The Wolves: Part One: Lost

Chapter 3

Lea POV

Sitting in the parking lot of the school, I didn't know if I could physically get out of the car and face him. Dean Edwards, my crush of more than five years.

" So you are nervous about seeing Mr. Perfect and his stuck up, pain in the ass girlfriend."

I simply nodded. We had lived in the same town for as long as I can remember, but we only interacted a handful of times and they were never memorable. Well, at least one of them was. Dean Edwards, the guy with the "boy next door looks", the perfect cheerleader girlfriend, the crush that seems so far out of your reach. He was a kind guy, and a respectable, well-likable member of town. He was the quarterback of the school football team and his parents were the owners of the town hospital. No one saw them that much because they traveled so much, but they were known for being classy and giving to the community. The thing about Dean is that he was adopted but no one treated him any differently. On the contrary, he was loved by everyone. Dean, was the type who was surrounded by a crowd of people laughing and admiring him. Never had I seen him without a smile on his face. With his soft brown hair and delicate waves, his well toned athletic body, and golden eyes, and captivating smile, he seemed like he was from a different planet than me, perfectly beautiful.

Thinking about him made me sad and excited at the same time, because I did have feelings for him, but I also knew it was something so out of this world that it put me down. That memorable interaction I had with Dean, was not memorable due to positive interaction but one of my lower points. It was a couple of months after my father's funeral, and I was sitting alone, not really talking to anyone. Even Ally knew I needed some space and would only see me from time to time. It was a time filled with pitiful looks and whispers. So, because of this, no one approached me to say hi, but to give me condolences, and I was tired of hearing it all. It was a rainy day, and I was walking back home from school. I must have been 11 or so at the time, and Dean had approached me with an umbrella.

"Here get under my umbrella, you're getting soaked." He said smilingly, just as bright as my dad used to.

I looked at him saying nothing, just looking at his smile, feeling a familiar ache in my chest. His expression changed momentarily as he looked at me with a different look. It wasn't pity but understanding.

"Hi, my name is Dean Edwards. Have we met before?"

I shook my head, "No I don't think so."

"Can I ask your name?" He said with a slight smile.

"Lea Atler," I said softly.

Then that smile filled with feeling and truth changed to a fake one, just like the one I gave everyone else. It was like a mask he placed, to show others. It was a smile, but I could feel nothing like the one before. I was mistaken he wasn't like my dad.

"Oh, your Lea Atler, I see I have been meaning to give you my condolences. I mean we are part of the same town and I should have said something sooner, after something so horrible. So please-"

At that moment, I walked away from him, before he could finish the same sentence I had been hearing for the past six months.

"Hey wait!" He said, running behind me.

"Did I say something wrong?" He said, looking at me with concern in his eyes.

"No you didn't say anything wrong. I just thought you were different, but you are exactly like everyone else in this town. Anyway, it was nice meeting you, Dean Edwards. Well, thank you for the umbrella and condolences. I will make sure to pass them along." Then I gave the same smile I had been giving everyone in town and walked away from him.

Every time I think about that moment, I regret the way that I spoke to him. He was just trying to be nice and blew him off like everyone else in this town. It wasn't his fault that I was bitter and angry with life. After that, we ran into each other in town again and this time I decided to stop him and apologize for the way I was with him.

"Hi Dean, am I interrupting something?"

He looked at me with complete surprise and smiled. That same smile.

"Lea, no I am just here walking around with some friends."

"Oh, I am sorry we can talk another time." I was about to start walking away again when he grabbed my hand and stopped me.

"Hey wait, why is it that every time we talk you walk away?"

"Oh I'm sorry it's just, you know what, forget just sorry, ok?"

I was going to walk away again, but he didn't let go.

This time I looked at him confused.

"Did I do something wrong, why does it seem like you don't like me?" He said, his smile lingering, but there was almost a spark of curiosity in his eyes.

"I never said I disliked you."

"You don't have to, it's all over your face." He said now, with a bit more of a serious tone.

"Will you tell me?"

I bit my lip and didn't know if I should say it, but I was going to vent. If he wanted to know so badly, then I was going to tell him what I felt about him and everyone else.

"Fine. It's your smile."

"My smile?" He said, truly surprised.

"There is nothing behind it, not like the one you showed me when we first met. I'm tired of that same look all over this town. I don't want or need pity. My dad died, I know, and I want to forget about it. I want to look at someone and not see them pity me. You wear that same smile and I can't stand it. For a moment, I thought you were going to be different, but you weren't, ane I don't dislike you, don't get me wrong, I'm just frustrated with seeing those eyes and that empty smile."

He let go of my hand and looked at me. This time I could see all the emotion in his eyes, and I felt horrible about the way I talked to him, but before I could say anything else, his friends called for him. Without saying anything else, he walked away and went with his friends. After that moment, every time we saw each other in school or in town we either avoided each other or gave each other empty smiles, but I had to go get a crush on him. I had lost my chance to make a friend or at least get to know him. All because I had been blinded by pain. Now I see him with his girlfriend, and I am reminded of all the words I said to him.

