Sophia
Our silence made it difficult to breathe.
Lucas said little each evening, but his gaze this night exuded fresh vitality. His intense look caused my skin to react by raising little hair strands at the back of my neck. We remained on opposite ends of the dining table since the candlelight made the room look darker around the edges.
I hadn't spoken with Lucas in many weeks since I discovered I was pregnant. After that night, I kept away from him and avoided associating with him. However, tonight, something felt... off.
Lucas urged me quietly, "Write down how you want your life to develop over the next year."
I froze. He offered a clear inquiry to assess my goals while seeming casual. He wanted to know what my future ambitions were outside of our agreement. He viewed the issue as an amusement, whereas I decided to refuse his game.
I responded with a shoulder raise, making my remark appear nonchalant. "Maybe somewhere far away from here."
His sight switched swiftly, yet his face still looked the same. "Far away? From me?"
I couldn't find the correct words to respond to his look. My sentiments for him had already become as remote as physical separation. Our marriage began as a commercial transaction, and it continues to this day. A profound relationship like this carried serious hazards for both of us.
When you question the future, you want something else. I inquired, my voice harsh. Your sole concern right now is whether I will stay for a full year.
Lucas did not flinch. The man regarded me with a fierce gray glare while he remained silent in his seat. "I'm asking because I'm wondering; you've seemed... distant recently.
Knowing what happens within my home bothers me.
The feeling of being distant made me angrier than I wanted to show. Of course, I'd been distant; how could I not be? Attempts at closeness caused me to move further away because I needed to escape from the reality that I couldn't accept. I was carrying his child, which required me to emotionally distance myself from him.
I answered in a calmer tone, telling him that he need not be concerned with me; my presence exists just to execute our commercial deal.
His mouth twitched without producing a true grin. At that point, he added deliberately, "You're the only person who has ever gotten me interested."
His words pierced my heart and shook me from within. When he talked to me, no words came out of my lips. He unwittingly crossed the barriers that separated me from others. I wanted to explain to him that our tie extended beyond legal grounds as he came to mean more to me. But I did not.
Instead, I simply nodded. You will certainly lose interest in me someday.
Lucas returned to his chair after observing me for quite some time, drumming his fingertips on the flat surface. "Maybe."
The moment passed without the gravity of previous debate days. Despite my efforts to disregard my suspicions, Lucas was uncovering the truth. And it scared me.
My anxieties began to rise as time ran short.
Lucas was approaching too closely. The minor actions I was performing without realizing the consequences began to disclose my secrets to him.
He carefully scrutinized my activities to determine the person beneath my façade. Day after day, my meticulously kept front grew increasingly difficult to manage.
I needed to go.
The airline ticket featured my fictitious name for one-way travel to a city unknown to everyone else. I had already rented my new London flat and created new identity documents while planning my escape from Lucas and his controlling setup.
I needed to do one vital work before leaving.
Before departing for my vacation, I looked in the bedroom mirror and saw the lady who had taken shape. My gaze fell on someone new standing in front of me, who was now quite defensive. This changed version of myself exists simply to help me cope with living with Lucas in our current situation.
Someone lightly tapped on the door, interrupting my time of thought.
My heartbeat increased, prompting me to look around, and I found myself unprepared for what I saw.
He remained at the door, his muscular figure beside the entryway, without displaying any emotion. He observed me silently for a few seconds, trying to imagine my change.
"You're leaving tomorrow, right?" he inquired eventually.
I blinked, taken off guard. "What?"
He said his words lightly. You planned all of your departure dates. "I understand."
My blood raced cold; I'd made every effort to remain inconspicuous; how could he have known?
Before I could respond, Lucas approached me and gently grasped my forearm.
"Hey." His tone softened as warmth appeared in his voice for the first time. "I don't want you to go."
The words and his sincere tone made my breath catch in my throat, and his honest transmission and overwhelming words pushed my determination to leave. I felt myself beginning to lose control before remembering why I was leaving his life.
He whispered reflexively that of all the people he had met; he didn't want the closeness to end. "Something inside both of us needs me to be a part of your life. Please."
I could not breathe.
But I realized I had no choice. I could not stay. The presence of the infant, along with my hidden secrets, forced me to keep my pledge to depart.
The words slipped my lips silently with a gentle breath. "I'm sorry, but I can't."
Lucas indicated his reluctance with a brief break in eye contact. He distanced himself from me, but his fingers stayed on my body till I walked away. He replied in a dreary tone. "You have your reasons."
My thoughts went numb, and I remained silent while my heart ached inside. The words wouldn’t come. I faced away from him when I left the room while my heartbeat thrashed loudly.
The following morning, I was gone.
Before Lucas woke up, I gathered my stuff and went, leaving an unoccupied pillow on his side of the bed. I barely retained a few items in my wardrobe after I left.
The phone call obliterated all indications that I had ever lived there.
Without any formal notification, I departed from his sight. There was no reason to. He required no information about my goals or purposes before I went.
Without turning back, I entered the cab, confident that Lucas would uncover the truth about my leaving shortly.
As a dedicated guy who defended what was his, I knew he'd fight to keep me.
Three days following what happened, I received a package.
As I unloaded my belongings in my new flat, the doorbell rang. When I opened the door, I saw a simple parcel on my porch.
I inspected the package in confusion when it arrived since I didn't know who had sent it.
I made the initial step toward opening the package with a visible shake of my hands. The photograph was sent as a single sheet with mild evidence of handling wear.
When I viewed the photo, I had a stunned expression. It was a baby. I kept my concealed child a secret from Lucas. Because I never told anybody about my pregnancy, I kept the child from his and everyone else's awareness.
A sensation of intense horror swept over me. How had he discovered this? How had he known?
I fought to move my lungs as I realized Lucas would not leave me alone. I made the worst choice I ever made at that time.
She was puzzled as to why she had kept this information from him.