Chapter Nine: The feelings
886 Words
I couldn’t sleep.
Not even a little.
Tomorrow was the banquet.
And somehow… that felt worse than everything that had already happened.
I sat on the bed, staring at the ceiling.
My thoughts kept going back to Lucien.
His voice.
His eyes.
The way he stood too close like he didn’t care about space.
I groaned and turned on my side.
“Stop thinking about him,” I whispered to myself.
Unfortunately… it didn’t work.
A knock came at the door.
I sat up immediately.
“Who is it?”
No answer.
My heart tightened slightly.
Slowly, I stood up and walked toward the door.
“Hello?”
Still no response.
I hesitated.
Then opened it slightly.
And froze.
Lucien stood there.
Leaning casually against the doorframe like he had been there forever.
My eyes widened.
“What are you doing here?!”
He looked at me.
Then at my face.
Then stepped inside without asking.
Of course he did.
I shut the door quickly behind him.
“You can’t just appear in my room at night like this!”
Lucien turned slightly.
“I knocked.”
“No you didn’t.”
“I did.”
I stared at him.
This man was unbelievable.
“You are lying.”
A faint pause.
Then—
“I don’t lie.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Sure.”
He walked further inside.
I noticed something immediately.
He wasn’t in his usual formal clothes.
Black shirt.
Sleeves rolled slightly.
Relaxed.
Different.
Less Alpha King.
More… him.
That thought made me pause.
“What do you want?” I asked quietly.
Lucien didn’t answer immediately.
Instead, he looked around my room.
Like he was checking something.
Then his eyes returned to me.
“You didn’t sleep.”
It wasn’t a question.
I frowned.
“How do you know?”
He didn’t answer that.
Of course.
Instead, he walked closer.
My chest tightened slightly.
Again.
“You should rest,” he said.
I scoffed.
“Easy for you to say.”
Silence.
Then I added softly.
“I can’t stop thinking about tomorrow.”
Lucien stopped walking.
For a moment, he didn’t speak.
Then—
“You’re afraid.”
It wasn’t teasing.
It was just… observation.
I looked away.
“I’m not.”
He stepped closer.
Now he was too close again.
But this time, it felt different.
Not threatening.
Just… heavy.
Honest.
“You are,” he said quietly.
I hated that he was right.
I hated it more that he could tell.
I sighed.
“Everyone will be there tomorrow.”
Lucien nodded once.
“Yes.”
“And I don’t even know why I’m going.”
Another silence.
Then he said:
“Because I said so.”
I immediately looked at him.
“What kind of answer is that?”
His expression didn’t change.
“The only one that matters here.”
I opened my mouth to argue—
But stopped.
Because something in his eyes changed slightly.
Not cold.
Not distant.
Just… focused.
On me.
I swallowed.
“Why do you always do that?” I asked softly.
“Do what?”
“Make everything sound like I don’t have a choice.”
Lucien was quiet for a moment.
Then he said something lower.
Calmer.
“You always think I’m controlling you.”
I scoffed slightly.
“Aren’t you?”
Silence.
Then he stepped even closer.
Now there was barely space between us.
My breath slowed without permission.
His voice dropped.
“If I was controlling you,” he said, “you wouldn’t still be standing there arguing with me.”
That made me pause.
My heart beat a little faster.
I didn’t know what to say.
He was right.
Annoyingly right.
I looked up at him.
For a moment… neither of us spoke.
The room felt too small again.
Too quiet.
Too aware.
Lucien’s eyes dropped briefly to my lips again.
Then back to my eyes.
My breath caught slightly.
“What are you doing?” I whispered.
He didn’t answer immediately.
Then he reached past me.
I froze completely.
But he wasn’t touching me.
He was just turning off the lamp behind me.
The room fell into dim light.
When he turned back, he was still close.
Too close.
“You should sleep,” he said quietly.
I swallowed.
“Are you leaving?”
A pause.
Then.
“Yes.”
But he didn’t move.
Neither did I.
The silence stretched again.
Something unspoken between us.
Something heavy.
Finally, I whispered:
“Lucien…”
He looked at me.
“Yes?”
I hesitated.
Then—
“Why do I feel like everything changes when you’re close to me?”
That question made him go still.
For a second.
Just one.
Then his expression returned to normal.
But his voice dropped slightly.
“Because you’re not used to the truth.”
I frowned.
“What truth?”
He didn’t answer.
Instead, he took a step back.
Distance returning again.
Safer.
Colder.
Controlled.
“Sleep, Elena.”
Then he left.
The door closed behind him.
And I sat there… staring at the empty space where he stood.
My heart still wasn’t calm.
And that scared me more than anything else.
Because for the first time…
I didn’t know if I was afraid of Lucien.
Or drawn to him.
- Writer
