Love or dignity

remember

"Never look back! " it was more intense

I resisted but his grip only grew tighter.

This time I am not getting fooled once again.

I shrugged my shoulders, took a deep breath and forced myself out of his clutches, holding his hand and putting them down from my shoulder. I was polite and elegantly started walking out.

Only when I reached outside the doors, I realized the coat was still behind me hanging from both of his hands, covering me from behind, just a foot away this time. I was angry but I laughed. It was worth a laughter, especially when I realized what would have been peoples' reaction when they would have seen him following me this way. As soon as my eyes met his,

"your brain is always in the gutter. " he said and put that layer of cloth on me.

Slipping his hand to my waist. His coat was on me and his hands were on my waist, under that coat and one of them travelled even lower...bad lower. It all happened under that jean.

I shrugged.

He would use me real bad.

People are not good in this world. Especially the ones who come uninvited.

Out of those, ones who come by themselves are the worse.

The one's who act close at the first meeting without any reason are the worst.

I could not take that nuissance anymore. He could r**e me, or maybe he can, convince me for s*x.

"Stop it!" I grabbed his hands and put them down with so much force that they could plop out.

His eyes were more intense this time.

I was about to storm out but he held my wrist tight and came closer again. For sure he would be in jail if he once again shows such intimacy for no reason. His chest was on my back not touching but I could feel it would have been just centimetres away. And finally I felt his skin on me. Very less skin contact though, because it was only a finger tip but at the least expected spot, at the side of my waist just above my bikini. His fingertip was in a circular motion, but rather than moaning my eyes grew wider and shocked.

His skin was touching mine through that small hole on my dress.

"Ha-ha see you could believe me sometimes" definitely not laughing, he said and took his finger to move away, making enough space between me and him.

The thread that was off before had been unlaced more, creating a hole in my dress, of course because it was handknitted. I blushed with embarassment but my skin tan hid the pinks really well.

I sighed deep.

"Great deeds do happen." I uttered under my embarassment.

I started walking in the opposite direction to where I was heading right now. I walked to cross him, but only his stare followed me so I stopped.

Formal is what he might be expecting.

Hurt is what he would be.

"I'm sorry for not believing you." I spoke with a sigh.

Still getting no reaction I continued, "Let's go inside. People might be waiting for you." but still he was still.

"I will buy you drinks someday since tonight its free inside." I continued.

On seeing his serious eyes, I shivered. It sent chills through my body and those arrows on fire were hurting me bad . An extrovert and light-minded like me had stopped every movement that would break his concentration from the deep mire thoughts that he was slipping in every second.

I choked on air.

Do not utter something serious.

Every second passing was felt heavy, it was really difficult to live in it now.

"Buy me drinks now. I do not trust you enough." the first words he said after that great deadening silence were these. I did not doubt for a fraction of the fraction of a second that I heard them wrong.

The later part was not honest but I felt the urge and request in his voice.

He really didn't want to leave....but-

"Let's go somewhere" he was pulling me with my wrist before I could collect my thoughts.

I picked up with his pace to avoid falling, but this small action of his showed him claiming me.

I did like it, but I should not give in.

But I already did.

Just one night. It won't hurt for a night.

I was walking besides him now and his hand was entwined so strong, holding me so tight that it could stop the blood flow there.

This pain would distract me from the pain in my heart.

He smiled. Not too big but the way his chin was up, like an achiever, no more wrinkled forehead and other detailed features that I remember, I could say he was expecting a lot.

"So should we go to your house?" some voice interrupted me adoring this body.

I looked up. The moon was brighter than every night, the wind did blow making my hair fly in air. When I looked down and then up to his face this time, it felt as if we were walking in slow motion, the time stopped, my heart stopped.

I did not say a thing nor did my eyes flinch. There were no butterflies in my stomach, or tingle in my skin because it all stopped.

Why?

Don't!

Don't look at me!

Don't say a word.

Don't breathe my essence.

"Or Should I take you to mine?" he asked again after a pause of few minutes. It would have been 3 full minutes in silence to waver me by the question but now there was another. What should I have said?

Yes take me and make me? Take me for this night and act like strangers from tomorrow?

Erase!

Change of plans.

I knew what I wanted now.

I knew what I had to do now.

I waved a hand and stopped a taxi.

"Get on what are waiting for?" I said opening the door for him. He was surely startled by the sudden confidence after confusion on my face.

Just a night.

It won't hurt for 1 night.

His face was asking if I would run away after he gets in, so I led.

"To the Beverly Hills." I instructed the driver.

Leo did not intervene once. Maybe just wanted me to make the lead for a night.

"Isn't there where you live?" I was taking in air.

Just suspecting in which hotel the president of YGGR would be living but narrowed down to area rather than the hotel.

He did not answer my question. Maybe I was wrong.

"16th floor East, Four seasons hotel on papers, 145 Crescent housing society on check-ins" it took me sometime to register what he said but it was his answer for the question that was almost a mumble.

Rest of the drive was silent.

Every moment in silence was a pinch of more weight on my chest. If it blasted altogether, it would be out of control. It was long and silent drive but finally I knew where we had to go.