The Alpha and Her Secret Mate

Matchmaker

I’m sitting alone in my office when I sense Alex arrive the next afternoon. I hesitate, unsure if I should go to him or wait for him to come to me. In the end, my decision is made for paranoid reasons.

I rush downstairs and outside so he can’t make it into the house. When I see him, my breath rushes out of me. I force myself to pull it together before I speak, so my voice is passive when I say, “Alex.”

His face lights up when he hears me say his name, but quickly falls in shadow again when he sees my expression. Good. That’s where I need him.

He stands in front of me and shuffles his feet. His head is down and he won’t look at me. “Layla, look, can we go somewhere to talk?”

I look around us, confirming that one else is close enough to hear us. “Here is fine.”

“I…” He repeats my scan of the front yard. “I’d rather talk alone.”

“I feel like talking here is safer,” I say. “For me.” He flinches, and I cross my arms over my chest.

“I don’t think you need protection from me. You held your own.” He seems to regret his words as soon as he says them, but I need to make sure.

“I shouldn’t need protection from you, Alex.”

He flinches again, but I don’t back down.

“Layla, I’m…gosh, sorry doesn’t even begin to cover it.”

"It would be a start," I snap.

He cowers in front of me. "I'm so sorry, Layla." He glances up, his eyes asking for forgiveness.

"I said an apology would be a start. I need an explanation."

There's another flash in his eyes, and my heart races with the same fear. "I don't know what to say."

I glare at him, desperately trying to hold on to my resolve. "Try starting with literally anything."

"Layla, I…"

"Why were you out there, for a start?"

He opens his mouth, but no answer follows.

"Where do you keep disappearing to? How do you even keep disappearing?" I almost yell the last question, and I look around nervously. No one is watching. I lower my voice to say, "Why won't you talk to me?"

"It's not that simple," he whispers. Something flashes in his eyes again, and it's quickly trailed by a flash of fear, but he schools his features into passivity again quickly.

"It is and it isn't," I tell him.

"Layla, please believe me." He sounds on the verge of tears and that same fear flashes across his face. "I need you."

“Perhaps you should focus a bit on being needed.” I choke back a sob as I realize the truth of my words.

Alex’s eyes water when I say this, and my hands itch to reach for him. Everytime I start to reach for him, I remember the predatory look on his face last night, and I hold myself back.

“Layla, please,” he says. He reaches forward and grabs one of my hands in his, and I let him. He strokes one thumb over the back of my hand, and his touch is warm and reassuring.

My breath catches in my throat, and I want to hold him to me, but I know I can’t. I yank my hand away from his, and step away until my back is against the wall.

He takes a step towards me, but a low growl from deep in my throat keeps him away. “Layla,” he says, his eyes pleading.

“You need to find a way to give me some answers, Alex.” I glare to keep myself from crying. “I don’t care how. I don’t care what, but you have to talk to me.”

“Layla–”

“No,” I growl. “Really think about it before you come back to me.”

He leans back on his heels. His expression is lost. “But…I’m your mate.” He narrows his eyes at me in confusion.

I lower my voice to whisper, “Then start acting like it.”

He stumbles back, and I cross my arms hugging my stomach. “Alex,” I whisper.

He sits down on the steps, away from him, and his face is closed off from me.

“Alex–”

A car door slams, making me jump. I see Taylor, and I reel away from Alex. “Oh, Layla, thank the Goddess you’re here, we need to talk.” She keeps talking, telling me something about the party last night, but I’m focused on Alex.

I want to tell him I’m sorry, but I’m not. I want to beg him to come back to me, but he needs to be honest with me first. When he looks at me, I use the mind link to say ‘Think about it.’

He just nods.

Abruptly, Taylor stops talking. “Real weird energy going on here,” she says, gesturing between us.

“It’s nothing,” I blurt out, refusing to look at Alex. “Come on. Let’s go inside to talk.”

She looks back and forth from me to Alex a few times before shaking her head and following me into the yard. “So I’ve been talking to Dan, and doing some studying. And some interrogating Sammy.”

“Naturally.” I smile, encouraged by her renewed enthusiasm. “So what did you find?” I welcome the distraction, even though my whole heart is still on the front porch with Alex. I try to physically shake off my thoughts of him, but he lingers.

