Chapter 9 (Sienna)
1887 Words
Sienna’s POV
I let him kiss me! I can’t keep my face from smiling! My wolf keeps shaking her but, wagging her tail and howling. HE actually wanted to kiss me! My heart has been beating so wildly ever since our kiss. I’m almost scared it’s going to burst in a million pieces!
He says he wants to be there for me, to protect me. Could he really be able to protect me from my own mother? I know he’s the next Alpha and that he’s a very strong and powerful wolf, but could he really? My mother can be so cruel, so evil. I don’t want her to find out about Lucas being my mate. I’m scared she’d do something to hurt him. Hurting me, I can handle it (I think) She’s done it so many times by now. But hurting my mate would be worst. It would be my fault. I can’t let her get to him.
I have a hard time concentrating in class, I keep thinking about Lucas, just sitting next to me. He looked so happy and so dam gorgeous. The way he was swaying in the swing next to me, with the perfect morning sunlight shining behind him… Made him look like a god! A very sexy god. How can someone look so good that early in the morning? Or is it just because it's him? The way his biceps bulged, holding on the swing chains. The way his lips were slightly parted. The way his eyes shined with so much love.
Get a hold of yourself Sienna! You're still in class! My wolf reprimands me. Although your right, he’s a fine piece of…
“BANG!” Holy s**t! What was that?!
I nervously look around. Letting out a sigh of relief, I sit up a little straighter, trying to pay attention to class. Someone just dropped their book. Scared the living daylights out of me… What is the teacher saying?
He said I was beautiful…
How can he say that I’m beautiful after seeing my face like this? I’m disgusting! Even thinking so badly about myself, I still can’t keep that dammed smile off my face. I haven’t smiled this much or felt this happy since my father was here! It’s been YEARS!
I wonder if we could spend more time together? Would he want to spend more time with me today? I hope so… I place the tip of my fingers back on my lips, still not over the fact he wanted to kiss me, that he did kiss me. It makes me blush so hard just thinking about it. How wonderful would it be, to be this happy every day?
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It’s already lunchtime, and I’m not sure of what to do. Do I try to find him?
You probably should, my wolf, Brianna says.
But what if, now that we’re surrounded by people, that he doesn’t want to be seen with me?
I don’t think he’s like that, Sienna. You should try trusting him. He’s never done anything to hurt you or anyone for that matter. He’s always been this nice. Remember when there was that big storm a few years ago? He personally organized everything to recover from it! He’s a good one, I can feel it.
You might be right… But trusting someone so fast, would it really be wise? After everything, we’ve been through… Maybe I’ll just talk to him after school. Or tomorrow…
I close my locker and head out for the forest edge. I love sitting next to a tree and read. That all I do with my time. No friends mean no one to talk to, so, reading it is. I’m almost done my newest book and I really want to find out if my favorite character makes it.
As I start really getting into the plot of my book, A shadow catches my eyes. Looking up, I gasp!
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I couldn’t find you in the cafeteria or anywhere in school… I was getting worried.” Lucas says to me.
He was looking for me!! In the cafeteria! He was actually looking for me and worried because he couldn’t!!!
I’m looking at him with such a dumfound look. I can’t believe my ears. He wants to spend time with me, even if others are around. He was looking for me in the cafeteria.
You sound like a broken record Sienna, say something! Brianna says to me.
“S-sorry, I… I didn’t know i-if you’d want to see me at lunch. I… I usually spend it reading here. It’s Peaceful.”
I Studer, putting my head down, a little scared still. I know he’s not going to do anything bad to me, but still, my mother’s fears and threats are so deeply embedded in my brain, they’re like a conditional reflex.
“It’s ok Sienna, don’t worry, I’m not mad. I’m just glad I found you fast enough.” He tells me with such a gorgeous smile. Is it just me or did he get sexier from this morning? How is that even possible!?
As he sits next to me, taking his lunch out, he asks.
“So, you like reading. What else do you like to do?” He asks, taking a bit out of his sandwich.
He wants to know about me! How should I answer? I don’t do anything except going to school and read books. Oh, and on weekends I deliver orders from the baking store.
“I don’t do much. I s-stay home most of the time when I’m not working on weekends. I read. A lot. It’s pretty much it.” I say, shrugging my shoulders.
“Do you like swimming? I was thinking of going to the fall on Friday with a couple of friends, want to join?”
