Craved

Chapter 13.

Alison POV. 

He eases out of me slowly and already I missed the feeling of him inside of me. 

He lays down next to me with his feet off of the edge as well and I chuckle. 

“That was good,” he murmurs, his breath was heavy. “I swear, s*x with you just gets better and better,” he says, and I laugh. 

“Same to you,” I tell him. 

We both take our time, catching our breath and when the bud between my legs stopped pulsing, I got up from the bed. I sat up and looked down at him beside me. His hand reaches out and rubs my lower back, moving the fabric of my night gown. 

“Did you want to talk about earlier tonight?” 

“Hold that thought,” I told him and began walking to the bathroom to clean myself up. I took a moment in the bathroom pausing to look in the mirror. My cheeks and neck were flushed, which made my skin look like it had a glow. My hair was wild, and almost completely dry, curling around my head. 

I walked back into my room and was pleased to see that Zac was underneath the covers, on his side of the bed. 

I stooped to pick up my underwear from the floor and slid them back on. 

I kneeled on the bed, facing him and wove my fingers in front of me. 

“What do you want to know?” I asked. I was suddenly nervous. It was funny that only moments ago, his mouth was between my legs and I wasn’t a bit shy, but now, I was about to be honest with him, I was both nervous and shy. 

“Why did you come home crying?” he immediately asks. 

I looked over his face, trying to figure out where to begin.

“I’ve told you before…” I began in a meek voice. “I’m scared to love you.”

I continued to search his face, watching as his eyebrows come together in the middle of his forehead. 

“I know,” he nods his head. “But there’s something else isn’t there?” 

“I’m scared that if I give myself to you completely then… if something happens again… I don’t think I could survive it, Zac.” I struggle to find the right words. How can I tell him that I want to love him but the thought of giving myself over to him, both body and soul scares me so much- how at any moment he could turn around and say he doesn’t love me anymore? And what about him? Could he survive another heartbreak? 

“I just need you to give us a try- to give me another try.” 

I shift, moving on the bed so I was sitting next to him and leaning against my headboard. 

“I’ll try,” I say. Zac reaches for my hand and he holds it between us, rubbing his thumb back and forth on the back of my hand. “Would you be able to survive another separation?” I blurt. I already knew the answer, but I needed to confirm. 

“I would be fine,” he says. 

“You couldn’t sleep for months.” 

“I can now,” he responds quickly with a chuckle. 

“But what if we do separate again? Could you handle that?” 

“We’re just going to have to make sure that that won’t happen,” he says, surprisingly sure. 

“You can’t ensure that.” 

“I can try,” he tells me, leaning in closer. “We can try,” he smiles, and my heart skips a beat. 

His face was so beautiful, carved in sharp angular features. Below his high cheekbones and squared jaw, dark stubble hair was peeking through. His hair had grown substantively over the months and it now curled down to his shoulders. His hair was almost as long as mine. I look down at his hand intertwined in mine. 

If I could paint, I would want to paint his hands. I always considered them to be pianist hands with long thin fingers, strong knuckles and veins slightly protruding on his inner forearms. I traced over the veins, lightly caressing up and down his smooth arms. 

My attraction to him went beyond just physically. He was everything I was looking for and more. He fit me perfectly both body and soul and I loved him more than words could describe. 

What was it that he said? … You’re the other half to my soul.

“You’re the other half to my soul,” I speak out loud, and it just seemed right. 

I watch his face light up. 

“Kiss me,” he whispers, leaning in closer to me until his lips lightly caress my own. 

“Now, let’s get you to sleep,” I tell his, caressing his face. 

As soon as I slide down on my side, Zac curls his hand around me and I instantly feel at ease.

…

I wake with a start, my alarm clock seeming somehow louder than usual. Zac’s arm was draped heavily over me and I slid out underneath it slowly to not wake him. 

I went straight to the bathroom, curling my hair and applying makeup. Once I was sure I looked somewhat above average, I went to my room to get dressed. The weather said it was going to be sunny today, so I opted for a cream dress that has a wrap around belt and wore my white converse with it. 

A soon as I was dressed I looked towards my bed, only to see Zac had disappeared from his spot he was once in. 

I grabbed a cardigan from my closet to keep me warm from the cold morning air and left my room, keeping my eyes peeled for Zac, but didn’t need to for long, a si rounded the corner to the kitchen to see a half dressed Zac at the stove. I paused for a moment to adire his perfectly sculpted back and long torso, and needed to bite my bottom lip to contain and sigh. 

