I Wait for Nothing

I Wait for Nothing

“Rien, can I court you?” I asked her.

“You can, but I won’t say yes for now,” she answered.

We were only in Grade 9 when I started courting her. Rien was the type of girl who was kind, smart, fair-skinned, and beautiful—almost perfect. She was the total opposite of me, a reckless kind of guy, but I changed myself so I wouldn’t disappoint her. I waited for years because her parents once told me, "Just wait, Ken. The right time will come, and you’ll be together."

Until we reached senior high, in Grade 12, I was still waiting. I never courted anyone else because I was waiting for her. She didn’t entertain anyone else either, but it was fine with me if someone courted her. After all, I was just her suitor. Years passed, and finally, we graduated from high school.

“Ken, let’s take a picture for remembrance,” Rien said.

I was always shy in front of a camera.

"Okay," I agreed.

"1, 2, 3, smile!" the photographer said as the camera clicked.

"You two look good together." He added.

"Let’s take another picture, Ken." Rien’s mother said.

"Take me along too, so we’ll be like one big family, HAHAHAHA…" Her mom added.

It almost felt like we were already a couple. Everything felt so complete. Months passed, and it was enrollment time for college. But Rien and I didn’t end up in the same school because she got a scholarship somewhere else. Even though we were apart, our connection never stopped—video calls here and there, chats every day. But time is unpredictable.

"This engineering course is exhausting, but just a little more patience and I’ll graduate." I chatted her once.

I was surprised—she didn’t even see my message, even though she was online. I brushed it off, thinking maybe she was just busy since she was also graduating. But one month turned into two, then three, and eventually a year passed without a single reply. No contact at all. I graduated from college, but she never even knew.

For years, I still held on to her words: "Just wait." Even her family, I lost contact with. But still, I waited.

"Ma, I’ll go to the plaza." I told my mom.

"What will you do there?"

"Get some fresh air." I replied.

"There’s an aircon here."

"Fresh air is different,ma.” I said, then laughed.

After a few minutes, I arrived. I didn’t expect that I’d see the girl I had been praying to meet again.

"Rien?". I called out to the woman who was facing away.

"Sir?". She replied.

"Oh, I'm sorry, miss. I thought—sorry…". I thought it was her.

An hour passed, and I still didn’t go home. I stayed, watching the sunset. It was nostalgic because we used to do that before.

"Ken?" a voice called.

I didn’t turn around, thinking it was just my imagination.

"Ken?". Again.

"Ken?". For the third time.

This time I turned around, and there she was. Finally—we met again.

We talked while watching the sunset.

"I’ve still been waiting for you." I told her." "I’m sorry…". She said, tears falling.

"Sorry? You didn’t do anything wrong." I tried to comfort her.

"Sorry, Ken. Sorry for all the promises I made to you."

"What’s wrong?". I asked, worried.

"Ken… I’m getting married." She said.

Everything I held on to—the hopes and dreams—shattered.

"What?" I said, almost not believing.

"I already have someone, Ken. I’m so sorry." She struggled to say it.

"What?" All the memories of our past, the very things I held on to, were gone. Everything we had promised… broken.