City On Fire

2

Duncan walked down the hall to room 133 with a tray of food and a glass of orange juice. Ella hadn’t been to breakfast or lunch and although he was concerned no action was taken to force her. This was not the first time something like this had happened to the poor girl and everyone knew to keep an eye on her but also knew fussing with her too much would result in break down, which in turn would set her recovery back even further. That is, the little recovery she had made.

The sterile white door, complimented with sterile grey frame and more sterile white walls, to room 133 was closed and so Duncan knocked ever so slightly.

“Ella? You skipped lunch today. I thought you might be hungry so I brought you a snack.” There was no answer nor was there any other sound. Pushing open the door something caught under it and was dragged the rest of the way. Duncan sighed as he looked over the charcoal sketches that littered the floor. This had also happened before and he now knew where to find her. Before leaving he picked up one of the drawings which showed a line of people in front of a firing squad. Most of the drawings showed the exact same c*****e. It’s no wonder she was so afraid of falling asleep.

Ella sat with her back to the stump of a Yakaranda tree and stared at the purple blossoms as they fell. She was tired but didn’t dare doze off, not that she could even if she tried. Every time she closed her eyes she saw those people and every time she saw them she was riddled with guilt. Why guilt? Why was this her problem? Why did she have to deal with this? No bloody idea and she hated it.

The garden was always nice and quiet. There were tall trees all around the high brick walls and benches and tables everywhere. Apart from her there were a few others soaking up the sun. From her spot under the tree she had the perfect view of everyone.

Lincoln Eliot sat at a table arranging leaves in groups of what he was sure was the multiples of six even though he could hardly count to fifteen. Link for short, he was a man in his mid forties with an impressive mop of salt and pepper hair and a stocky build. Even hunched over and rocking back and forth the man was pretty attractive. When she had walked out just after eleven he was debating whether thirty was even a multiple of six to begin with but he was up to nine at the moment, with or without thirty. Link was a compulsive paranoid insomniac who talked to himself and had an obsession with numbers. He might not be any good with them but you couldn’t convince him of that. Other than that he was really a very nice guy.

Then there was Frank, no last name, who sat playing chess in the far corner of the garden in the blistering sun every day until someone fetched him for meals and lights out. Sometimes, when they had the time, one of the orderlies would play with him but if there was no one he played alone. He would play the one side and then get up and sit on the opposite chair to play as his opponent, occasionally screaming at the other end of the table that his opponent was a ‘low down dirty cheat’ or a ‘cheese face’.

He was an old man with a grand total of four hairs left on his head and a patchy beard he would not allow anyone to shave. His joints were riddled with arthritis and his back would no longer straighten out.She had once heard form one of the other patients that he was a historian who while doing research for a paper lost his mind. Story went he was doing a paper on the effects of brainwashing on criminals of war. His study included sleep deprivation, solitary confinement, starvation and several tapes looped to play endless hours of a voice telling him how worthless he is.

Two things went wrong with his study. First being that he was the subject being exposed to these parameters and second being that it had the exact effect on the human psyche he was looking for. The problem now was of course that he had lost his sanity. The family he had took him to every quack farm they could find and much like Ella this was the last place on their list.

Between her and the two of them they were the long term residence, she being here for almost six months. The three of them were the only ones not getting better. Other patients came with heavy hearts and went with rested eyes and rejuvenated souls, but not them. So while they hid away in their usual corners others interacted, took long walks through the garden and assisted staff with small chores only to be released not even a month later. Those people had no idea what it was like. They didn’t know how it felt not to sleep for days, the nightmares you can’t wake up from, walking around with all of it replaying in your head...

She watched as a heart shaped cloud drifted overhead and remembered her mother always saying how it was God reminding people that he loved them, although she didn’t feel much loved at the moment. Why she thought of her mother of all people at a time like this she wouldn’t know

“Ella.”

Duncan walked up to her carrying an apple and tossed it at her. Smiling she caught it and held it in her hands.

“Thought you might be hungry. That and I wanted to make sure you didn’t miss your session.”

Duncan knew she didn’t want company and he didn’t invite himself. “Thanks, I didn’t forget.”

He turned and left, his gentle smile fading as he di. Who was he kidding, she wasn’t getting any better.

Ella sat staring at the bright red apple as another cloud passed by but she didn’t bother looking to see it was heart shaped or not. She felt dizzy getting up and had to steady herself against the tree. Dizzy she might be but she sure as hell wasn’t hungry and handed the apple to Link as she walked past. He in turn looked over the trying to figure out what pile of leaves to sort it into.