New year, New man... me

Chapter 4

Chapter 4: A New Beginning

(Tessy's POV)

The morning light pours through the blinds, casting long shadows across the room. I blink, squinting against the sun's brightness, and for a moment, I forget where I am. The memories of last night — the fight with Jack, leaving my apartment, Sasha’s arms around me — come rushing back. I’m still in Sasha’s place. Safe. I let out a long breath and close my eyes again, trying to let the weight of the situation sink in.

I hear the soft murmur of someone moving in the kitchen. A clink of a coffee mug. The faint hiss of a kettle boiling. Sasha’s up already. Of course, she is. She’s always been the early riser, the one with a cup of coffee in hand before the sun even has a chance to rise.

I sit up, the blankets falling off me. My legs are tangled in the sheets, and the room spins just a little as I stand up. I’m sore. Emotionally and physically. My muscles ache, my head is a bit foggy from lack of sleep, but at least I’m not in that apartment anymore.

The walk to the kitchen feels like miles, but I eventually get there. Sasha is sitting at the kitchen counter, flipping through a magazine, her mug of coffee resting beside her. She doesn’t look up when I enter, but I can feel her eyes on me, like she’s watching for signs of what’s coming next. I sit down across from her, running a hand through my tangled hair.

“You okay?” Sasha asks without looking up from her magazine. She knows me too well.

“I will be,” I answer softly, though the words feel hollow. I don’t know if I believe them. It’s hard to imagine that the person I used to be is still in there, somewhere.

She puts the magazine down and looks at me, her gaze soft but serious. “You don’t have to talk about it if you’re not ready.”

I nod, feeling a lump form in my throat. I don’t want to talk about it yet, but I also don’t want to keep everything bottled up. I need to release some of this tension, this hurt. “It’s just… hard. I thought I had everything figured out with Jack. I thought I could trust him.”

Sasha sighs, pushing her coffee mug aside. “I know. And I’m sorry you went through that.” She reaches across the table, placing a hand on mine, giving it a comforting squeeze. “But you did the right thing. He wasn’t worth it, Tess.”

“I don’t know anymore.” My voice cracks, and I pull my hand away, wiping my eyes quickly. “What if I made a mistake? What if I’m overreacting?”

“You’re not overreacting.” Sasha’s voice is firm, reassuring. “You deserve better than him. And you deserve to be happy, Tess. Don’t forget that.”

I manage a small, tight smile. “Thanks, Sash.” I inhale deeply, trying to steady myself. “I’m just… I’m trying to figure out what comes next. I’ve been with him for so long, it’s like I don’t even know who I am without him.”

“You’ll figure it out,” Sasha says. “You’re strong. You’ve always been strong. And you don’t have to do it alone. I’m here. You’ve got me.”

Her words should bring me comfort, but they also make me realize something else. Something I’ve been avoiding thinking about.

“What about you?” I ask. “What if I’m just a burden now? What if I’m taking up all your space and… I don’t want to be in your way.”

Sasha chuckles, but there’s a hint of concern in her eyes. “Tess, stop. You’re not a burden. You’re my best friend. You’re family. Don’t you dare think otherwise.”

I let out a shaky breath, and for the first time since last night, I feel a little bit of relief. I still don’t know what the future holds, but for right now, I’m not alone.

The silence between us feels more comfortable now. We don’t have to fill it with words all the time. We just exist in it together. After a few minutes, Sasha stands up, stretching her arms above her head. “I’m going to the store. Need anything?”

I shake my head. “I’m good. I’ll just be here… thinking.”

“Alright. I’ll be back soon.” She gives me a reassuring smile before slipping out the door.

As soon as I hear the door click shut behind her, I’m alone again. I’m used to being alone, but right now, the emptiness feels a little too loud. I sit at the kitchen table, staring at the half-finished cup of coffee in front of me. I should drink it. I should try to keep my mind busy. But all I can think about is Jack — his face, his words, his touch.

Why did he have to change? Was he ever the man I thought he was? Or was I just too blinded by love to see the truth?

I take a deep breath and push the thoughts away. I’m not going to waste time on him anymore. He doesn’t deserve it.

I rise from the table, grabbing my phone. Maybe now is the time to start moving forward.

I open my contacts and scroll down to Peter’s name. I’ve known Peter for years, and though we’ve never been anything more than casual friends, there’s always been something about him that draws me in. He’s one of those people who always seems to know the right thing to say. He’s calm, cool, and collected. His presence is soothing in a way I can’t quite explain.

I hesitate for a moment, my thumb hovering over the call button. I haven’t spoken to him in months, and I don’t want to come across as weak or needy, but I need someone to talk to.

You deserve better, Tess, I remind myself. It’s okay to ask for help.

I press the button. The phone rings twice before he answers.

“Tess?” His voice is warm, a little surprised, but not in a bad way. “Hey, what’s going on?”

“Hey, Peter. I… I don’t know if this is weird or anything, but I just needed someone to talk to.”

He pauses, like he’s considering the request. “Not weird at all,” he says finally, his voice steady. “I’m always here if you need me. What’s going on?”

I let out a deep breath, feeling the weight of my emotions coming to the surface. “I just… I left Jack. I couldn’t do it anymore.”

There’s silence on the other end. It’s not awkward silence. Just… thoughtful. Like he’s processing what I’ve just said.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Peter says softly. “But I’m glad you’re out of that situation. You deserve someone who appreciates you.”

I swallow hard, trying to keep my emotions in check. “Yeah. I thought I had everything figured out, but I guess I was wrong.”

“It’s okay,” he says. “You’ll figure it out. You always do.”

I wish I had his confidence. I wish I could believe that everything would be okay, but right now, it feels like nothing is okay. I feel like a stranger in my own skin, unsure of who I am without Jack.

“I don’t know what to do next,” I admit. “Everything feels… broken.”

“You don’t have to have all the answers right away,” Peter says. “Take it one step at a time. And if you need a distraction or someone to hang out with, I’m here. We can grab coffee or something.”

The offer is simple, but it feels like a lifeline. “Thanks, Peter. I really appreciate it.”

“Anytime, Tess.”

We say our goodbyes, and I hang up, my fingers still trembling slightly from the weight of the conversation. The silence creeps back in, and for a moment, I feel that familiar ache of loneliness. But it’s different now. I’m not trapped in a toxic relationship anymore. I’m free.

The door clicks open, and I hear Sasha’s voice before I see her. “Guess who’s back with all the snacks?”

I manage a smile. “I think I’m about to get a sugar high.”

Sasha laughs as she enters the kitchen, bags of snacks and groceries spilling out of her arms. “You’re welcome.” She starts unpacking the bags, her movements quick and efficient. “So, I think it’s time for some movie therapy.”

I nod, a small laugh escaping me. Maybe it’s not much, but for today, it’s enough.