I followed him like a little tail, my heart filled with words I wanted to pour out, wanting to talk to him and share what I was doing at school.
But he didn't stop, his hands were constantly busy, that concentrated look as if everything around him did not exist, completely immersed in his own world, a refusal to communicate.
I watched him helplessly and anxiously, until when he was about to put the dirty clothes into the washing machine, I finally couldn't help but call out to him: ''Ethan, wait a little, okay? I have something to say to you ... "
Ethan gave me a puzzled look, his voice carrying the same coldness as always, "Shirley, I'm very busy, if it's not important, please don't delay me." His tone was cold and resolute, without the slightest bit of wiggle room.
His indifference was like a sharp knife, stabbing me deeply once again.
I stood frozen in place, tears welling up in my eyes, never able to figure out why he would suddenly be so cold to me.
It was as if the once warm and affectionate Ethan, who cared for me so much, had disappeared, and now he wasn't even willing to give me a little bit of time to communicate with him, and this huge discrepancy made my heart feel as if it had fallen into a bottomless abyss, filled with pain and confusion.
Seeing me with tears in my eyes, Ethan's lips slightly moved, his originally cold demeanor instantly became complicated, his eyes intertwined with helplessness, heartache, and a trace of undetectable guilt.
In the end, he sighed and pulled out a piece of toilet paper from the nearby carton, gently handing it to me, his voice slightly easing up a bit: ''Shirley, you've grown up, and you are no longer that little girl who needs me to take care of her all the time. Even if I am your stepbrother, I have my own life, and I don't have that much time to spend on comforting you ... "
I couldn't hold back my tears completely, and they rushed out like a flood from a broken dike.
My heart full of aggression instantly exploded, causing me to lose my mind as I slapped his hand away as hard as I could and shouted at the top of my lungs.
" Ethan, you never used to be like this! You used to listen to me patiently, give me warm hugs, and solve all my problems for me! If growing up means I have to lose my stepbrother who was so good to me and the warmth and love I once had, I'd rather be a little kid forever and live in the past! "
After shouting, I turned around, covered my face, and recklessly rushed back to my room, slamming the door behind me with a bang.
Behind me, Ethan subconsciously retracted his outstretched hand, which was frozen in the air for a few seconds, and then slowly fell.
He silently picked up the toilet paper that had fallen on the floor, his eyes bleak, and stood in place for a long time, as if that ball of toilet paper carried thoughts that he could not speak.
Afterward, as if he had made up his mind, he threw the toilet paper into the garbage can, making a "pop" sound.
He hung his head low and stood there for a long time, his back looking lonely and forlorn.
I was in the room like a wounded beast, head first onto the soft bed, the whole person helplessly lying down, began to hold the pillow, tears uncontrollably rushed out, crying in the room echoed.
My thoughts were racing, thinking of how Ethan and I had relied on each other, held each other warm, and worked together through those incredibly difficult times in those dark days after our adoptive parents died.
Back then, we held each other close on cold nights, giving each other what little warmth we had and comforting each other.
I remember Ethan going out hard to find work in order to earn money, while I would be good at home waiting for him to come back.
Every time I heard his footsteps, I couldn't wait to rush over to him and give him a warm hug, hoping to dispel his day's exhaustion.
We faced the hardships of life together, encouraged each other in times of trouble, and envisioned a bright future together.
However, now it all seems to be shattered like a dream.
Ethan had left me behind, blind to my pain and confusion, unwilling to give me the care and warmth I once felt.
The contrast between those once beautiful memories and his indifference today made my heart ache as if it had been cut by countless sharp blades.
Ethan used to be the entire spiritual support in my life, he was the lighthouse for me to get forward in the darkness, the warm harbor when I was cold.
But now? His indifference was like an ice-cold sword, mercilessly cutting off the emotional ties that had once been tightly connected between us.
I wiped my tears with my sleeve, and secretly resolved in my heart that I could rely on it, I had to solve the difficulties I faced on my own.
Since I can't stand Jason's endless pestering, I'll take a temporary break from school, and when Jason graduates, I'll go back to continue my studies.
