Secrets in A Small Town

15

Cade pushes up against the back of the taxi seat. It is only six blocks, but they opted not to walk as the temperature is already in the triple digits. It suddenly makes them ever so grateful for their chilly, mountainess hometown.

"Nervous?" She asks.

"A little, I guess." Cade replies in a small voice.

"I'll be right here with you." Brooke says, knowing that always seems to comfort Cade, knowing she is by his side.

They get out of the car, paying thier $2.89 fare. Brooke has been around enough to know how this works. From family vacations and school trips. Cade on the other hand seems more than a little intimidated by the amount of people and fall buildings. She is glad they are only in Phoenix and not New York City.

She takes his hand as they walk into a plaza. They pass a couple boutique shoppes and hole in the wall restaurants before they reach and office. There is no sign aside from some blocky white lettering on the door, "Regina Guiness, Psychotherapist."

Cade stops before they're standing in front of it.

"It's okay, honey." Brooke tries to coax him. He stands his ground.

"She is just going to talk to you." She tries again. Cade isn't exactly the type to open up to new people. Luckily there is no one else too close to them to hear the conversation.

"Brooke, I don't know about this." He finally spits out.

"What's wrong?" She pulls him into her.

"You're the only person that knows. I'm not sure I am ready." He whispers.

She strokes the hair on the back of his head.

"I know. She is a doctor though, Cade. She can't tell anyone and she has seen this before. And if she can't help, I am not going to love you any less than before we came here."

She isn't sure if he was fishing for reassurance or not, but either way, it seemed to loosen him up enough to pull away from her and pull on the door. It's locked.

They look at eachother blankly and then try pulling it again to find themselves in the same dilemma. Suddenly there is a click. Brooke happened to notice there is a security camera pointed right at them.

"Guess they had to buzz us in." She says, pulling the door again. This time it does open and they walk inside, door shutting gently behind them.

They are surprised to see the room is much bigger than they expected. It too has a big window, outlooking the city. There is a vacant desk in the front, where you would expect a secretary to be. The room is empty and silent, though, aside from some classical music playing quietly over a speaker on the ceiling.

"Hello, hello!" They hear a voice come from behind them.

It's the woman Brooke recognizes as Regina, from the videos and articles. She is short, with greying blonde hair, shoulder length.

"It's so nice to meet you!" She pulls them both in for a hug. Cade plasters himself to Brooke's side. She slings an arm around his shoulder.

"Hi, I'm Brooke." She says, smiling.

"This is Cade."

"Oh, I know who you are, sweethearts." She babbles.

"My name is Regina, but you can call me Gina. Come on, come on back." She motions a hand toward another door, this one wood and heavy looking.

Cade's steps are slow and heavy, but Brooke pulls him along by the hand. The room is what you would expect in every shrink movie you have ever seen. White walls, with a couch in the middle of the room. It does have a peaceful vibe though.

"Sit down." She says, pointing at the couch.

They do as told and Cade sits so close he is nearly on Brooke's lap. She keeps her arm around his waist, squeezing his side.

"How was your flight?" She asks, shuffling through some papers on a small desk.

"It was great, we so appreciate you doing all of this for us."

"Oh dear, when I first read your email, I just had a feeling." She hands her a clipboard and a bottle of water. She hands one to Cade too.

"This is just a small contract. We had talked about using your story in my newest book. It states your share of the loyalites as well as your right to using an alius for privacy purposes."

Brooke signs it and then hands the pen to Cade. He looks at her, then at Gina, then back at the clipboard. He signs it slowly and hands it back.

"You don't talk much, do you, Cade?" She winks. Cade just looks at her.

"Alright, great. Well, let's get started." She pulls up a chair and sits in front of the two.

"So, how long have you two been together?" She asks, holding another clipboard, with a blank piece of paper.

Brooke looks to Cade, but he stays quiet.

"A little over six months." She finally replies.

She smiles, but doesn't write on the paper.

"Pretty big milestone, huh?" She laughs.

"So, Cade. Can you tell me a little bit about yourself?" She asks.

Cade's eyes grow wide. He looks at Brooke.

"It's okay." She squeezes his hand.

"I um...I work at a hardware store." He says blankly, then takes a sip of the water.

Gina nods.

"Oh, how long have you been there?"

She makes small talk with Cade for quite a while. He mostly responds with one word answers, but seems to be warning up a little bit.

"Can you tell me a little about your upbringing?" She asks, holding the pen in her hand, as if she is actually going to write something with it this time.

"I--uh--I grew up in foster homes. My parents were--- " he stops then gets choked up.

"Dead." He says.

Gina does write something down quickly.

She goes back into a lighter subject. Asking him about work and hobbies. He does sit up a little straighter. They talk for a while. Cade relaxes a little, though soon enough he has downed the whole bottle.

Suddenly it's been two hours.

Brooke was almost drifting off to sleep when she began noticing the all too familiar signs. Cade starts to fidget in her side. His hands remain planted to his legs. He starts to get quiet. His body tenses up.

"I think it's time for a little break, huh?" She says.

"Have a snack or bathroom is right there around the corner. Go stretch out those legs."

She gets up too.

She knows. She must have picked up the signs from past clients with this problem. She walks over to the desk and sits down.

Brooke grabs Cade's hand. His free hand has to resist from grabbing himself.

She finds the bathroom soon enough. It's a single, family room. Brooke tries to push Cade in, but he drags her in with him. He unbuttons his jeans as fast as his hands will let him and is already spraying full force by the time he whips his d**k out. He must have been going for a little while because the stream taps off quickly.

"Did you wet your pants?" She asks.

