Angel Series Books 1-3 Boxed Set

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I pocketed a credit card and put everything else back into the safe. Using one of the hotel’s pens I practiced signing my new surname a number of times until I was confident enough to sign the small strip on the back of the credit card. It was a pity I didn’t have a PIN number. Perhaps I’d ring the number on the back of Danny’s note later and see if one could be arranged. For now, though, it was time for some shopping. I didn’t want to be in the room when the housekeeping staff came to service it.

I wish I still had Death and the feather, I thought. I’d keep them in the safe until I needed them. There’s no way I’d want the staff coming across the blade. It would raise too many questions.

I altered my genetic code sets so that I was wearing my mortal scent, picked up the swipe card and headed to the elevator. I pressed the button and tapped my foot impatiently.

“Come on, come on. Why do they always take forever?”

When the elevator arrived it was empty. I was on the top floor, so unless the staff used this lift I should be the only one to travel this far. Of course there’d probably be the odd guest who pressed the wrong button, or wondered what celebrity might be staying in the penthouse suite.

The elevator stopped at four floors on the way down and it got a little crowded. I pressed myself into a corner, trying to keep away from all the bodies. It was close to lunchtime after all and people did get hungry. I was glad when we finally reached the ground floor and everyone filed out.

I stopped by the front desk. Peter was still on duty.

“I’m so sorry to have caused such a fuss,” I said. “I don’t know how I managed to sleep so long.”

Peter held up his hand, his palm facing me. It was clear he wanted me to stop talking.

“No need to apologise, Helena.” He smiled. “We do have a duty of care to all our guests, even those with permanent residency. We were only concerned for your health and safety.”

“Could I possibly leave my card here? I’d hate to lose it. I’m always losing things.” I rolled my eyes. “That’s why Mr Malakh takes care of all of the finances. I would have lost all our money by now.”

I laughed and hoped it was convincing.

“Might I say you have a lovely smile when you laugh, quite becoming. I would not have thought it possible for you to look more beautiful, yet the rest you had seems to have made the world of difference. You are simply stunning, Mrs Malakh.”

“Helena,” I reminded him, “and you’re going to make me blush if you keep saying such things.”

“I’m so sorry, Helena. It appears my mouth runs away with me whenever you are near.”

Peter leaned forward conspiratorially and cupped a hand to the side of his mouth. It seemed we were going to share many a secret whisper.

“My wife would be most upset to think she’s not the only one to have such an effect on me.”

I laughed and handed Peter my card.

“Your secret is safe with me, but I have been known to resort to blackmail in times of great need,” I replied, winking at him.

“There’s nothing like a bit of intrigue to brighten up the day,” he laughed.

“See you later, Peter.”

“Alas, dear lady, no. My shift ended an hour ago.”

“Then why are you still here?” I asked.

“James, who should be manning the front desk now, had an appointment at the dentist. He’ll be here shortly, though judging from the pain he was in the other day you won’t be able to understand a word he utters — Marcaine you know.”

I laughed and waved as I left the hotel. Presumably Marcaine was an anaesthetic used by dentists. I wouldn’t know, having never had so much as a filling in my life.

It was nice to deal with someone who seemed so kind and considerate, even if it was his job. I hoped James was just as nice as Peter, Marcaine or not.

I was at the ritzy end of town and didn’t have far to walk to find some upmarket clothing stores. I felt awkward stepping into my first store, based on what I was currently wearing. When the matronly sales woman asked if she could help me I explained that my luggage had been lost and the gentleman at the front desk of the La’miere — it never hurt to drop names — had directed me here.

“You poor dear,” she tutted. “It happens far too often. The airlines should be held more accountable for lost baggage. Come with me and let’s see what we can find.”

She gently placed her arm around me and guided me towards the racks of very exclusive clothing.

“Shall we start with evening wear or casual attire?” she asked.

“I think we should start casual and work our way up. I’ll also need lingerie and shoes. Oh, and I’ll be needing accessories and makeup. Perhaps you can recommend some stores when we’ve finished here?”

I had this woman pegged as someone who enjoyed helping others, a real mother hen.

“Quite right,” she said. “You’ll be needing more than we can provide here,” she patted my arm gently, concern on her face. “I’ll make a few calls to ensure you’re well looked after.”

“Thank you,” I said, touched by how genuinely she seemed to care. “I’d like to tell the owner of the store what a wonderful employee she has. What name should I give her?”

The sales woman beamed at me, clearly appreciative. “My name is Marlene, and there’s no need to contact the owner, you’re looking at her.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise.”

“Not at all my dear. I’m quite flattered. I’ve always been very hands on, I can’t help it. I love clothes so much. And might I know your name?”

