The Love Between Our Lies

Chapter2-TheChoice

Vivi’s POV

I chose the second option.

Alex was standing in front of me.

His eyes filled with hope.

I looked at him and thought about Ethan.

Maybe this is my chance.

Maybe marrying Alex was not actually a bad idea.

After all Alex was kind. He understood me and he had been there whenever I needed someone.

And if I became his wife, I could always be in Ethan’s life.

It made sense in my head.

At least then.

“Alex…”

I hesitated.

He took a small step closer.

“You don’t have to give me an answer right now.”

“I know.”

“I just wanted to let you know how I felt.”

I looked down at my hands.

“For how long have you felt this way?”

He smiled faintly.

“For a very long time.”

“How long?”

“Long enough.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Because I knew you loved someone else.”

My heart stopped.

He knew.

I didn’t ask who he meant.

There was only one person it could be.

“Ethan.” I whispered.

Alex nodded.

“You never had to say the name. I could see it every time you looked at him.”

Shame washed over me.

I had thought I kept my feelings well hidden enough.

Well I guess not.

“Alex I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want you to be sorry.”

“Then what do you want?”

He looked at me for a moment.

“You.”

The answer was simple and honest.

And completely unfair to him.

Because I knew I couldn’t give him what he wanted.

Not completely.

Because I also knew what I wanted.

I wanted Ethan.

And if marrying Alex could keep me close to him, then maybe I can try.

Maybe love could grow.

Maybe I could eventually forget the feelings I had carried for years.

I reached for Alex’s hand.

“I’ll marry you.”

He stared at me.

For a moment he didn’t believe what he heard.

“You mean it?”

I nodded.

“Yes.”

His entire expression changed.

He smiled.

Then he pulled me into his arms.

I closed my eyes.

His embrace was warm, safe and comforting.

But my mind was somewhere else.

I was thinking about Ethan.

I was thinking about how my life would look if I became Alex’s wife.

I imagined a family dinner where Ethan would sit across from me.

Holiday trips, birthdays and every important moment.

I never have to worry about losing Ethan because I am becoming his family officially.

At that time I didn’t see how selfish my decision had become.

I only saw what I wanted.

A few weeks later our engagement was announced.

Our families were overjoyed.

My mother hugged me so tightly that I could barely breathe.

Alex's parents were discussing the engagement plans.

Everyone seemed happy regarding our engagement.

Everyone except me.

Not because I didn’t want to.

I wanted it, I wanted what came with it.

I wanted to be close to Ethan.

When I told Ethan about the engagement he looked surprised.

“You’re getting married?”

I smiled.

“That’s usually what an engagement means.”

“I can’t believe Alex didn’t tell me.”

“He wanted you to hear from me.”

Ethan looked at me.

“Are you happy?”

That question left me speechless.

I smiled.

“Of course I’m happy.”

He nodded.

“Then I’m happy for you.”

I waited.

For something, anything.

Jealousy, a change of expression or a realization that he is losing me.

There was nothing.

Ethan hugged me

“Welcome to the family, Vivi.”

My heart sank.

He meant it. He was honest.

He was welcoming me as his sister in law.

Not as the girl he once promised to marry.

I hugged him back.

“Thank you.”

He pulled away.

“You know I will always be here for you.”

I smiled. This was exactly what I wanted to hear.

But I didn’t realize his words would mean something completely different to me later.

The wedding preparations began.

My mother spent hours discussing my dresses.

Alex wanted everything simple.

I pretended to care while thinking about Ethan.

Would he be there?

Would he sit close to us?

Would he bring a date?

And honestly the last thought always made me think more.

Then one evening, he arrived at the house with a girl.

My heart dropped.

She was beautiful.

And Ethan was smiling at her.

I stood frozen at the top of the stairs.

I didn’t know who she was, I didn’t know why she was by his side.

And Ethan never for once mentioned her to me.

For the first time since I agreed to marry Ethan I felt something I didn’t expect.

Fear.

Maybe I had made this decision too late.

