Tenant’s Secret Love

Chapter 58: The two letters I wrote

It was my first night living in this bachelor pad, but I had already made one of the most important decisions of my life. I wrote two letters: one for Renee, which I was going to give her the next day, and one for Mark, which was my resignation letter after I finished this promotion plan.

I knew that when I chose to tell Renee about Darren's power conspiracy, I also meant to break faith with Harlan and I was even more indebted to Mark for his knowledge and help. I had no face to continue to stay at Baoli Department Store, and resignation was the only choice I could make.

I picked up the pen, took a deep breath, and without much thought, I wrote two letters as quickly as I could. Then I broke the pen and threw it in the trash can. The pen was innocent, but my emotions needed to be vented. I had destroyed my own future, and even the futures of Harlan and Mark.

Thinking about the sacrifices Violetta had made for my career prospects, I felt another pang of suffocation in my heart. Although this decision upheld the little belief in my heart, I had let down my friends who really cared about me.

I folded the two letters and put them in my pocket. Although I don't regret my choice, I know that I will have a sleepless night ahead. I want to drink, the more the better, and then pass out in bed, sleep like a log, and never mind the heavy reality again.

I took a taxi to CC's restaurant. At this moment, I really want to drink. If CC is free, I also want to chat with CC, not necessarily about my choice about human nature, just chat casually.

...

It was late, closing time was approaching, and there were very few diners left in the “Empty City” music restaurant. CC was sitting in a corner, drinking a beer, still not acting like a woman, despite having the body of one.

I sat opposite her, and CC only then realized my presence. She snapped her fingers at the waiter, who then brought me a large glass of draft beer.

CC looked at me and smiled, and asked teasingly, “What's up, Lucas? Did life beat you up again?”

“More or less. You really know me well!” I said, taking a big sip of the beer.

“Otherwise, why are you here so late?”

I didn't say anything, and gulped the beer down as if it were water, until my head started to hurt from the alcohol.

CC just looked at me, occasionally taking a few sips of his own beer, and didn't ask me a question until I stopped. “Go on, tell me, what's upsetting you in life?”

I was silent for a long time before I said, ”You said we are both idealistic people, and it is a beautiful thing to live with ideals and a strong sense of conviction. Why does reality have to give us so many constraints?”

CC thought for a while and said to me, “In fact, over the years I have come to understand one thing: there is nothing wrong with living an idealistic life, but the prerequisite is that you have material support. For example, this music restaurant of mine, it can support me now, and I don't have to worry too much about material things, so I can continue to live this idealistic life. If it wasn't for that unknown customer who supported the restaurant with 100,000 yuan at a critical moment, allowing the restaurant to continue operating, where would I be able to talk about ideals?”

I was silent for a long time before saying, “CC, you're right! Living an idealistic life also requires material support.”

CC was indeed right. Take the incident I encountered this time as an example. If I had a sufficient financial foundation to protect me and I didn't have to worry about my career prospects, and Harlan and Mark were already in high positions at Polaroid, then I could have told Renee about all of this without any worries, fulfilling my conscience and beliefs.

Even if I understand that living an idealistic life requires material support, I still have no intention of changing my decision. I will still tell Renee about Darren's power plot. Perhaps deep down, even if this causes me to lose the hard-won future I have worked so hard for, I still feel it is worthwhile.

After finishing a large glass of draft beer, I ordered another one, while CC just smoked and kept me company. We didn't communicate with each other again. This lack of communication stems from the fact that we see this real world too clearly from an idealistic perspective. Seeing through it makes us tired and we don't want to say anything anymore.

After two large glasses of draft beer, I felt a little dizzy, and my tense emotions gradually relaxed, to the point where I could no longer see CC's face clearly. So while the beer was still hot, I ordered another shot of strong white wine and gulped it down. This kind of drunken binge made my dizziness feel more and more intense, and finally I collapsed on the table in front of CC... My spiritual world was quiet, but I was afraid that the real world tomorrow would be a mess again.

...

The next day, I woke up with a hangover and a headache. It was drizzling outside, the sky was overcast, and I looked inside. I realized I was sleeping in CC's bedroom. I remembered that I had deliberately gotten drunk yesterday.

I lifted the quilt, put on my shoes, and got out of bed. I walked out of the bedroom and found CC asleep on the sofa in the living room. It was already 7:30. I didn't want to disturb CC, so I quietly closed the door and left.

I went downstairs, walked outside the community and hailed a taxi. The destination was not my company, but Jumei. Since I had already made a choice last night, I would follow my own choice.

Twenty minutes later, I arrived at the entrance to the underground parking lot of Jumei and waited for Renee. From what I knew about her, she should not have arrived at the company yet.

After waiting for another 20 minutes or so, I finally saw Renee's red Q7. While she was parking her car in the underground parking lot, I stopped a student-looking boy crossing the street.

I said to the puzzled boy, “Can you do me a favor?”

The boy looked at me warily and asked, ‘What is it?”

I took out the letter from my pocket and handed it to him, saying, ’Deliver this letter to a girl for me.”

The boy suddenly understood, and said, “This is a love letter, right? But now that information is so advanced, why would you write a love letter? You can just send a text message or something.”

“Are you from the 90s?”

“Yes.”

“I'm from the 80s. Do you understand what a generation gap is? In our day, it was fashionable to write love letters. This is called style. Hurry up and give it to her for me. She'll have to get on the elevator soon.” I said anxiously.

“But I'm going to be late for school!”

“Just a little while, it won't delay you from going to school.”

The boy still looked reluctant.

I immediately changed my strategy and asked, “Do you like to look at pretty girls?”

As soon as the boy heard that there was a pretty girl to look at, he immediately asked with great interest, ”Is she a pretty girl?”

“If she's not a pretty girl, do you think I would be interested in her? Don't worry, she's definitely a pretty girl. When you get off the elevator, go to the underground parking lot and wait for her... Remember, she's the one wearing a purple-gray jacket with long hair down to her shoulders and is the most beautiful woman there. Don't make a mistake.”

“Okay, I'll see if she's as pretty as you say she is.” The boy said, finally taking the letter from me.

I reminded him, ”Just give her the letter, don't say anything else, especially don't describe my appearance in front of her, okay?”

The boy nodded knowingly, saying, “I understand. You want to surprise her, right? I wish you success with your confession!”

I nodded approvingly, saying, ”Not bad, we don't have a generation gap.”

The boy grinned, and then ran towards the elevator in the mall... I lit a cigarette and watched him leave quietly, feeling as if I had finally let go of a heavy burden. As for tomorrow, we'll see about that tomorrow...