“So from what I can tell, it’s important for a new Alpha to find their mate if they haven’t already when they rise to their position.” She’s busy pulling up some notes on her phone, so she doesn’t notice me roll my eyes.

“I don’t need a mate,” I tell her.

Taylor locks her phone with a click, and turns to look at me. “I know that, but also, apparently, it’s like a thing. Like wolves apparently have more respect for Alphas who have found their Luna. It’s something about being blessed by the Goddess.”

I shake my head. “That’s stupid.”

“Yeah, well, evidently it’s important. I even asked Sammy, and he like…recognized that it was weird but it’s still like a thing apparently. The younger wolves don’t really subscribe to it, but the way he was talking about it…I think he still like has this subconscious thing that you need that ‘blessing from the Goddess’ or whatever.”

“Seriously? That’s so stupid.” I turn away, internally filled with dread. For the first time, I wonder if I should have been honest about Alex and finding my mate. Now that he’s being, frankly scary, I don’t feel like I can. My blood runs cold just thinking of standing in front of my pack with Alex at my side.

“Layla, is something wrong?”

I grumble quietly. Taylor can be really flighty, but when she’s on, nothing gets past her. “Yeah, I don’t know about this.”

“Is it Alex?” Her expression leaves no room for me to hedge, and she immediately notices the blood drain from my face. She rubs a hand on my shoulder and says, “Look, I know it can be hard to realize you’re dating someone who isn’t your mate. You don’t have to be totally over him just yet.”

“Taylor, it’s not that,” I say. The truth is, it’s much worse.”

She grabs my hand, her eyes going wide, “Wait, are you still together? Is that what I walked in on back there? I mean, no judgement, he’s a straight hottie, but I don’t want either of you to be like devastated if one of you finds a mate.”

I shake my head vigorously, struggling to keep up with Taylor. “God, no. No.”

She raises her eyebrows at me. “Are you sure?”

I give her a stern look.

“Okay, fine. just don't let it distract you.” She takes my arm in hers, and we wander farther into the backyard. “In that case, I’ll modify my mate search plan for you.”

“Taylor, I don’t want to do this.”

“Just listen. Hear me out before you turn me down.”

“I know like having a mate is supposed to solidify my position as an Alpha, but this is uncharted territory.” I suddenly get a memory of a conversation I overheard in the forest months ago. When some Bassette wolves were talking about Alan. His mate is my mother, but the rivalry between their packs kept them apart. Not apart enough not to have me and Gracie. Just enough to throw his authority into jeopardy.

“It’s the thing that’s expected,” Taylor says carefully.

“It is,” I agree. “But it’s also the expected thing that the Alpha is a man. Having a Luna behind him would help solidify his position.”

“Yes, precisely.” Taylor nods, excited that I was seeing her argument.

“Well…” I groan. “What if having a man behind me just solidifies his position?”

“Okay…?”

I drop her arm. “Taylor, I’m not going to have a Luna, and I don’t want a man being the wolf this pack turns to over me.”

“Oh…OH!”

I see Taylor process my fear, then I see her realize that there’s a really good chance I’m right. I hate how universal that feeling is. The feeling of being ignored because any man is around, regardless of his abilities, regardless of yours. I smile weakly at her.

“In that case, I still think we should put on the appearance of finding your mate.” She pulls up her phone again. “I was making some lists of potential candidates nearby. I can just start inviting some unlikelies.” She scrolls down. “These wolves are of an eligible stature, but I don’t think you’d really be compatible. I mean, obviously, we can’t fully predict the Goddess.” She rolls her eyes at this sentiment, even as I remember the wolf who’s been visiting my dreams.

“So the pack will think we’re looking for my mate, but really, we’ll just be putting on a show?”

“Exactly,” Taylor says. “I’ve already heard some rumblings about you being unmated. It’ll get them off your back, maybe improve relations with the local packs, Bassette excluded.” She grins. “Let you work some things out with Alex.”

I roll my eyes, even as I miss having my mate in my arms and in my bed.

“It’s a shame. I really liked you together.”

“You just liked being a matchmaker,” I tease.

“But I’m so good at it!” she says with a laugh.

“You really are,” I tell her. She really nailed it with me and Alex. The Goddess would be impressed. “I guess let’s get to work inviting my potentials.” I can only hope they’re not insufferable.