Friday 6th November 1970
323 Words
Friday 6th November 1970
My lovely, dearest, darling Julia,
I have agonised over how to begin this letter. I have no idea how to explain, except to say that you have been in my thoughts since the second I last saw you. I watched your tears as I went away, and I need you to know that I have never got over that sight of you.
I wish more than anything that you can forgive the way I left. There were reasons, and they are very complex. I was unable to tell you about them then. I want to tell you everything now. The whole truth. But not in a letter.
I have never left you. I have kept watch over your life. Your troubles, which made me ache for you, my wonderful, darling girl; your marriage; your unhappiness. You ARE unhappy, aren’t you, my beautiful Julia?
I need you to know that the love I had for you then remains exactly as it was. It has never changed within me, not even through all the years we have been apart. Do you feel it? In the way you always said you could? I know you do. Every day when I awake, I reach out, only to find you are not there. Do you reach for me, too? For years, I have wanted to take your hand and stroke your face with my thumb – do you remember that?
I am back in the house. I had to. I know how much you loved it. And I want you here, beside me, in it once more.
Say you will return to me. Please. Even if it is just for one day, so that we can say goodbye. I don’t want to say goodbye ever again. Do you?
Please reply to me. And please destroy this letter. It is very important that you do, my darling girl.
You are in my dreams, always.
With all the love I have always had for you,
Alex.
x – x – x
- Writer
