Scouts of the broken past.

Chapter Four

Failure. Of course, no one can resist this, no one can control this.

If you're doing something new, don't expect to be good at It with just one try, failure comes with a process.

Stop resisting and you should be happy when you commit a mistake, wanna know why? It's because again, you have the reason to become better.

Failure=Craving for mastery.

When you have motivation you're gonna be happy when doing things, when you commit some failures, you're gonna struggle with what you are doing.

Failure is the motivation of successful people.

I've read some quote in the internet, I don't who said this but here it is. "The journey is the goal."

As you can see, many people failed in achieving goals that they made, It's because they're focus unto the goal not in their journey which would make them become better and gain experience.

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So when I started writing a book, my goal is to finish It, I don't care if I'll get some readers or not, my goal is to finish one book.

It took me a few months to achieve the goal, but when I finally does, guess what happened? I was happy for a couple of minutes but then my feelings became neutral and I said to myself. "That's It? I'm done already? What's next? Ohh, before that, I'll take a one month rest."

And yes I did, but only for one week, 'cause I can't stop thinking for my next book, even on my dreams It kept showing up.

And then I started writing again, the few weeks of writing for my second book, things get started to become boring, I became unmotivated, I said to myself, what's my next goal? To finish this one again? And after that? What's next? I kept asking and asking but then one day I woke up and realize that the goal is the starting line but the journey that I was taking is the real goal.

The progress that I made in writing, the sleepless nights, all of It was the goal. Making some progress is the goal, It's not gaining a lot of new readers or followers It is the improvement that I made during the process.

Now that the way I think has changed, It doesn't matter anymore to me If I only have a small readers and followers, what matters to me is that I'm learning and gaining experience.

Before, I write to express myself but now? I write to learn.

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Hate? It is hard for us to control our anger and madness due to out anger issues. Controlling It is good, but what if you're emotions started to explode?

Controlling your anger is a good thing, controlling your cry, everything regarding about your emotions is okay. But being vulnerable and being able to express It is much better. It makes us human.

The hate that someone holds against us is out of our control, It is upon them 'cause they can't accept the things as the way It is. Just like what I said, acceptance is the most important thing that people should mastered.

You can't control the hate that people feels towards you, wanna know why? Okay, let's put yourself in their shoes.

Let's say, you hate somebody because of how she acts and how she looks, It is not her fault, It is on you. You can't accept the way she acts and It's making your blood boils, you are the problem not her.

The anger and hate that people feels towards somebody, It is not the other person's fault, it is us who felt that against them.

If somebody do you bad and you hate that person for doing that to you, It is now out of their control It is on you.

Not being able to accept things is the cause of hatred, the cause of emotions. Acceptance is just like the medicine of all of it.

Start practicing the mindset of 't is what it is'. 'Cause when you already mastered it, nobody can get inside of you.

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One time, I asked my friend. "If you have the chance to talk with the younger you... What would you say to her?" And she answered. "Don't let your mind control you." What she said makes me say... "Wow, that's cool!"

And then there's another quote I saw on the internet. "You should never let your brain control you, you should control the way you think." And I was like... Why? Why does people were saying that? Our brain is the one who's controlling us and how the hell can we control our brain?

It took me a couple of weeks to finally realized what they are trying to say. When we are mad, we all think of commiting some crimes and doing some bad things. When we are sad and hopeless we all think of slashing our wrist or maybe commiting suicide.

This is the time that we should not let our mind and our heart to control us, the hardest battle in our life is us against ourself.

Battling with your inner demons is the most hardest thing to do.

If our mind and our emotions were working together It would be hard for us to fight against them, if you are in pain and your mind is thinking of doing some bad things that would cause your life It is the hardest battle for you.

If you ever find yourself in a situation where you cannot control the things anymore, just write in the paper go get some pen, write the things that you can handle and go deal with it but those things that are out of your control?

Forget about It and let the things flow.

But my perspective was different from them, I let my mind control me rather than letting my emotions do the thing. I'd rather be heartless as f**k than vulnerable, I'd rather have some huge ago than being soft.

But then again, that was my perception... There is some saying that I also read in the internet. "The worst version of yourself is protecting the most gentle and vulnerable side of you."

Letting my mind control me may not cost me good 'cause I'll probably become heartless as cunt and I am not like that, but sometimes... When I am in a situation where being heartless is the only the best solution I badly want to become like It but too bad.

My heart always won, being soft even though the world f***s the s**t out of me hard is the power that I hold.

Being soft in the world that full of survival, is the strongest thing that you would every do.

Being free even though you wanted to control everything... Is the greatest thing you'd ever do.

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There is a man who is the CEO of their company, he always wants to control almost everything 'cause he's a f*****g perfectionist. In any department he always comes to visit, he almost do the job every single time when he will see any mistake.

It is a good thing, being able to control things but It would suffocate and It would make you exhausted. He doesn't have any trust with his employees, even in his child, and his money.

He always handle everything but then, It makes him exhausted to the point that he can't handle It anymore. And eventually he died.

Kidding.

He takes a months of leave, 'cause he needs to take some rest. A months after his leave he finally came back and things were just good as the way It is before he left.

Sometimes controlling is exhausting, being free is the best thing. He doesn't only realize that he was doing things that is almost out of control but then, he also gained some trust to his employees.

Life is not just about being in control, life is also about living in the world where you can move freely as you want to be.

Life should be taken lightly, even though you're suffering right now... Don't take life to seriously 'cause It would take your life. Kidding, all of us are gonna die anyways so why choose to control almost everything when you can just chill and let things flow?

Relax, the world can wait. You're not responsible of the world, you are not responsible of people's lives, you are responsible of you. Always remember that their opinions doesn't matter, always remember that as long as you live free, free from their judgements, their insecurities, you... You are the one who's winning. Never let yourself get distracted, keep going.

But don't overused yourself, you only live once. Stop controlling everything and just live your life as freely as the water in the sea.

Go with the flow just like the water in the river, but stand tall and strong where you're already in the midst of a situation which is you need to be in control.

"Have fun, you'll be dead a long time." It's the quote again that I read on the internet, I don't know who said this 'cause It was written as anonymous.

That person is right, why struggle and control of the things that shouldn't be taken seriously? If you die to day, people would be grieve over your death but after a couple of years or maybe months... People will forget about your entire existence.

Once you die, people will slowly forget about the things you do not unless it really matters to them. Once you die... Your birthday where people always come and greet you? They'll forget about It. I swear, once you die no one's gonna remember your not unless you did something revolutional.

Live freely, stop controlling and stopping yourself to experience some great things in life. Live like a water, move like a water, and adapt the changes that always happen arounds you. As long as you are free? No one can stops you.

Stop resisting and remove the word control in your vocabulary.