Our Secret Diary

Our Secret Diary - The Things We Don't Say

CHAPTER SEVEN

"Dear Diary,"

"There are things people say without speaking.

A look that lasts a second too long.

A smile that appears before someone even realizes they're smiling.

A hand that almost reaches for yours, then stops.

Sometimes I think those things say more than words ever could.

But what happens when you don't know how to understand them?

What happens when you're afraid that the meaning you see isn't really there?

Maybe silence is safer.

Because once something is said aloud, it can never be taken back."

By Wednesday morning, the rumor about Ethan and Ava had become old news to almost everyone on campus.

Almost.

Lena had tried not to think about it.

She really had.

But the problem with trying not to think about something was that it seemed to make the thought louder.

She walked through the university gates with Maya and Chloe, listening as Maya complained about an upcoming quiz.

"I still don't understand why Professor Harris thinks we need a quiz after giving us a major project."

"Because she wants to test what we've learned," Chloe replied.

"She could test my patience instead."

Lena laughed.

"You're dramatic."

"I'm realistic."

"You're dramatic."

"I'm both."

Chloe smiled.

"At least you're consistent."

They reached the courtyard and stopped beneath the large oak tree.

Lena checked her phone.

She had a message from Ethan.

Ethan: Library after class? We should finish the character profiles.

She stared at the message for a second before typing.

Lena: Sure.

Maya noticed the smile that appeared on Lena's face.

"Who was that?"

"No one."

"Lena."

"It was Ethan."

Maya's eyes widened.

"Ah."

Chloe smiled.

"What did he say?"

"We're meeting after class."

Maya placed both hands on her cheeks.

"You two are becoming a routine."

"It's just the project."

"Of course."

Lena rolled her eyes.

"You've been saying that a lot."

"Because you keep giving me reasons to."

Before Lena could answer, a voice came from behind them.

"Morning."

They turned.

Ethan stood there with Noah and Jason.

"Morning," Chloe replied.

Maya smiled.

"Hey."

Lena gave Ethan a small smile.

"Hi."

"Hi."

For a moment, no one said anything.

Then Noah broke the silence.

"So..."

Maya immediately recognized the tone.

"Oh no."

Noah looked at her.

"What?"

"That 'so' always means trouble."

Jason laughed.

"I've told him that."

Ethan shook his head.

"Ignore him."

Noah grinned.

"I was only going to ask if you two are ready for the project."

"We are," Ethan answered.

"Good."

Noah nodded thoughtfully.

"Very professional."

Ethan gave him a look.

Noah raised both hands.

"I'm done."

Lena tried not to laugh.

There was something strangely comforting about being around Ethan's friends.

Noah was loud like Maya, while Jason was quieter and more relaxed.

It almost felt like their two little groups were slowly becoming one.

A bell rang in the distance.

"That's our signal," Chloe said.

"We should go."

They began walking toward their respective classrooms.

Ethan fell into step beside Lena for a few seconds.

"See you later?"

"Yes."

"Four?"

"Four."

He smiled.

"Okay."

Then he turned toward his classroom.

Lena watched him for a moment before following Maya and Chloe.

Maya immediately whispered,

"Four."

Lena sighed.

"Don't."

"I'm just repeating the time."

"You know what you're doing."

"I really don't."

Chloe laughed quietly.

---

The morning lectures seemed to pass more quickly than usual.

By four o'clock, Lena was sitting at the library table they had used two days earlier.

She had already arranged her notebook, laptop and several books.

Ethan arrived five minutes later.

"Sorry."

"You're fine."

"I got stopped by Professor Harris."

"Why?"

"She wanted to check our project outline."

"Did she like it?"

"She said it was promising."

Lena smiled.

"That's good."

They began working.

This time, the silence between them wasn't awkward.

They had become comfortable enough to work without constantly feeling the need to speak.

Lena typed while Ethan read through their notes.

After several minutes, he leaned toward the screen.

"What do you think about changing the main character?"

"Changing her?"

"Not completely."

He pointed at the paragraph.

