Scouts of the broken past.

Chapter Five

Paradox of life.

Have you ever been in a situation where you told to yourself that you will never be? Well that's one of the clownery of life.

Before I start, I would like to asked. How's my book going? I know there's some hole in every word that I want to imply but bear with me though, It's my first time in writing this kind of genre.

I know my book is boring as hell, I'm not gonna deny It. Even me while writing this It makes me want to sleep.

I might be wrong in some situations that I said but in every words that I said may or may not be implied to you/everyone.

I make mistakes, I know... Feel free to correct me though, I'm always willing to change, and I'm always willing to learn.

Anyways, let's start!

The paradox of life.

I've been in a situation where ego and prides takes the s**t out of me, I think highly of myself and I even told myself that I will never beg nor please anyone to get what I want but guess what? I ended up doing those most of the time.

When I'm alone I'll tell myself, I'm gonna be a straight forward type of person, I'm gonna do everything to put some boundaries but then most of the times I always tend to please everyone.

'Cause I'm scared that they may ended up not liking me, that they may leave If I speak myself up.

That was before when I'm not healed yet.

You know, when people tend to become a people pleaser in their younger years no one would like them or give them attention unless they do something good that would makes them receive some attention.

Please when you know someone who is afraid to speak up, please be careful and think before you speak and give them some time to speak and acknowledgements when they did.

People tend to act what you want them to act if you're gonna honor them, or praise them.

Always be nice to people even when what they are doing makes you feel some agony.

When things get hard, stay soft.

When everything's makes you want to become numb, stay vulnerable.

When you want to get lost and leave everyone behind... That only mean you want to find yourself.

It's not bad to choose inner peace even though the part of it is cutting almost everyone.

It's not selfish to choose yourself, you tend to lose yourself for everyone. It's not too late yo lose everyone while choosing yourself. :)

Have you ever experienced being so happy and then It makes you overthink what's gonna happen next? I guess everyone does.

One time, I was so happy and It makes me think that... "That's weird? What's gonna happen next?" I was so used in suffering and sadness that time to the point that being happy makes me feel anxious about what's the next situation that would makes me feel some greater pain.

If you are sad, you'll seek for happiness. If you are happy you're gonna seek for sadness. Some of us are like this.

If you are making some progress you're gonna seek for mistakes, for what? To do more something better.

As you can see, almost everything in life seeks for the opposite that you are currently feeling, or It seeks for the opposite of the situation you are in.

You deserve to be happy, you deserve everything that you wanted. Stop thinking about the outside world, start thinking about what would happen if you choose to let them stop you.

If ever you feel like giving up and nothing makes you happy anymore... Just think of the younger you.

Think how big s/he dreams, how small the things that makes him/her happy.

For example you want to go to the playground when you are a child and that things makes you happy before and now you can go and do whatever you want like going to arcades.

As a child, life are so simple but as we grew older we're already making things much more complicated.

We're all seeking for this, for that. I want this, I want that. And when I can't have It I'm gonna cry about It. Stupid, instead of wasting your time crying why don't you spend you time doing everything to achieve what you want to achieve?

There's another village of course, a family who's so unfair when It comes to each other.

The younger sister is the smart one, the older sister is the dumb one, the mother always work for the household chores, the father always work for the money for their pay bills.

All of them thinks that It is unfair.

The mother thinks that the life of the father is so easy 'cause all he has to do was working in the company, typing in computer and then earning money unlike her who's suffering from the household chores, from cleaning, cooking, and laundry.

The father thinks that the life of his wife is much better than his, all his wife are gonna do is clean the house, the dishes, do some household chores unlike him who's suffering from the scolding of his dumb boss who has nothing to do aside from nagging, he thinks that life of him must be much better if he works only in the house.

The older sister thinks that life is so unfair, why does out of everyone she was the one who's been given a brain like this? She was suffering from the academics almost everything unlike her younger sister who's doing well in it. The mother were always comparing them to each other 'cause she was born with a small capability of learning and understanding.

The younger sister thinks that everyone around her is so unfair, just because she's the one who's smart she's the one who's always gonna adjust in everything. Her father always scolds her instead of her older sister, It's because she has the capability of learning she was the one who needs to adjust in almost everything. Sometimes she thinks thag being smart sucks.

As you can see, all of them were thinking that life is doing them so bad, that life is so unfair to them but in reality all of them are not seeing the bigger picture of their situation because their mind is already closed, It is not open to understand and clarify things.

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Everyone of us has ever wish to be in the opposite situation of where we are currently in. I'm not generalizing things but some of the rich people wants to be poor, some of the poor people wanted to be rich.

Some famous personalities wants to live a normal life where they can go wherever they want, without any paparazzi's lurking around them. Some people wants to be famous 'cause they think It was a good thing.

Some of the people with a small capability of understanding things wants to be smart and authentic, they think life is so unfair to them 'cause they can't understand most of the things, while some of the smart people wanted to be dumb, 'cause thinking too much causes them to suffer. They wish to never understand things 'cause not understanding and knowing It makes them happy.

Having a big brain causes a lot of people to suffer, It made them wants to just live a normal life where living and thinking were just in balance, but those type of people are not grateful for what they have. They think not seeing the bigger picture of the problem makes them happy, yes sometimes It is.

Not understanding the roots of the causes why people act is easy, 'cause you can just hate them, fight against them, but when you already know about the facts that what they do is nothing about you but to their self makes you pity them and also pity yourself for doing your best to understand them.