Maybe Ethan had already moved on without me.

Maybe marrying Alex would only make me watch Ethan fall in love with another woman.

That thought followed me down the stairs.

I tried to convince myself that I was just overthinking it.

Ethan could have friends. He could have classmates.

He was allowed to have a life outside of mine.

But there was something about the way he looked at her that made my chest tighten.

He looked happy. Too happy around the girl.

“Ethan,” I called.

He turned.

Immediately his smile widened.

“Vivi.”

The girl beside him looked at me.

Ethan walked toward me.

“I want you to meet someone.”

“Who is she?”

I said, forcing out a smile.

“This is Maya Rivera.”

Maya smiled warmly.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

I returned with a smile even though my thoughts were racing.

Maya looked familiar but I couldn’t remember where I met her.

Ethan placed his hand on her shoulder.

“She came back to New York.”

“Oh.”

I looked at him.

“And you two know each other?”

“Yeah we’ve known each other a little while.”

A little while.

Those words bothered me more than they should have.

“How long?”

Ethan laughed.

“Are you interrogating me?”

“No I’m not.”

“Well you definitely are.”

Maya laughed softly.

“Don’t worry he talks about you all the time.”

I looked at her.

“He does?”

I smiled politely.

But inside I was confused.

Why had Ethan never mentioned her?

I glanced between them.

There is something I couldn’t explain.

Before I could say anything. Alex walked into the room.

He looked at me first.

Then he faced Ethan and Maya.

“What did I miss?”

“Nothing.” Ethan said

Alex smiled.

Then he noticed my expression.

“Vivi?”

“I’m fine.”

He didn’t look convinced.

Maya stepped forward to greet Alex.

“I’m Maya.”

Alex shook her hand.

“Alex.”

“Congratulations on your engagement.”

“Thank you.”

I watched them speak but my attention was on Ethan.

He was laughing at something Maya had said.

He has never looked at me that way.

That night after everyone had left I couldn’t sleep.

I kept thinking about Maya.

Who was she to Ethan?

Why hadn’t Ethan told me about her?

I got out of bed and walked to the window.

Across the street, the Blackwood house was still lit.

I wondered if Ethan was still awake.

I wondered if Maya was still there.

Then my phone buzzed.

It was Ethan.

“You awake?”

I stared at the message.

Then replied “yes.”

His replies came quickly.

“I wanted to tell you something.”

I sat at the edge of bed.

“What?”

The typing bubble appeared.

Then disappeared.

Then appeared again.

Finally he replied.

“I’m glad you’re marrying Alex.”

I stared at the screen.

My chest tightened.

I didn’t know what I expected him to say.

Maybe that he was worried, that he didn’t want me to get married or that he realized that he loved me.

Instead, he was happy.

Happy that I’m marrying his brother.

I replied “why?”

His message came immediately.

“Because you’re family now.”

Family. That word seemed to follow me everywhere.

I placed my phone beside me. At that point I wondered if Ethan had ever considered me anything more than that.

Maybe he never did.

Maybe the childhood promise meant nothing to him.

Maybe just maybe I had spent my life building a future around a memory that only existed in my heart.

My eyes filled with tears but I refused to let them fall.

I had already made my choice.

I was going to marry Alex and ma going to make it work.

Even if a part of me still wants Ethan.

The next morning…

I woke up determined to forget about Maya.

I went downstairs and found my mother speaking excitedly about the wedding.

“The invitations need to be sent out soon.” She said.

I nodded.

“Okay.”

Then my phone buzzed.

It was Ethan, again.

“Maya wants to meet you.”

I looked at the message. Maya.

The girl I spent all night trying not to think about.

“Why?”

“She said she wants to know you.”

I hesitated.

“Okay.”

I didn’t know it but agreeing to meet Maya would become one the most important decisions I would make.

Because Maya wasn’t going to become a stranger in my life.

She was going to become my closest friend.

The person I would eventually tell all my deepest secrets to.

The person I would tell about Ethan.

And the person that would hide her feelings from me.