I stepped up to him, wrapping my arms around him, holding him close to my chest. 

“You’re so warm,” I tell him, kissing behind his shoulder. 

“And your hands are freezing,” he counters, laughing. 

“Oh, sorry,” I chuckle. “Well thank goodness I have my own personal fernace.” I hold my hands flat against his stomach and laugh when I see him flinch. I continued kissing the back of his shoulder, stepping to his side and continuing the trail of kisses on his upper arm. His smooth skin was irresistible.

“What are you making?” I ask at his side, with my arms still around him. 

“Eggs and bacon on toast, for breakfast,” he smiles down at me. 

“Is there enough for me as well?” I joke, making a show of looking in the pan. 

“if you’re lucky,” he winks down at me, and I feel his body shake as he silently laughs. 

“I’ll make toast,” I state, reluctantly stepping away from his warm body to set up plates, the toast and coffee, beign mindful of the time. I set the table with cutlery and place our coffees on the table. 

I brought over the plates to Zac as he puts the food evenly on each plate. 

“Thanks, baby,” I say, and then pause, looking at him while he stares back at me. “I didn’t mean to say ‘baby’,” I try and explain. 

Holding each plate in my hands, Zac turns to me, grabbing my face in his hands and plants a soft kiss on my lips. When he pulls away I step foreward, keeping my lips pressed to his. He had the softest lips and they fit perfectly to my own. 

Just as Zac wrapped a hand around my waist, we heard a low and deep cough towards the entrance of the kitchen. Both Zac and I take a step back and I lick at my bottom lip. Emmet stood awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head. He was still wearing his PJ’s and still has sleep in his eyes. 

“Sorry,” I said softly to Emmet, and walk around him to the table.

“Any left for me?” Emmet asks, when I began eating. 

“You can have the rest of mine, I have to get going,” I say when I’ve had a couple of bites and drank almost half of my coffee. 

“Thanks for breakfast,” I tell Zac who was sitting across from me. I grabbed my handbag that sat at the front door and leaned down to swiftly kiss Zac while Emmet overtook my seat. “Have a great day.” 

I step outside, retrieving my car keys from my bag. 

“Ali!” Emmet calls out from behind me and I turn to see him job the rest of the way to me. 

“Emmet!” I mimic his tone and chuckle. “What’s up?” 

“I need to talk to you,” he says in a serious voice and I feel my eyebrows pull together. 

“Okay, but please make it quick, I’m about to be late for work,” I explain. I tried to stay long enough  for breakfast but if I stayed any longer I would have been late. 

“So, you and Zac are on again?” he asks. 

“Yes,” I admit. I didn’t go through everything last night for us to not give it another go. 

“I don’t like it,” he flat out says. 

“What?” 

“I don’t like it,” he repeats. 

“Why?” I ask, defensively. 

“When you guys broke up, it almost killed him, you weren’t livng here but it was torture. He’s an addict and you’re his new fix. You living here just makes everything worse.” 

I stay silent, shocked at his audacity. He speaks as if I didn’t go through the same torture. 

“I don’t think you should live with us anymore,” he spits out.

“Excuse me?” I almost shout. 

“You’re both my friends, but he lived here first. You living with him just feeds his addiction for you. It would be ebst for you to find somewhere else to live, so I don’t have to worry about you sleeping on some random persons couch when you guys break up.” 

“I am not some form of drug, Emmet,” I say between my teeth. He was making me beyond mad. “And how dare you presume we won’t last. I love him!” 

“But love is a drug, and he loves you.” 

“I havne’t got time for this, you’re meant to be my best friend and you’re acting like a real jackass right now.” 

“Of course I’m your best friend, but I’m his too, and I can’t see the both of you go through what you already have gone through again. It crushed him, Ali.” 

“I know!” I practically shout. “Don’t act like I don’t know.”

“When you left, for him it was like cutting him off cold turkey.”

I felt the tears already forming in my eyes, mainly just from how angry I was. I hated that I was the type of person who cried when they were mad.

“You need to shut up right now,” I speak in a low and angry tone. “I’m late for work.” I swallow my tears back down and continue walking to my car, completely ignoring him as he tries to call out at me to think about what he says.