"She feels too confident here."

Lena looked at the screen.

"I think she's supposed to be confident."

"Maybe."

He thought for a moment.

"But what if she only appears confident?"

Lena looked at him.

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe she's actually scared underneath."

Lena's expression softened.

"That's better."

"Why?"

"Because people aren't always what they seem."

Ethan smiled.

"Exactly."

Their eyes met.

For a moment, neither looked away.

Then Lena cleared her throat.

"We should write that down."

"Definitely."

She turned back to the laptop.

Neither mentioned what had just happened.

But both noticed it.

A few minutes later, Ethan reached for a book at the same time Lena did.

Their hands almost touched.

Both stopped.

"You take it," Ethan said.

"No, you."

"You were reaching first."

"I can use another one."

"I'll get it."

He reached across the table.

Lena smiled.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

It was such a small moment.

Yet Lena found herself thinking about it long after.

---

Across campus, Ava sat at a table outside the student center with Sophie and Nicole.

She was scrolling through her phone when she suddenly looked up.

"He's always with her now."

Sophie followed her gaze.

Ethan and Lena had just left the library.

"They're working on the assignment."

"I know."

Nicole leaned back.

"Then what's the problem?"

Ava didn't answer immediately.

She watched Ethan laugh at something Lena said.

Her expression tightened.

"The problem is that he never laughs like that with me."

Sophie looked at her.

"Maybe he's just comfortable with her because they're partners."

"Maybe."

Nicole tilted her head.

"Or maybe there's something else."

Ava looked at her sharply.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying you should find out."

Sophie nodded.

"Nicole has a point."

Ava looked back toward the library.

She didn't like uncertainty.

She especially didn't like competition.

And Lena Brooks wasn't someone she had ever considered competition.

Until now.

---

That evening, Ethan sat with Noah and Jason at the university café.

Noah pushed his phone aside.

"So."

Ethan looked up.

"What?"

"How was the library?"

"Good."

"Just good?"

"We worked."

Jason laughed.

"That's exactly what people say when something interesting happened."

"Nothing happened."

Noah leaned back.

"Did you talk?"

"Obviously."

"Did you laugh?"

Ethan gave him a look.

"Yes."

"Did she smile?"

"Probably."

Noah grinned.

"You're finished."

"I'm not."

"You are."

Jason shook his head.

"Leave him alone."

Noah smiled.

"I'm only helping."

Ethan picked up his drink.

"I don't need help."

"Everyone needs help sometimes."

Ethan looked away.

He wanted to tell them.

He wanted to admit that he liked being around Lena.

That he noticed her more than he should.

That he had started looking forward to their meetings.

But something stopped him.

Maybe it was fear.

Maybe it was uncertainty.

Or maybe...

He simply wasn't ready to put a name to what he felt.

---

Later that night, Lena sat at her desk.

Her blue diary was open.

She stared at the blank page.

She thought about the library.

The project.

Ethan's smile.

The way he listened when she spoke.

The way he had noticed the hidden fear in their fictional character.

Then she began writing.

"Dear Diary,

I think something is changing.

I don't know what it is yet.

Maybe I'm simply getting used to him.

Maybe I'm finally seeing the person behind the rumors.

But today, when he smiled at me, I forgot what I was saying.

That shouldn't happen.

And yet... I didn't hate it.

Maybe I'm in trouble.

Or maybe I've been in trouble for a long time and I'm only just admitting it."

She stopped writing.

A small smile appeared on her face.

Then she closed the diary.

She didn't know that, at that exact moment, Ethan was sitting in his own room with his own diary open.

He stared at the page before writing:

"Dear Diary,

I think I'm starting to look forward to seeing her.

I don't know when it happened.

Maybe it was yesterday.

Maybe it was months ago.

Maybe I've just been pretending not to notice.

But today, when she smiled at me, I wanted to remember it.

I don't know what that means.

Not yet."

He closed the diary and leaned back in his chair.

Two people.

Two diaries.

Two secrets.

And neither had the courage to say what both were slowly beginning to feel.