"Lea?"

"Oh sorry, but I don't think I can do it. I change my mind." I said as I held onto my bag.

"Oh no you don't. Listen here Lea, you can not, you will not let this crush keep you from living your life. You were making an effort and just because you are scared of facing them you are going to lose all that progress."

She was right.

"Your right."

"Your damn right, I'm right. I mean, who cares if they are together? You're hot and can have anyone you want, if you just forgot about Dean. Besides who needs them, you just have to forget him and look at someone else. Dean and that bleach-blonde cheerleader have been together all through high school, and you already know that in a town like this, they are going to end up together, so I want you to promise me that you are going to stop giving him anymore space in your mind."

I nodded because Ally was right. Dean and Lily had been together for years. They looked good together, like they were made for each other. So I would put him out of my head and give someone else a chance.

"We are going to be late, are you ready?"

I smiled and nodded.

"Let's do this."

Stepping out of the car with as much confidence as I could muster, I walked next to Ally and went forward. I could feel the looks on me, and I couldn't blame Ally. I knew I was the focus. Biting my lip anxiously, as I felt the light breeze move my hair, living certain parts of my skin exposed.

"Smile a little, you don't want people to think I am forcing you. Do you?"

We both looked at each other and a smile escaped as she put her arm around me and led me towards the entrance of the school. Making our way to the lockers, I heard a familiar voice and when I looked there he was, looking more handsome than usual. His arm was wrapped around his girlfriend, his smile radiant and alluring to all those within his group. I was about to look away when our eyes met. It felt like my breath had been caught as his eyes locked with mine. I could feel my cheeks burn as his gaze never moved from mine and in that instant my mind went blank, as I stared deeply into his golden brown eyes. His look seemed different, intense but still. Then I quickly turned my head and kept walking until I reached my locker, not daring to look in that direction again. When we reached my locker, I tucked my hair behind my ears and tried to collect thoughts. Remember that I was no longer supposed to give him any thought.

"Earth to Lea, focus, and show me your schedule."

"Oh sorry, I guess all this new attention has me a bit frazzled."

"Frazzled?" She said, smiling.

"Shut up."

As we looked at our schedules, Ally groaned.

"Great we have lunch together."

"I know this sucks, but don't worry."

"Easy for you to say, you have like three free periods."

I smiled, because I did in fact have them off, I was surprisingly well ahead and only needed a couple of classes, and I was set to graduate.

The first warning bell rang,

"I am off to English before I am late. See you later!" She sped off as I waved.

It was the first day of school and I had a free period for the first class of the day. I wasn't really sure what I could do. So I decided I would just go to the library and wait it out. As I closed my locker, I felt a tap on my shoulder,

"Um..are you Lea Atler by any chance?" I turned around and saw a nervous looking boy behind me. His body was lean, and his dark brown hair was messy, he was handsome. He wasn't built too masculine, he was a lean fit. His eyes were blue, a very bright blue. He seemed old-fashioned in a sense, with the way he carried himself and the way he dressed. He seemed different to a lot of people in town, someone who I had never met, interesting.

"Yeah, that's me."

"Oh, thank goodness, I thought I would never be able to find you." He said, as he exhaled and smiled at me.

"Well, you found me, what can I help you with?" I said curiously to the new boy.

"Oh! That's right. I haven't introduced myself or anything. My name is Peter Thornhill, and I am a new student here, well new to town actually, and the front office said to find Lea Atler and that she would be able to show me around. Sorry if I scared you or something, nice to meet you." He said with a smile and a slight blush on his cheeks while he extended his hand out to me.

I smiled as I placed my hand in his and shook it.

"Nice to meet you, Peter, and it would be my pleasure to show you around, although there isn't much to show."

He smiled and handed me his schedule. Looking at it, I was surprised he was a senior like me, yet he was starting in a new school, his senior year.

"Oh, you are a senior too? This will make the tour easier."

He nodded.

"Wow, and you are new to town as well. If I may ask where are you coming from?" I said as I handed him his schedule and started to walk.

He followed me quickly as he adjusted himself.

"Oh I come from California."

"Wow!"

"Being in this town must feel like being on another planet compared to California."

"Only a bit." He smiled.

"Well, let's get started with the tour."

As we walked around, I made sure to answer everything as best as I could, and I found it interesting as he looked at me with so much attention, taking in every word that came out of my mouth.

"Well, that is all. See, I told you that this place was small."

He laughed.

"Well, I am glad it was you that gave me the tour." He said shyly.

I smiled. Looking at the time, I saw that there was still some time.

"It looks like your first period is English with Mr. Gomez. I could take you if you want."

"What about you?"

"Oh I have a free period."

"Well, I don't feel like going in halfway through the class. Would you mind hanging around and maybe giving me some tips about the town."

I was hesitant, but I had decided to be different.

"I mean we don't have to, if you don't want to." He said, looking a bit disappointed.

"No, let's do it. I can show you the football field and the clearing."

He smiled and I lead the way.