Friends? He wants me to join him and his friends!? Would they be ok with me going? I can’t even swim. Never been able to learn how to. What am I even thinking, my mother, is NEVER going to let me go out on a Friday night! Especially with someone else. If she knew I was even considering going out, I’d get beaten up so badly.!
“I… I can’t swim. I…I wouldn’t want to be a burden, I shouldn’t go…” I whisper to him, tearing up a little. I really wish going was an option.
“That’s alright, I can show you! “peeking at him from the side, he looks so hopeful that I’d go with him. It hurt me to let him down.
“I... I really shouldn’t go, Lucas.” I whisper again” I’ll just keep you from hanging out with your friend and drag you down. I really don’t want to be a burden. No one wants to be around someone that looks like this anyway, who would?!” I say, looking down at myself.
The disappointment and sadness showing on his face, hurts my heart so dammed much! What should I do? What can I do?! Starting to feel myself panic at his disappointment, I start breathing heavily. Tears start sliding down my face.
“I’m s-so s-sorry Lucas… I know I’m a d-disappointment, I’m useless and u-ugly…. I just don’t want t-to drag you d-down” I tell him, now sobbing uncontrollably.
Pushing himself up from the ground, he grabs me by the shoulder, scaring me.
He’s fed-up with me already! He’s going to hit me! Dammed those uncontrollable fears of mine! But instead of hurting me, I feel his arms snaking around my waist.
Is he…hugging me? He’s hugging me!
Holding me, not too tightly, his face in the crook of my neck, breathing me in for what feels like a long and little amount of time at the same time. He slightly pushes himself away from me but keeps one hand on my waist and the other in between my neck and cheek, careful not to brush my still deep scratch.
“Sienna, YOU, would and NEVER will be a burden to me! YOU are BEAUTIFUL, whether you see it in yourself or not, YOU ARE! I wish you’d see what I see beyond you bruised and scares. Did you know you have sparkles of honey color that appears in your amazing green eyes when you genuinely smile? Do you know how your voice sounds so dammed sexy, gentle, and sweet when you speak? And as for my friends, Mike and Amy, would never treat you like a burden. They are not like that. I’m sure Amy would fight me to be the one teaching you how to swim! “He says, laughing a little at the last part.
Taking deep breaths, trying to calm down. We sit back down, but this time, he sits even closer to me, keeping one of his hands on my thighs. His hand feels so warm and gentle at the same time. I’d love to be able to hold it someday. I’m not ready for any PDA yet. But maybe someday?
Yeah, when your mother's dead maybe… Brianna says to me.
Shut up stupid wolf, let me dream a little, it never lasts long anyway.
Grabbing a hold of my hand, he brings it to his lips and gently kisses it.
“It’s not about not knowing how to swim, is it? You, don’t want to come.” He says.
How can he possibly have guessed it!?
He’s not stupid, Sienna! Brianna says in a frustrated tone.
Should I tell him? No…I’m not ready yet. It’s too soon. What do I tell him…?
He must have noticed my starting to panic again because he gave my hand a gentle squeeze.
“Look, Sienna, I don’t want you to force yourself to tell me what’s really going on, but I am worried about you.” Sigh “I don’t want to see you hurt and so scared all the time, especially not with me. If you tell me you can’t come on Friday, It’s ok. I’m not mad at you for it. I little sad, because I do want to spend as much time as I can with you, and seeing you only around the school, is not enough. I wish I could see you every minute of every day! Just like this.”
How can he be so sweet and considerate? He must have had an amazing life growing up.
Thinking about it now, whenever there’s a gathering, the current Alpha and Luna always seemed so in love and so passionate with each other. Lucas must get it from them.
“Thank you, Lucas, for having the patience of a saint with me. Not many people do. As I told you this morning, I don’t really have any friends, and no one really takes the time to try and talk to me anymore. It’s been years since I had someone other than a teacher talks to me at school. The only time someone did, was to bully or push me around. You haven’t been here for a few years, so it’s normal you don’t know this. I don’t want to be so afraid whenever you do a sudden move around me or touch, I really don’t want to, but I can’t control it. I’ve had to go through so much in the last… well… for a long time now, that I don’t know how else to react. I really didn’t want to make you upset. I’m really sorry…”
We stay silent for a few minutes, taking in what we said to each other.
“Well, we’ll just have to take it one day at a time, right?” He asks.
“Yeah… You’re right. One day at a time.”
- Writer