“Helena,” I said. “Helena Malakh.”

“Well, Helena, let’s get started. The day is half over and we’ve got lots to do.”

I spent three hours with Marlene choosing a variety of garments for day and night. I knew I’d need to find a department store for the basics like t-shirts, sweat tops and socks, but that could wait for tomorrow. Today I still had two shoe stores — one dealing only in ladies footwear, and one of the sporting variety, stocking men’s and women’s footwear — and a lingerie store to visit.

Marlene arranged for my purchases — far too many for me to carry — to be delivered to the hotel, and had called ahead to advise Denise at the lingerie store I was on my way.

Denise was just as friendly as Marlene. Together we picked out items I knew Danny would like — lacy little numbers, teddies and negligees — in a variety of styles and colours. I may not be able to see him, but he could obviously see me, and I wanted him to be happy. Being such small items I was able to take the goods with me, in two bags. Weight wasn’t a problem — I could easily carry four or five times my own weight — but arm space was. There were only so many bags I could carry on my arms.

At the Heels of Steel shoe shop, which was an exclusive ladies only store — transsexuals were welcome if they could afford the price tag — I was able to find ruby shoes that were a very close match to the ones I’d lost. The hunt for a low-cut ruby-coloured dress that went with the shoes, like the one Danny have given me, would need to continue. If only Danny could replace the dress.

I headed back to the hotel with three pairs of heels and two pairs of joggers, as well as the assorted lingerie. Another four pairs of shoes would be delivered in the next week. Heels of Steel didn’t have the colour I wanted for some of the shoes I’d tried on and were arranging for them to be specially made.

Tomorrow I’d go looking for plainer clothes, the kind that allowed me to blend in with a crowd on the street, and accessories — I needed bags and belts — and makeup. Maybe I’d check out the local hunting shop, if there was one, and see what sort of knives they stocked. I felt lost without Death on my arm, or by side. It had been my constant companion for so long.

I dropped my bags at the front desk and asked for my card.

“Here you go, Mishus Malakh,” the young man, his face slightly swollen, said.

“You must be James,” I said and laughed.

“Thash right,” he said.

“Peter warned me that your speech might be impaired due to a recent visit to the dentist. Thanks for the card, I won’t keep you.”

“Do you need any help?”

“No, I can manage,” I laughed softly as I picked up my bags and headed to the elevator.

My room had been cleaned and fresh towels and toiletries provided. I must remember to pick up my own toiletries. Hotel toiletries were okay for a few days, but if this was to be my home for a while I wanted to use my favourite brands.

There were a number of bags and boxes piled neatly behind the couch. Marlene had kept her promise of organising for my purchases to be delivered on the same day.

I dropped my bags next to the existing pile of goods and sat on the couch. I may have only been out for five hours, but I was beat. I put my feet up on the coffee table and sighed.

I looked towards the ceiling. “I wish I could see you. I know you’re there.”

There was no response. He didn’t lift the table, or throw things through the air to attract my attention.

I stood up and made a couple of trips to the bedroom with my goodies and began unpacking. May as well make myself at home. Waiting for me in the wardrobe was a low-cut ruby dress exactly like the one I’d lost when the cottage and all within it had disappeared. I rubbed the fabric between my fingers.

“Thanks, Danny.”

It occurred to me that if Danny had replaced my dress, why not the blade and feather as well? What had I been thinking earlier in the day? I’d keep them in the safe until I needed them. Could I dare to hope they’d be there? I went to the safe and entered the combination to open it. As soon as I heard the familiar click I pulled the door open. Sure enough, Death – the knife — and my good luck charm — Danny’s feather — were there.

I unsheathed the blade to check it was the same one. The symbols I couldn’t read were there, yet somehow it was writing rather than symbols. They looked like words and I felt that I could almost read them. It was Death all right. I had no doubt. Danny was still helping me from beyond, looking after my every need … except one.

I looked at all the clothes I’d bought. I didn’t want to go dancing without Danny, so I don’t know why I’d bothered buying half of it. Retail therapy, shopping to feel better, and I had felt better for it. In a world where I could no longer seek the help of a therapist, if I’d been inclined to see one in the first place, there were very little options open to me. Retail therapy would have to do.

I looked out of the living area window, at the city lights and neon signs, flashing endlessly — look at me, buy me. It was pretty for a place that was cold and lifeless — concrete and steel with no trees, except for that one small park. Sure, people lived here, they worked here, they raised children here, but it wasn’t really living — it was surviving. They would make it from one day to the next, hoping for something better to come along. I knew it all too well, had lived it all too well. That reminded me, I’d need to visit The Cage sometime in the near future to make sure the preacher was behaving. If any children had been seen in his company or his legitimate establishment, The Cage, I’d have to cut off his balls!

