THE SECRET INSIDE ME
978 Words
POV: Aria
The nausea didn’t stop this time.
I tried to ignore it at first, told myself it was stress, that everything that had happened was enough to throw my body off balance. But it stayed. It sat there, heavy and constant, refusing to pass no matter how still I kept myself.
By mid-morning, I couldn’t focus anymore. The screen blurred just enough to make it hard to read, and when I shifted in my seat, the dizziness followed immediately, sharper this time. I stood too quickly, thinking movement would shake it off, but the room tilted instead. Not enough to fall, just enough to make my breath catch as my hand pressed hard against the desk to steady myself.
That was when it clicked, this wasn’t stress.
I grabbed my bag and left before I could think twice about it.
The hospital moved around me like everything made sense there, like people knew what they were doing, where they were going. I didn’t. I stood at the desk, forcing my voice steady.
“I need to see a doctor.”
The wait didn’t feel long. It felt tight. Like everything was closing in around one answer I wasn’t ready for. My hands stayed in my lap, but my fingers kept tightening on their own, like my body already knew.
“Aria Cole?”
I stood immediately.
The doctor didn’t waste time. Questions came, simple and direct, and I answered without thinking until one of them stopped me.
“When was your last cycle?”
I hesitated.
Not because I didn’t know but, because I hadn’t thought about it.
“Recently,” I said, but it sounded uncertain even to me.
He nodded and wrote something down. “We’ll run a test to confirm.”
Confirm….I didn’t ask what.
I already knew.
The wait after that pressed in harder.
My mind didn’t stay still. It jumped, fast and uneven, back to pieces I couldn’t fully hold onto.
The music.
The lights.
His voice.
Low. Steady.
“You won’t remember this tomorrow.”
My chest tightened.
I shut my eyes briefly….No.
I wasn’t going there.
The door opened.
The doctor stepped in, file in hand, expression unchanged.
“The result is positive.”
The words landed clean and final.
“No,” I said immediately.
He didn’t react. “It’s early, but the test is clear.”
“No,” I repeated, but it didn’t carry the same weight the second time.
My grip tightened against the edge of the bed as everything started to settle whether I accepted it or not,
One night.
One mistake.
One moment I couldn’t even fully remember…..and now this.
“What are my options?” I asked.
The words didn’t feel like mine.
He explained. Calm. Clinical. Simple.
Nothing about it felt simple.
“I’ll think about it,” I said.
Because there was nothing else to say.
Outside, the world didn’t look different.
It just felt wrong.
Pregnant.
The word stayed sharp, like it didn’t belong to me yet.
I started walking without thinking about where I was going.
“Where were you?”
I stopped.
Ryan.
He stood a few steps away, watching me too closely, like he had already been waiting.
“You left work,” he said. “No notice.”
I didn’t answer.
His gaze sharpened. “You went to the hospital.”
That made me look at him.
“You’ve been following me?”
“I’ve been paying attention.”
That wasn’t better.
“What happened?” he asked.
It wasn’t concern, it felt like pressure.
“I wasn’t feeling well.”
He didn’t accept it. “For that long?”
I held his gaze and said nothing.
That was enough.
Something shifted in his expression, something sharper, and more focused,
“What aren’t you telling me?”
“I said I wasn’t feeling well.”
“And I’m saying that’s not enough.”
His voice dropped, tighter now, controlled in a way that made it worse.
“Aria,” he said, stepping closer. “Look at me.”
I didn't move. His jaw tightened.
“Who is he?” The question came sharp, without buildup or pause. Everything inside me stilled. I didn’t answer. I couldn’t, because saying anything would make it real.
“So it’s true,” he said.
“It’s not what you think.”
It sounded weak even to me.
“It’s exactly what I think,” he snapped, control slipping now. “You disappear, go to a hospital, won’t answer me, and you expect me to stand here and believe nothing’s wrong?”
People were noticing.
I felt it without looking.
“You don’t get to question me,” I said.
That pushed him further.
Ryan let out a short, sharp laugh. “I don’t?”
He stepped closer, his voice lower but cutting through the space,
“You cheat, you disappear, and now you act like I’m the problem?”
“I didn’t cheat.”
“Then explain it.”
I didn’t because the truth wasn’t something I could say out loud.
That silence answered everything.
His expression hardened into something final.
“Unbelievable,” he said. “You really thought you could hide it.”
The words carried, and
people heard.
I felt it settle around me instantly.
Ryan looked at me one last time, something cold locking into place,
“You’re exactly what they’re saying you are.”
Then he walked away.
I didn’t follow. I didn’t defend myself. I didn’t say anything because none of it would change what had already started.
My hand moved slowly to my stomach, the gesture automatic, unfamiliar, but it stayed.
And for the first time…
it didn’t feel distant anymore.
It felt real, too real.
My breath left me slowly as the weight settled fully.
“I can’t keep this baby.”
- Writer
