The Alpha and Her Secret Mate

Devastation

I’m still sitting with Gracie when Dan returns. He looks devastated, and I’m sure my expression matches.

“Where were you?” I ask. The question was supposed to be an accusation, but it sounds more like a toddler whining.

“I’m so sorry, Layla,” he says, engulfing me in a hug. “I was at the mayor’s office taking care of some things Alfred left behind.”

I’m too exhausted to react to the reminder of my grandfather. So much has happened lately that I barely remember that he was also the town mayor. I wonder what the human citizens think of all this? I’ve got too many wolves on my mind, the humans will have to wait.

“We lost the rogues,” I admit. With Grandpa gone and mom…it would be easier if she were gone, Dan is the closest thing I have to family now. As Grandpa’s best friend, and now I realize his Beta, Dan has been in my life as long as I can remember. All I want is to let him take over. Find an adult so that I don’t have to.

Dan pulls away from the hug, and says, “From what I’ve heard, you did the right thing.” When I grimace, he adds, “And I think a few of them will be back.”

“Maybe,” I say. “At least a few of them seemed reluctant to leave.”

Dan looks uncomfortable, pondering something, before finally saying, “The real question is, where was your Beta for all of this?”

I can’t meet his eye when I say, “I don’t know. I haven’t seen her since this morning.”

“Let’s talk later. You need to go get cleaned up.”

“I can’t…Gracie…” I look to her sleeping body helplessly.

“I’ll stay with her.” Dan says, sitting down in an armchair nearby. “Go. You’re filthy.” His grin tells me he’s only teasing me to try to cheer me up, and I appreciate it.

I hug him briefly on my way out the door. I expect to find Alex in the hallway. I never sensed him leaving, but the hall is deserted. I walk over to the bathroom, my thoughts wandering through the mindlink, trying to find my mate. I can’t sense him, he’s gone again.

I close the bathroom door behind me, and when I look at myself in the mirror, I see complete exhaustion behind my eyes. I look away, and carefully don’t look at myself again while I get into the shower. Hot water streams over my body, and I watch blood and dirt swirl away down the drain. In my mind, I’m searching for Alex, but I don’t sense him. Not at all.

I’m still frustrated when I turn off the water. Why can’t I sense him? What’s wrong with me? This frustration is probably why I fish my phone out of my jacket pocket and fire off a text to Taylor.

Where the hell are you? I demand.

I wrap a towel around myself and dry off, then I brush my hair to stall for time. When I pick up my phone again, Taylor hasn’t responded, and I’m filled with rage.

Don’t bother coming back to the pack house tonight, I text her before storming into my room.

I stop short when I see Alex sitting on my bed. He must have taken a shower because his hair is wet, and he’s wearing a clean pair of my pajama pants. His chest is bare, and my clothes strain tight against his hips. I’m surprised they fit him at all. When he looks up at me, my mindlink awareness of him comes flooding back so fast I stumble.

He leaps across the room to catch me before I fall. “Careful, darling, careful.” He keeps his voice quiet and soothing, but I can feel his heartbeat racing with concern against my skin. He tucks my towel carefully around me and easily carries me across the room to my bed. “You need to rest.”

I nod. He’s right. My exhaustion isn’t physical. Fighting the rogue barely took anything out of me. It’s pure emotional exhaustion over Gracie’s condtion.

As if sensing my thoughts, Alex says, “Aaron assured me that Gracie will recover.” He slips a warm sweater over my head, carefully adjusting it before letting the towel drop to my waist. He gets me a pair of shorts, but I take them from him before he can touch me.

“I’ll do it,” I say softly. He turns away and lets me pull the shorts up my legs.

I do want to see you, he says over mindlink with his back to me.

I know.

But not like this, he says. Not until you’re ready.

I settle back onto the bed, clothed now, and grab his arm to pull him to me. He curls his body around me, warming me, but I can feel the strain in his pulse that he’s yearning for more. I feel the same.

I feel like I’ve known him my whole life, like every touch is comfort, but also new and thrilling and dangerous, all at once. He strokes my arms, letting me relax into his touch.

“I wonder what things will be like once we’re used to each other,” I mutter.

Alex brushes his lips across my temple. “I can’t imagine getting used to this.” At his words, his fingers tighten around my hip, pulling me close against his chest.

Not for the first time, I think the words I’ve never voiced. That I wish I could just have Alex, me and him, just like this. Without the pressures of the pack or my leadership. I’ve never told him because I know it would just hurt. Even him being here now during the day goes against the rules I set for us, but I’m glad he broke them.

“I’m sorry about Aaron,” I whisper.

Alex stiffens. “You heard that?”

I nod.

He starts to pull away, but I hold onto him. “He’s just worried about me. After…”

I know he’s thinking about Alisha. They dated for three years, knowing they weren’t mates, and he was heartbroken when she found James. Despite coming from the Bassette pack, the two of them deflected during the last battle. Now they’re living here, but I don’t know if I can trust them so they’re just one more complication.

“This is different,” I remind him.

“Aaron doesn’t know that,” Alex says, and I can hear his implicit question. Is it really that different? But I know it is, and I need him to trust me until I’m ready.

I kiss the skin of his sternum in a way that I hope conveys how I feel about him. That I hope brings him comfort.

Abruptly, he freezes.

“Alex?”

I blink and he’s gone, leaving me gasping in his absence. The curtain by my window is blowing in the wind where he must have fled.

“Layla, what happened?” Taylor asks, bursting through my bedroom door.

I close my eyes feeling dizzy with the sudden changes. I feel Taylor’s weight on the edge of my mattress, and she continues talking.

“I’ve heard all kinds of crazy rumors. The rogues–”

“They’re not rumors,” I snap. “We had a…disagreement. They attacked Gracie and she’s unconscious right now.”

The color leaves Taylor’s face. “Oh my god.”

“Where the hell were you?” I yell.

She cowers before me, and I’m reminded that I do have some Alpha powers that I rarely tap into. “Layla, I’m sorry, I had no idea.”

I throw my blanket off of me angrily. “You’re supposed to be the Beta here. The pack needs you.” I don’t add what’s in my head. That she’s supposed to be my friend, and that I need her.

“I just…I wanted to go home for a few hours. I had no idea this would happen.’

I know she’s had some difficulty with her parents since everything happened. They never approved of her relationship with Sammy, even less so when they started getting hints of his shifting abilities. We can’t expect them to understand what it’s like to have a mate.

“You’re never around when we need you. You have responsibilities here!” I yell.

“I don’t know how to be what you need,” she cries.

I take a step towards her so I’m towering over her seated form. “Maybe you should start by trying.”

She slowly stands up and takes a step away from me, never taking her eyes off me. “Layla…?”

“I told you not to come back tonight. You need to get out.” I feel my rage growing and almost flinch away from it. “Get. Out.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispers. She backs away from me until the door is at her back. Once she clears the door, she runs. She leaves the house and doesn’t look back. And I feel empty.