I laughed as I thought how he would squeal and how Death would probably cry out for more of his blood. Would I have the strength to deny the blade what it wanted? I guess I’ll find out if it ever comes to that. Would there still be a place for me in heaven if I killed the sleazoid? After all, wouldn’t I be doing the world a favour if I disposed of him? He certainly wasn’t going to heaven. He was going straight to hell, and rightly so.

I walked to the bedroom.

I wish I could change out of these clothes into a negligee, I thought, for Danny, in the blink of an eye.

I blinked — the world was different. I was wearing the little black lacy number, the tags still on it and digging into my back. The clothes I’d been wearing were neatly folded and sitting on the armchair in the corner of the bedroom.

“If you can do that you can show yourself!” I yelled out in frustration.

No, Danny’s voice said, inside my head.

“Yes, you can!”

No, I’m dead, he replied.

I pounded my fist on the door. “You made it sound like death would be no barrier. Show yourself now!”

No, I’m dead, he insisted.

I was getting really angry at his pig-headedness now. And he has the cheek to call me pig-headed. He was making me suffer for no valid reason … unless he really did blame me for his death.

I pointed repeatedly at his side of the bed and said through clenched teeth, “I don’t care if there are rules and regulations you’re meant to follow, you show yourself on that bed right now.”

I gave one final quick jab with my finger. Whitish-blue ice erupted from the tip of my finger, freezing the bed into a solid block of ice. I made a fist with my ice-emitting hand and covered it with my other hand, trying hard to quell the sudden eruption that had occurred. I didn’t know how it had happened, but I definitely didn’t want to freeze the entire room.

I sat down in the armchair, on top of my neatly folded clothes, and surveyed the damage. What the hell had I done? That could only be angel ice, but I wasn’t that type of angel. It wasn’t one of my abilities or talents.

“Danny, what’s going on?’ I whispered.

The blood, Helena, it’s always to do with the blood, he said. Look inwards and you will find what you seek.

I shivered. It had only just occurred to me that it was only since coming to the La’miere that I’d heard Danny’s voice in my head.

In my head, it’s all in my head, I thought. Look inwards and you will find what you seek, that’s what he said.

I was afraid to look — afraid of what I’d find, or what I wouldn’t find.

“Oh god, please don’t make me look.”

The voice was quiet and I began to calm down again. Maybe tomorrow … maybe. I put my head in my hands and looked at my feet.

“Thaw out the bed, Danny. I’m tired and I want to sleep.”

When I looked up the bed was as it had been before it was encased in ice. I crawled into bed — it was a little on the chilly side — and pulled the covers up and over my shoulders, curling into the foetal position to make myself as small as possible. I closed my eyes …

You have to look, Helena, Danny said. You can’t move on until you look.

“I don’t want to move on. I want to stay here with you, Danny, stay here forever.”

You can’t. You have to move on, Danny said. You’re not dead.

I folded my arms across my chest. “Then I’ll just curl up and die.”

If you love me you won’t do that.

“Why do you always use my love for you as a weapon against me?” I wailed.

Because you’re so pig-headed, he chuckled.

“Is it so wrong to want to be with you?”

Like this, yes.

“Don’t make me look,” I begged.

You have to.

I could feel myself looking inward even though I was willing myself not to. I was no longer in control — it was a futile struggle, yet I struggled all the same.

I don’t want to look! I screamed in my head.

Someone had put me on autopilot and I was being taken where they willed, being forced to look. My eyes may have been closed, but I could still see, and the brightness of the light that filled my vision hurt them. There was one thing, and one thing only, in the light — it was me, or rather a reflection of me.

I sat up and gasped. My eyes opened wide as it dawned on me what had been happening these past few days. “Oh my god, Danny gave me a free upgrade.”

He had passed his talents, abilities and knowledge on to me. Everything was mine, whether I wanted it or not. Whatever he’d accumulated over thousands and thousands of years, and then some, was in my head.

“f**k, my head’s going to explode! And his voice, in my head… it was me all along. That voice was me!”

I was taken aback by the revelation. I didn’t want his abilities, I wanted him. I would quite happily have lived with him as my guardian angel, still in my life, just not visible to me, but to not even have that, to have struck a dead end … he was really gone.

I looked at the clock — three fifteen in the morning. I was wide awake now and couldn’t sleep, so wired that my reality — the here and now — was blurring with that part of Danny, which was now fully unlocked.

“I miss you,” I called out, pulling a pillow to my chest, resting my head on it and crying. Were they my tears or his? “I miss you.”