Scouts of the broken past.

Chapter Two

A small group of teenagers come across some disabled person, the one who never gets attention from her family or maybe friends makes fun of It. And yes, he made his friends laugh but deep inside there's some guilt that he had felt.

He asked himself later on after he's already on his home, why do I need to act bad just to get some attention? But when I do something good I never got some attention and validation because of It?

Well, It's because doing something bad is the new term for cool, when you're doing wrong people would think you're a cool type of person but when you've done something good? People would think you're a boring person? And people always leave when things get boring.

That's a fact, our society nowadays thinks and made a standard that doing something bad will makes you look cool, but doing good would make you a boring, killjoy, nerd or anything that doesn't sounds good by the way they imply It.

He was guilty by what he had done, but he can't do anything about It. It was the consequences of his actions just to get some attention from the others. He never get the attention from his family not unless he was failing school, they care when he was doing bad, but they doesn't when he's doing good. And that s**t makes him feel s**t about himself.

He lives in an environment that doing bad things makes him gain some attention.

The other friend who wants some validation that he was a funny person also makes fun of the disabled man, he also seeks some validation that he was better than him.

That boy, who also makes fun of the disabled person was always bullied by how he looks, he was insecure about himself and the only way to make him feel better is to pull someone down, is to compare his self to the disabled man that he was better than him 'cause he have some hands.

That boy who makes fun of him, are also suffering and as a coping mechanism he made fun of the other people.

I am not saying that making fun of one another is the only way to cope up with your own insecurities, I want to say that people who were used in doing such things were also suffering.

If someone makes fun of you, that person were probably insecure, wants some attention or maybe seeks for validation.

It has nothing to do with you, but to their self.

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Why do people suffer?

Simple, cause life is full of suffering that only a small glimpse of happiness you'll ended up suffering again.

Wanna know why? 'Cause pain and suffering never leaves, It's always lurking around us, It will only be gone for a few days or hours but then It will again show up saying like "Hey stupid! I'm back! Oops, I was wrong... What I mean to say is I'm always inside of you, I will always be with you."

Suffering is permanent, joy and happiness is temporary.

Our life is just like a magnet with some dust in it, another magnet that will stick in it was happiness.

So as we stick with another magnet but they're still some dust in it what would happen? Both of the magnet will ended up having the same dust. The dust represents suffering. And again, another magnet and just like the other they'll all ended up having some dust. No matter how big and small the happiness (magnet) is, the suffering (dust) will always be there stuck with us, will always lurking around us.

That's a fact, pain never leaves, you'll only forget about it for a couple of seconds or maybe hours, days, weeks and months but then, if the happiness has already gone, you'll realize that pain was there... And the only thing who stays in this world is suffering.

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Why do people regret the decisions they made?

Well probably because It doesn't satisfies them, there is no wrong or right decision, It only depends on how It affects you, and how It satisfies you, and how It made you feel.

Making a decision means you have another options, and the one you made are the one you think is the better option but in the end It only disappoint you.

Don't regret making some decisions that once you think was the better option, and also stop expecting for you not to become disappointed.

Let's say you have two options in choosing what you want to your life to become, one dropping out of school and the other one is continue studying.

You've chosen of dropping out, 'cause you saw a lot of speeches in the internet saying that if you want to grow in life you should stop studying and try your best to learn by dropping out of school. And guess what? You did drop out, first year of you stopping school you feel great, 'cause you are free.

You started working, applying for jobs, and make your own business. It satisfies you, but then all of it has gone in just a single snap, and you ended up thinking... What could've happen to me if I didn't drop out? You regret, your decision.

Let's say you choose studying, yes you graduate have your own diploma, house but then your passion for your work has already gone, you wants to stop but you can't 'cause you don't know how life works without using the formulas of what you've studied in college.

You regret choosing to study 'cause you don't have freedom in choosing what you want, you don't have freedom 'cause you have a boss who always scolds you for a little mistakes that you do.

So what's the moral of the story? Nothing.

Kidding, do not ever regret choosing the option that you had think was the best one. Never regret something that once made you happy.

You'll always ended up craving for more and that's good but... Things would become bad if in anything that you do, It no longer satisfies you.

If you want to become fully happy stop expecting and assuming things.

