making sure everyone’s glasses were full, but I wanted a moment to myself.

I ordered a whiskey on the rocks, and then leaned my back on the counter, watching the crowd, but not really seeing anyone. Still, it seemed my mind wouldn’t cooperate, and all it did was look for a pretty blond with the most beautiful smile I had ever seen.

A girl leaned on the counter beside me, ordering a flute of champagne from the bartender. From the quick flash I got when she walked into my peripheral vision, I knew she was tall, had wavy black hair, and was wearing a red dress.

Drink in hand, she turned around and stayed there, by my side.

“Hm,” she finally said after a long while. “Maybe the rumors are wrong.”

I turned to her. “What rumors?”

A lazy smile spread over her bright red lips. “That the renowned Guilherme Fernandes likes to have company during parties.”

She was pretty. I would give her that. Under different circumstances, I could see myself flirting with her, trying to gain her favor, so maybe she would take me to her house. But the spark, the desire, the excitement of something new and crazy, the longing for that high—it wasn’t there.

I turned my attention back to the crowd. “Not all parties,” I said before taking a long sip of my drink.

She humphed and stormed away, probably not used to being turned down. Truth was, I also wasn’t used to turning girls down. My infamous reputation was worse than reality. Yes, I slept with several girls and never dated, not seriously. The closest I ever got to that was sleeping with the same girl for more than two or three months. However, it wasn’t as if I screwed a girl every weekend after every party. That … that didn’t even sit well with me. The rumor was there, though, and some girls seemed to like it, so I never did anything to stop it.

Until now.

Now, when I thought of a certain blond hearing more and more about said rumors, I cringed.

I pushed against the bar and walked to our little group. Leo, Hannah, Bia, and Garrett talked about the game we had played on the improvised field the event organizers had set up, laughing that we had to strut around on our horses in such a tiny space, and also wearing suits and dress shoes. Ri, Pedro, and Iris were right beside us, talking.

I smiled. The guys looked great. I knew that. I had looked in the mirror before leaving my apartment. But the girls looked stunning. I narrowed my eyes for a moment and pictured Hilary beside us, wearing a beautiful party dress, probably green to emphasize her pretty eyes, smiling at the cameras, and laughing at the jokes we told when posing so we all would smile and laugh more naturally. She would complete the picture and make our group richer. Whole.

If only.