"Yeah." He says drained. As if he had been trying to hold it for a while.

Brooke digs in the small backpack she had brought and hands him another pair of underwear. He smiles, shedding off the wet ones. He cleans himself off with the faucet as best he can. She came prepared with a large bunch of Wal-Mart bags.

She tucks the damp bag back into her back pack and buttons it before kissing Cade on the cheek.

"How long do you think were gonna be here?" He asks.

"I don't know. Probably a while yet. She hasn't even gotten into the problem yet." Brooke says way too nonchalantly.

Cade's face falls. Brooke immedietly notices her mistake.

"Not problem. The situation at hand." She corrects herself. Cade nods, seeming to be getting nervous all over again.

Brooke walks him out of the bathroom. Gina is sitting at the desk in the front. She whips around in a spinning chair when she hears the door close.

She leads them back into the office.

"Alright, Cade. We're gonna start stepping into the deep end. Would that be okay?" She asks, leaning foward, toward him on her chair.

Cade looks at Brooke, who slides her hand back into his.

Cade nods, looking down.

"So what is the first accident you remember?" She asks intently.

Cade looks up.

"Uh...I have always had them, there has really never been a specific one."

"Any that stand out in particular?"

Cade looks to Brooke then back up again. He figures he is in this deep, he has no dignity left to lose.

"I guess, when I found out it was bad was in second grade. In kindergarten and first grade, sometimes it would happen to other kids. By second grade, it was only me...and I remember one time...we were in P.E. class..." He trails off.

Brooke's heart starts beating a million miles an hour. She remembers this story. She grits her teeth.

"We had all made the teacher pretty angry and he was making us run laps. I asked to go...and..." He trails off again.

"He told me no."

"I ended up going through my gym shorts."

Brooke closes her eyes.

"That's when the bullying started."

Cade doesn't go into any further detail, thank God. Brooke doesn't know if she could handle that.

She happens to remember this event. It was a many of her friends. She remembers laughing with another girlfriend of hers at the time.

"And that's when you realized maybe there was something wrong?"

Cade nods.

"Where were you living at this time?"

Cade bites his lip.

"Um. One of the families." Is all he says, like he had been through so many he couldn't even place which one.

Gina writes something down.

"Tell me about your home life with the wetting."

Cade sighs.

"That's why most of my families got rid of me. A lot of them were just in it for the paycheck. I would be forced to sleep on the floor, or the bathtub, or in wet sheets if I couldn't control myself. So I started staying up all night. Which lead to me falling asleep in class." He stops.

Brooke remembers that too. She had always wondered why the teachers just let him sleep. They had probably known about the situation too.

"What would your classmates do when you had an accident?"

Cade ponders for a second.

"Laugh."

"And how did that make you feel?"

"I started shutting down I guess. If I wasn't close to anyone, they couldn't hurt me."

Gina nods.

"Did you have any friends?"

Cade shakes his head.

"Nobody wanted to be friends with the baby who cried and peed his pants."

"Was everyone a bully?"

Cade looks down, and nods slightly.

"Did anyone ever stand up for you?"

"No." He whispers.

"And how did that affect you emotionally?"

Cade sighs.

"I guess that was when I started contemplating suicide."

Brooke can't breath, she excuses herself. She can already feel herself starting to cry. She sits on the waiting bench outside, sobbing into her hands. Heart pounding inside of her chest. Her body is shaking.

She hears the door click shut. She feels arms around her body.

"You didn't know any better, Brooke." Cade says, sounding cool as a cucumber.

"I was friends with those people, Cade. I let it happen.

Cade is quiet. It's not that that isn't true.

"We were just kids." He says.

"I should have helped you." She sobs.

"You have."

Brooke sits up striaght, shaking her head.

"I am so sorry."

Cade hugs her tighter.

"You have no reason to be sorry, Brooke." He consoles.

"Why didn't you ever tell me you contemplated suicide?"

Cade sighs.

"I haven't since we got together." He tries.

Brooke looks at him, wondering where he is going with this.

"If you hadn't been there that day, I wouldn't be here." Cade starts to choke up.

"I couldn't tell you. We all make mistakes when we are young. You have done so much more than apologize for it."

That actually makes Brooke feel even worse about the whole thing and she starts ugly crying again. This time, Cade holds her. That is until Gina walks out of the side door.

"Everything alright out here?" She says across the empty room.

It's Cade who speaks up, "Yeah. Can we have a minute?"

Gina slides back into the office.

"You're okay." He pushes her up.

She manages to collect herself, taking in slow, deep breaths. It's quiet for a while, until Gina walks out the door.

"I think that's enough for today. Can we meet back here tomorrow at 10?"

Cade nods. "Sure, thanks." He pulls Brooke up and they walk back outside, hailing a taxi.

They're nearly back to the hotel when Brooke breaks the silence.

"Cade?"

"Yeah?"

"What do you mean you wouldn't be here if it weren't for me?"

Cade sighs. The taxi pulls up the hotel. He slips the driver a 10 and gets out of the car. He holds Brooke's hand all the way up to the room and shuts the door behind them.

He sits on the bed, pulling her into his lap. He takes in a deep breath.

"I was going to end that night, Brooke."

"End it?" She questions.

Brooke's heart, which has finally calmed down, begins racing again.

"I was weak. When I saw you standing there. I thought for sure you were going to call me names, or bring up some story from junior high. Mock me. But you didn't you asked to be my friend. I had never had a friend before. Let alone the most beautiful girl I had ever met."

Brooke starts shivering.

"You pulled me out of a really really dark place. If you hadn't come in that day..." he stops.

"I wouldn't be here."