Just because of Ethan's indifference, I hid in my room full of sadness before I even ate dinner and cried alone like a wounded beast.
Now that my emotions had gradually eased a bit, I began to feel the hunger that had been temporarily masked by my sadness coming on like a tidal wave.
I gently and quietly pushed open the door to my room, a soft light spilling into the living room, and realized that the tabletop in the living room was neatly set with Ethan's cooked dinner, still steaming, while Ethan was nowhere to be seen.
I guessed he'd gone back to his room.
I had mixed feelings as I looked at the hearty meal.
I wanted to sit down and eat some. After all, my stomach was already growling in protest.
But just at the moment I was about to sit down, his cold and heartless words and expression came back to my mind, and a wave of defiance suddenly surged to my heart, as if a voice was crying out in the bottom of my heart, "How can you still eat the food he cooked when he's done this to you!"
So I bit my lip, forced myself to endure my hunger, took some money from the drawer and went out, attempting to go outside to eat something random on the street.
When night fell, it was as if the street had been enchanted and changed into another charming face.
The neon lights flashed with colorful light, illuminating the street like a dream.
The outline of the tall buildings outlined in the light appeared more majestic and grandiose.
In the store windows along the street, all kinds of exquisite goods are displayed, and the light through the glass exudes a tantalizing charm.
I was walking alone on the street, as if the hustle and bustle around me had cut me off.
At that moment, I could clearly hear the sound of cheerful music and the laughter of people coming from bars and restaurants.
The sound was like an invisible magic that drew me involuntarily closer.
I watched with curiosity as the boys and girls entered the bar with gusto, their faces beaming with excitement and anticipation.
It was like a naughty kitten scratching at my heart, filled with extreme curiosity about the world inside the bar.
Although I am now an adult, I have never had the chance to take half a step into the bar because of Ethan's strict discipline.
Ethan always had a serious face and said that bars were full of fish and bad people, and that if I particularly wanted to go in and have a look around, I would have to be accompanied by him when I was an adult.
Too bad, why am I thinking of him again? Why should I obediently listen to him when he has already mercilessly left me behind? I'm going to go in and see what happens. He won't know anyway.
For some reason, behind this rebellious thought, I was vaguely expecting that he would show up because of this rebellious behavior of mine, grab me back like he always did, and then lecture me bitterly.
With such complex and tangled emotions, I took a deep breath, gathered my courage, and resolutely walked into the bar.
The moment I walked into the bar, the strong rhythm of the music hit my eardrums, the colorful lights flashing confused me, so I was a little dizzy.
Crowds of people on the dance floor wantonly twisted bodies, laughter and shouts intertwined together. I stood awkwardly in the doorway, trying to get used to the strange and frenzied atmosphere.
I found a corner and sat down, ordering a very nice looking margarita from the menu.
Within moments, a margarita with salt grains around the edges and a dreamy pale blue color was brought to me.
I carefully picked up the glass and took a small sip.
As soon as the liquid hit my mouth, the cold and slightly sweet and sour flavor made my tongue lurch and my throat tighten involuntarily.
I frowned, not quite accustomed to the stimulating sensation, but unwilling to let it go, so I tried another small sip, this time trying to keep the liquor in my mouth a little longer, feeling the complex flavor spread through my mouth.
As I tried sip after sip, my cheeks began to heat up and my head gradually became a little dizzy.
My eyes became a little misty, my grip on the glass was no longer so steady, and my body couldn't help but sway gently to the music.
I'm probably drunk, right?
I thought in a daze, my thoughts seeming to be a jumbled mess.
Then I thought of Ethan's serious face and couldn't help but tense up, and my heart began to pound.
I began to worry that I might actually meet a bad guy like he once said, and the more I thought about it, the more scared I became.
I got up violently, trying to keep myself awake and calm.
However, as soon as I stood up, my feet felt like they were stepping on cotton, and I couldn't make any effort.
I staggered in the direction of the bar's entrance, accidentally bumping into several people along the way, their disgruntled grumbles buzzing in my ears as I subconsciously kept apologizing.