I GOT REVENGE ON MY ABUSIVE EX

Monday

I plunged into the void, an endless void, there was no end, it was dark and lonely, and I kept falling, it started to get warm and comfortable, and suddenly a very large hand pulled me back.

“It’s not time!”

The voice whispered in my ears from inside out, in an inexplicable way, because if someone was speaking to me, it should have come from outside in.

I was just vomiting.

---

It was a Monday when I received a notification on social media.

TRIIMMM (f*******: notification)

I paused briefly what I was doing; it was just another lesson from an intensive preparatory course. I was juggling work, studies, and gym. A bit heavy, but I was chasing my dream, and nothing was going to stop me.

Messenger...

-Hi.

Who is this? I wondered mentally. Should I reply or not?!...

-Hi? (I replied)

-How are you?

-Fine, and you?

-Good too.

-Good! (I replied intending to end the conversation while also wanting to know where this stranger came from.)

He appeared as a friend request and sent the message before I even accepted it, so we exchanged a few words to see if it was worth accepting his friendship or not — something trivial, since I already had almost five thousand friends, one more wouldn’t be a problem, and with that thought I decided to accept the request.

That gave us access to each other’s photos. I had many photos; I was extremely popular, I liked the attention I got from online interactions, and he... well... few, very few photos, a pale and serious face but with an intense and manly gaze that caught my attention. He had big hazel brown eyes, they were beautiful. There were no photos with friends or family, no detailed information, but he wore a uniform. He was a young soldier.

I was interested, but I had little free time.

For a sixteen-year-old girl about to finish high school and wanting to study medicine, I couldn’t slack off.

I studied on the subway, at the gym with headphones, in the course, at home — following a complete study schedule, focused and dedicated for almost two years.

I wanted to be a psychiatrist. I wanted to help people save themselves, because the mind can be our greatest enemy or ally, and I knew that well. I wanted to help people learn to save themselves. It wasn’t enough to just take care of the here and now because the mind plays tricks on us, especially when we are alone.

-Where are you from?

Uh, he sent a message. Seems interested.

-We’re from neighboring cities from what I saw on your profile.

-True.

And that was it. Right there. At that moment. At least, that’s how it seemed to me. He didn’t show more interest after that, and I went back to doing the medical practice test.

---

Now tell me, how can everything change so drastically in three years? How did I end up here?

I became the person I tried to save. I was both the hero and the villain.

“Nonsense!” (I thought to myself)...

Heroes are strong and villains are forged, are brave, I... became that... Someone pathetic. Someone who lives for the other, someone who breathes the same rhythm as the other breathes, like a devotion.

---

“You’ll be late, daughter, come on! I’ll drop you at school and I’m off. I’ll pick you up after.”

I opened my eyes and yawned, spilling the imminent laziness, not bad for a Monday.

It was the third grade. My father always took me and picked me up. That’s how it was. It was just us because my mother worked, went to college, and gym. I thought it was awesome despite missing her. She brought me sweets, cakes, treats. I guess she tried to make up for her absence. My father was absent too, in his own way. But when we were together, we were best friends in the world.

Our routine started at seven in the morning, it was our ordeal. Waking up early... neither of us liked it.

My father didn’t know how to take care of a girl, and my mother... neither. But we were doing well enough.

It was hard to comb my hair, so it ended up like a lion’s mane.

That makes me laugh remembering.

---

“I don’t have much to remember, I don’t have much to say, I only have flashes, I don’t know how I ended up here.”

“It’s okay, little by little you’ll feel relaxed and your mind will detach from your body. You won’t be one, you’ll be units, these units will float and reach places, somewhere, and there you will find some answers.”

1, 2, 3... (sound of clock ticking)

Monday, the 17th of a distant year.

A little deeper....

“I’m drowning.... I... I can’t breathe, I’m leaving... just fading away...”