Stop expecting in everything, in something, in people, stop expecting that the world will be always good to you, as well as the people around you, stop expecting that the decisions that you chose Is the better one, stop expecting! Just stop!

'Cause the more you expect the more you'll ended up hurting.

Expectations only disappoint people.

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Why do people hate me?

No they don't, how can they hate you when they don't freaking gives a fvck about your entire existence? (What I said depends on the situation.)

Nobody does, It was only you who's thinking that, just because you're a good son/daughter your family or parents already care about you, just because you're a good friend you'll expect that your friends care about you.

No they don't, once you die you'll be easily forgotten by them.

Maybe I was wrong with what I'm saying right now but, have you ever ask yourself if people care about you? And what is the answer? You're not sure?

Stop thinking that they care,'cause they doesn't. They only care about the mistakes, and the good things you did.

The question why do they hate you? Again, they don't. Why? They hate themselves. They don't hate you, they hate what you did that doesn't reach their expectations.

They hate their self, what they're saying that causes you pain? The roots of It wasn't you, It was them.

People who receive love, gives love. People who love their self, share It to the others.

People who receive hate, gives hate. People who hate themselves makes the others also hate them.

If you think they hate you, they don't. Not all people who doesn't talk and doesn't like you, hate you.

The world doesn't revolves around you, stop assuming things and care only about yourself.

Stop caring if they do hate you, live a life man.

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Why do people kept taking advantage of me?

It's because you never set boundaries, and even if you does you'll eventually cross It just for them.

It's because you're belittling yourself, you are far from that, stop letting everyone use you! Take advantage of you!

Put some boundaries, never let anyone take advantage of you. Most of the people who were taking advantage of? They never love and respect their self. How can people love and respect you when you don't do that to yourself?

They're taking advantage of your kindness? Still put some boundaries.

You can always be kind and respected at the same time.

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Why do people always misunderstand me?

People have a different level of understanding, if you explain yourself to the fool you'll ended up becoming the i***t, 'cause the person whom you've been explaining to doesn't understand you.

Once the person is close minded you'll never make them understand you, just leave and breath heavily, try your best to understand them 'cause they can't do that to you.

Don't explain yourself to those people who doesn't want to understand you. You're just wasting your time.

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Why am I always left alone?

You're alone because you've always been, when you got out with your friends and yet you still empty when going home, please shift the way you think and try to spend more time with yourself than hanging out with them.

You are alone but you are not lonely if you love yourself more than anyone else.

Try to give yourself some time and credits, the more you love being alone the more you'll most likely to stay away from the things that causes you to feel like you are lonely.

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Why do I never receive the same energy, effort and love that I gave to them?

If you're not receiving the same energy, stay away from them. Surround yourself with the people who's willing to give you the same effort and energy.

Don't let someone drains you, stay away from them.

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One time I was in a party, my friend were gathering all of the designs from the party 'cause we're about to go home, but then her mother asked. "What are you doing? You don't have to bring all of that in our home." She felt embarrassed by what her mother said 'cause It sounds like she was doing those to save some money. "I never said that! I was just clearing this things 'cause we're about to go home!" She irritatedly said.

Her mother's voice were so loud when she ask her about that, I guess If I was on her position I'll probably feel embarrassed also.

So when we're on our way home, my other friend ask me to bring all of the balloons on the car 'cause she's gonna use It for some decorations. I gladly followed her.

When I was on the car already my friend who got embarrassed a while ago asked me. "What are you gonna do with those balloons?" Her voice were kinda insulting but I didn't mind. "My friend ask me to bring this." I simply answered which made her shut up and only nods.

It took me a couple of seconds to realize that she was trying to embarrassed me with the other people on the car, the same way she was embarrassed when her mother asked what she was doing.

There's some situations in life that people were doing that same thing that happened to them 'cause they want to feel great. And sadly, the only way for them to feel better were putting the same thing they've felt to the other person.

Whatever insults that you receive isn't about you, It was about them, making fun of you? It's because they also have been making fun of, they hate you? It'd because they also hate themselves, you know... In this world, not everything revolves around you.

Not everything that people made you feel is about you, whatever they say about you is nothing that goes against you, so when someone tried to insult you just remember, their insecurities were the one who's leading them to insult you.

It was not about you, always remember that, 'cause after all... Nobody gives a fvck about your existence, and the world?

The world doesn't revolves around you.