Painful Determination

Chapter:5a warningtotheheart

I was shocked to my bones to even utter a single word.

It sounded like... gibberish to me , no one had ever said such things to me and I felt my cheeks flushed red hot .

The only boyfriend I had was Paul and ever since he tried kissing me in my second year of college and I had slapped him , a mistake though I had never had a boyfriend.

Up until now that I was 'married' it was looking kind of normal and now that it kept slipping off my mind that I was married , I didn't know what to do.

And to think that Evans was standing right before me.

"Look at me ." He said his voice kind of husky and I tried to sniff a little to know if I could get just a sniff of alcohol into my nostrils maybe he was drunk

Because Evans whom I had met in the morning wasn't this kind or romantic.

I glanced up at him and looked away immediately, I couldn't deny the fact that he was looking ruggedly handsome tonight. The hairs on his chest glistened from the light that the chandeliers overhead cast down on us .

"What did you mean?" I heard myself ask , my voice was so barely above a whisper that I wondered if he had heard me speak . My eyes roamed down his arms that were well defined under the white long sleeves.

He was huge , his chest , oh my goodness, it was now I realized how hot and handsome he was.

I didn't know he was staring at me until his fingers slipped through my jaw raising my face up bringing my eyes to stare at him.

His eyes were gray and I was just finding out now.

"What are you thinking of , mind if you tell me?" He asked again and I found myself swallowing hard.

"Nothing." I said in a small voice, still staring at him , admiring him.

"Why is your voice low?" He asked , I could see a glint of amusement in his eyes as he looked over me. It meant as if he wanted to laugh, I could see a smoke tugging at the sides of his thin sensual lips . " You should speak louder next time ." He said turning away from me. " I didn't mean to turn you on." He walked to the wardrobe and pulled off his shirt revealing dreamy abs.

His chest was broad ,he was a huge man , just that I was so desperate to get married and get out of my situation that I didn't look at him properly.

"Were you aroused?" He asked, staring at me over his shoulders. " I was only trying to make you feel at ease and welcome."

To feel at ease and welcome?

Oh , wow .

Not with him staring at me , looking over me like I was ready to be devoured.

I had suddenly forgotten every question I wanted to ask , my head as blank as paper.

"Did you and my grandmother come in?" He asked me to push a sweat shirt over his head , it looked the same as the other ,tight and fitting and he raised my eyes and hitched my breath when he ran his hands over his hair ruffling it , making him look sexy .

"Yes." I said in a thin voice. " We both came together , this evening after having lunch and Sara—"

And that was when I told myself that it was enough already, I didn't know when I began to babble like a child .

Sara's name made me remember everything I wanted to ask him.

He c****d an eyebrow and fixed his eyes on me.

"What did you say?" He asked, staring at me like I had arrived with the devil.

Did he hear her name? Did it bring back memories?

I searched his eyes quietly if I could see anything, fear , recognition but nothing and I looked away and sat on the bed.

"Have you had dinner?" He asked slowly.

I raised my head to stare at him and nodded numbly.

"Speak when I talk to you." He said his voice low and without feeling.

"Yes,." I said finally. " I had dinner already, I thought you won't be coming back home today."

"Really?" He drawled, his tone sounding as if he was bored. " I will always come back , this is my house."

I turned away, I was feeling sleepy already and was thinking of where I could have my sleep , it means that this was our room now.

I didn't hear him approaching me until he sat on the coach facing me , unscrewing a glass of vodka which he poured into a glass.

He pushed the glass quietly at me in the air

"You drink?" He asked and I shook my head, he took a sip instead. " Why do you agree to get married to me ? " He said . " You took a huge risk ,you barely know me ."

His questions made me look so insignificant and stupid.

It was true though, he was making a whole lot of sense.

I glanced at my phone and I saw the money I was promised if I got married to him.

How would I tell him that I was poor , desperate and needed help.

"You haven't answered my question." He said again when I didn't respond. Then he asked again, something that shook me.

"Do you love me ?".

I blinked and involuntarily swallowed my saliva and began to choke .

"How would you ask me that?" I coughed .

He rose up to his feet slowly and bent to my level, his handsome face inches from mine .

"That's good to hear , because my heart is ice cold , don't bother making it beat ."